Calico Jak
Eoin MacIonmhain was born in 198?, the son of an upper middle class mother, Sheila, and wealthy aristocrat, the Marquis MacIonmhain.
He began experimentation in fields of musicality at a young age, attending the Royal German Academy of Music at the age of 7. At the age of 8 he lost his virginity to his aged piano instructor, Margot, an alleged Nazi sympathiser who has since faced war crimes charges.
This atmosphere of hedonism and cruelty led Eoin to write his first opus at the age of 10, entitled "The Fallen Throne of the Behemoth Whore".
The Freudian Times called it " a staggeringly complex piece of work.This is the opus of the year, each track smolders with sensuality, sexuality and paternal sin".
The success of this recording turned Eoin into an international star overnight. This was the start of his downfall, which resulted in him prematurally marrying a blind Albanian prostitute, Lola, at the tenderloin age of 15. The marriage lasted 69 days and 69 nights.
At the insistence of his parents, Eoin returned to his education, studying with tremendous fury in the fields of engineering, sexual aquatics and horse shoeing. Needless to say, he excelled.
With bated breath, the public expected him to move into horse shoeing full time, but Eoin doesn't like to do things by the book. He's now back with a fully fledged music career in the subversive guise of "Calico Jak". A fusion of jazz time neo classical rockumental rock, it is sure to delight any given person on a day during the week.
Other projects Eoin is rumoured to be involved in include the by now legendary "Bangkok Salute", as well as "I ain't fussy (once I got some pussy)"
Bio by John Mulvaney
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