Carlos

Who I'd like to meet:

Hey Kids! Are you so cool that you've stopped trying? Don't fit the mainstream's jello mould but you know you're a person no less, right? Got some fire left in the ol' belly? Not afraid of motorcycles, art, ropes or Frank Zappa? GRRRLS, need a shoulder to cry on? (oops, mind those studs) Fellas, planning a coup d'etat, or maybe just mass political disobedience, and need a sounding board? Well, I'm here for you! Over a few quiet beers and then several fairly noisy bourbons and a couple of dangerously loud rum and cokes, we can put the world to rights. My specialties include consoling distraught damsels; offending the inoffensive; starting bar fights and then ducking out to the next pub; and vandalising hatchbacks with Playboy Bunny airfresheners hanging from the mirror. Aw come on! What do you think I'm here for? Your entertainment? My health? You're not wasting my time are you? Sometimes I could just scream in here. Leave the lights on! Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you! Like if I had any friends at all I'd be spending my nights bug-eyed, staring, trawling the web for who knows what strange harvest? .. .. ..