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Carlos Valencia
Stand-Up / Explicit/Raw / Family Friendly
life's too short to watch average movies.

Male
29 years old
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina
United States



Last Login: 7/16/2009
Mood: comic? Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos | Playlists

   Contacting Carlos Valencia

 MySpace URL: 

   Carlos Valencia's Comedian Bio
BioI like art. I like genuine things. I think most of the world is ridiculous. I think you should be able to laugh at the world and the people in it, including yourself. I like weird. Embrace different. Reject traditional antiquated moral values. Sex should be guiltless. Challenge pre-conceived notions. Defy baseless rules. Support authentic. I don’t know anything, but I’m glad I at least know that much.

For a while I thought about being a flying comedian, but I decided to go with stand-up once I realized I could not afford a jetpack.

Websitefacebook.com/carlosvalencia
Influencesman on pot, man drunk, man falling down, man farting, man burping, man with funny oversized glasses (preferably with bushy mustache), man getting kicked in the crotch.
Membersone.
TV ShowsAmerica's Funniest Home Videos (1993). As guy who accidentally drops baby cousin in bear trap.
FilmsBit parts in Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, Ben Hur, Gremlins 2.

I also directed and co-wrote the critically acclaimed "Death of a Paddleboat Lover".
AlbumsI have many albums, but only of the photographic kind.



    Carlos Valencia's Interests
Generalmusic, films, politics, comedy.......................................................... mitch hedberg, david letterman, andy kaufman, mark twain, richard pryor, doug stanhope, dave attell, george carlin, alan abel, brian posehn, bill burr, zach galifianakis, bill murray, bill hicks, patton oswalt, david cross, brian regan, greg giraldo, jim gaffigan, lenny bruce, judah friedlander, louis ck, todd barry, dave chapelle, jon stewart, sarah silverman, norm macdonald, neil hamburger
Musicthe strokes, interpol, belle and sebastian, they might be giants, cursive, death cab for cutie, daniel johnston, john prine, pink floyd, aimee man, the arcade fire, beck, bright eyes, coldplay, the cure, daft punk, danny elfman, the darkness, the dears, death from above 1979, delux, desaparecidos, the doors, the faint, the fiery furnaces, the flaming lips, franz ferdinand, the frogs, godspeed you black emperor, lcd soundsystem, sigur ros, sonic youth, pavement, first half metallica, megadeth, ted leo and the pharmacists, thelonious monk, the new pornographers, outkast, the hives, sahara hotnights, jeff buckley, guns n roses, pearl jam, nirvana, tool, rage against the machine, sleater-kinney, danzig, le tigre, the thermals, radiohead, portishead, caifanes, soda stereo, cafe tacuba, carlos gardel, edmundo rivero, daniel santos, rem, queens of the stone age, system of a down, the walkmen, the libertines, tom waits, wesley willis, wu-tang clan, the pixies, the postal service, the yeah yeah yeahs, the misfits, sepultura, Frank Sinatra, the drive-by truckers, kings of leon, stellastarr*, the ramones, marilyn manson, nine inch nails, voxtrot, weezer, the white stripes, wilco, yo la tengo, classical, jazz, bolero, tango, and pretty much anything performed with a passion.
MoviesEdward Scissorhands, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Wrestler, The Dark Knight, Insomnia, The Prestige, Memento, The Life Aquatic, the Royal Tenenbaums, The Usual Suspects, Blade Runner, Alien, Terminator 2, Breaking the Waves, Dogville, The Corporation, Toy Story, Dr. Strangelove, Life Is Beautiful, SFW, Forrest Gump, Gummo, Kids, Koyaanisqatsi, the King of Kong, Groundhog Day, Quick Change, Lost in Translation, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Se7en, Fight Club, Run Lola Run, Napoleon Dynamite, Milk, The Matrix, Manos Hands of Fate (MST3K), all your base, are belong to us, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill, The Hudsucker Proxy, The Big Lebowski, The Shawshank Redemption, The Doom Generation, The Crow, 12 Monkeys, 300, The Motorcycle Diaries, The Devil's Advocate, The Professional, Short Circuit 2, The Silence of the Lambs, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, Sydney, American Psycho, Road to Perdition, The Dead Poets Society, Picnic At Hanging Rock, UHF, Swingers, A Few Good Men, Unforgiven, A Perfect World, The Thirteenth Floor, The Thin Red Line, The Neverending Story, Rocky, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Saw, Heat, Falling Down, Braveheart, American Movie, The Straight Story, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Hero, Amelie, Waking Life, Slacker, Borat, Religulous, V for Vendetta, Valentin, Wings of Desire, Hiroshima Mon Amour, Sin City, Singles, The Motorcycle Diaries, Goodnight and Good Luck, City of God, Goodbye Lenin, Coffee and Cigarettes, Broken Flowers, Death of a Paddleboat Lover.
TelevisionSopranos, Deadwood, The Wire, Frontline, Mad Men, Lost, Jeopardy, NewsRadio, Cheers, The Kids in the Hall, Carnivale, Oz, Six Feet Under, Adult Swim, Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast, MST3K, SNL, Daily Show, Letterman, Conan.
Booksthe little prince, on the road, red dragon, the silence of the lambs, the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
Heroesjohn brown, jan palach, jorge eliécer gaitán, victor jara

     Carlos Valencia's Details
Status:Single
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:charlotte, nc
Religion:Other
Zodiac Sign:Pisces
Smoke / Drink:No / Yes
Occupation:stand up comedian

   Carlos Valencia's Schools
University Of North Carolina At Charlotte
Charlotte,North Carolina
Graduated: 2005
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Political Science
Minor: Film Studies
 

1950 to 2005

   Carlos Valencia's Networking
Television - Talent - Comedian
comic of the non-sitdown kind.


Carlos Valencia's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 5 Total Plays: 2559 Plays Today: 0
Trying out a new catch phrase.
Trying out a new catch phrase. rating
The Dark Knight DVD Special Features
The Dark Knight DVD Special Features rating
one liners & bon jovi
one liners & bon jovi rating
Carlos Valencia a la Scott Oseychik
Carlos Valencia a la Scott Oseychik rating
Carlos Valencia
Carlos Valencia rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Jul 17 2009 7:00P
Laugh Your Asheville Off Comedy Festival Asheville NC
Jul 21 2009 7:00P
The Galway Hooker Lake Norman NC
Jul 23 2009 7:00P
City Bistro Greenville NC
Jul 24 2009 8:00P
Alive Charlotte NC
Sep 17 2009 8:00P
The Comedy Zone Tallahassee FL
Sep 18 2009 8:00P
The Comedy Zone Tallahassee FL
Sep 19 2009 8:00P
The Comedy Zone Tallahassee FL
Sep 20 2009 8:00P
Howl at the Moon Ft. Walton FL
Sep 23 2009 8:00P
Kelsey’s Bluefield WV
Sep 25 2009 8:00P
The Comedy Zone @ Doc Holliday’s Harrisburg PA
Sep 26 2009 8:00P
The Comedy Zone @ Doc Holliday’s Harrisburg PA
Oct 22 2009 8:00P
Jokers Milwaukee WI
Oct 23 2009 8:00P
Jokers Milwaukee WI
Oct 24 2009 8:00P
Jokers Milwaukee WI
Nov 18 2009 7:00P
Comedy Quarter Appleton WI
Nov 19 2009 7:00P
Comedy Quarter Appleton WI
Nov 20 2009 7:00P
Comedy Quarter Appleton WI
Nov 21 2009 7:00P
Comedy Quarter Appleton WI
Nov 26 2009 7:00P
All dates and venues below are subject to change. NC
Dec 7 2009 7:00P
The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson Burbank CA
Dec 8 2009 2:00P
The Ed Sullivan Show New York NY
Dec 8 2009 7:00P
Fillmore Auditorium San Francisco CA
Dec 9 2009 9:00A
Captain Kangaroo Los Angeles CA
Dec 9 2009 7:00P
Carnegie Hall New York NY
Dec 10 2009 1:00P
Tony Orlando and Dawn Los Angeles CA
Dec 10 2009 2:00P
Texaco Star Theater w/ Milton Berle New York NY
Dec 11 2009 7:00P
Colgate Comedy Hour Hollywood CA
Dec 12 2009 7:00P
Red Rocks Amphitheater Denver CO
Dec 13 2009 7:00P
Madison Square Garden New York NY
Dec 14 2009 7:00P
MGM Grand hotel & casino Las Vegas NV
Dec 15 2009 7:00P
Central Park New York NY
Dec 16 2009 7:00P
The Budokan Tokyo, Japan
Dec 17 2009 7:00P
The Roman Coliseum Rome, Italy
Dec 25 2009 12:00A
The Vatican Vatican City
Dec 31 2009 11:45P
Times Square New York NY
Jan 2 2010 4:00P
Amazon Jungle The Amazon, Brazil
Jan 3 2010 7:00P
Antarctica The South Pole
Jan 4 2010 7:00P
The Bering Straight Siberia, Russia

Carlos Valencia's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Join my mob killing Mob Family!  (view more)

Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies  (view more)

hell gigs (do not work "Dickblowers")  (view more)

Fun facts found in the Bible!  (view more)

marketing  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Carlos Valencia's Blurbs
About me:

A lot of my fans complain they can't see me perform nearly as much as they'd love to because I don't have enough shows booked within a 12 hour driving distance from where they live. So for those fans I created the following recreation of what it is like to see me perform live. By just clicking on different parts of my body you can experience with amazing accuracy what it is like to be in the audience of one of my shows. Enjoy.




..
FanBridge.com


for a good time...
MySpace IM
or AIM - "RavensClawWings"
or MSN - "carlosVcomedy"
or Yahoo! IM - "carlosVcomedy"

e-mail: mr.carlosvalencia@gmail.com

Who I'd like to meet:
anti-carlos. the unhatted, long joke telling, always white wearing, perfect segwaying, human piñata bursting with enthusiasm next comedy genius of the world.

   Carlos Valencia's Friend Space (Top 12)
Carlos Valencia has 762 friends.
 Paul Hooper 


 Sir Davis 


 Mike Storck 


 Rodney Keith 


 Tim Kidd 


 Debbye Joi 


 Nikki Frank 


 Kerry White 


 Joe Zimmerman 


 clint 


 Josh Goguen 


 Johnny Millwater 





Carlos Valencia's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 570 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
*Lotus Princess*





Jul 5 2009 5:10 AM


glitter-graphics.com
HomeGrown





Jun 26 2009 4:23 AM

Thanks for the add. Booked my next show for July 4th! I'm super excited. Congrats on being booked until 2010!
*Lotus Princess*





Jun 21 2009 5:19 PM


glitter-graphics.com
Benjo (Ben Mellis)





Jun 4 2009 7:10 PM

I hope your still rocking the comedy world, would love to see ya come back to Michigan. I tell people about you and when I do they say "Carlos Mencia, really? I can't stand that guy." And I say "I know me either, but you need to check out Carlos Valencia"
clint





Jun 4 2009 7:10 PM

i'm definitely in. i'm also launching a tour with comics that have no cell phone or email account called "The Unreachables"
Vintage Tone





May 12 2009 8:26 PM

good show the other night... good luck on continued success.
*Sheilamadrie*{{shoots people!!}}





May 11 2009 6:35 AM

Thanks for the add! Thanks for the encouragement too! My nerves get the better of me. I'm hoping one day that will stop. I'm just happy I didn't puke all over the fuckin place this time!
Glass Genocide July 24th @ Saints & Sinners





May 11 2009 2:20 AM

Thanks for the add. We appreciate the support.

Much Respect
Glass Genocide
Joe Zimmerman





May 5 2009 8:27 PM

Thanks for posting my debut, what a throwback - some things never do change.
Christina





Apr 30 2009 9:21 PM

ummm...excuse me sir!!! where were you last night?!?!?! :o( you and spencer werent there and i was sad. and so was my roomie. lol...
The Sticky Blues





Apr 26 2009 6:26 AM

..


"Soundtrack10; A Girl
with Wavy Hair" by The Sticky Blues
from The Sticky Blues
.


Hi, how are you? This is a new self-directed, independent music video
from The Sticky
Blues.


All of these peaces are from a independent film called

"Insane Octopus Monster vs Pop Corn Man 2nd Round"

which was shot in Tokyo by The Sticky Blues.


We'd appreciate your offers to create your Soundtracks or Music Videos.


We'll make them for free!unless your work is a peace of shit or

would be used for military purpose. Please feel free to
contact us! E-mail: stickyblues@hotmail.co.jp
..
..
~nO ReGrEtS~





Apr 26 2009 6:26 AM

Where ya coming in TN?
Kelsey (♥)





Apr 26 2009 6:26 AM

You should come up to the Fredericksburg/northern VA area this summer and be funny.
K?
The Package





Apr 21 2009 1:24 AM

Let's celebrate 420 BABY! It's not a drug reference, it's my credit score!
Kelli





Apr 17 2009 10:19 PM

Thanks. Now I am going to go cry.
Christina





Apr 16 2009 6:02 PM

hey cutie pie! it feels like forever since i've seen you! lol. my roomie and i have been pretty busy with other shiz..so..yeahhh. lol. anywho...we should be going this tuesday, so you besta be there.
:P xoxo
Casey Kustak Comedy





Apr 13 2009 10:13 PM

Yo Carlos! When are you going to be around this area again? When you do get back lets do a show and a beer.
How's the road trating ya?
Face!





Apr 12 2009 11:07 PM

Nu uh, I grew up just over the border from the fort.
When's that? I'm there!!!!
Face!





Apr 12 2009 9:33 PM

When are you coming to Oklahoma? Or maybe Minneapolis, but just for Thursday through Wed.
Christina





Apr 10 2009 12:44 PM

hey silly face! :P como estas? i'll be stopping by the cafe this tuesday, so you besta be there! lol.
:P xoxo
RhettandLink





Apr 8 2009 8:41 PM

The musical drive-thru order is BACK, but it's not a rap this time...it's a FOLK SONG!



Comment and Rate on Youtube.
Mr. Invisible





Apr 8 2009 9:45 PM

3316903103_8d3e7c329a..

Joe Zimmerman





Apr 6 2009 11:04 PM

Hey, I saw you finally got in with SK Net Cafe. Congratulations, the seeds of your hard work are finally starting to bear fruit.
Suzanne Rothgeb





Apr 4 2009 5:43 AM

I just had my first offer to do something more than open mics!!!! What do I do?
Michelle





Apr 1 2009 7:18 PM

HAHA....I am not surprised. :c) See you tonight.
I can't wait to hear some new material!
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