Chef Tom

About me:

More Funny Stuff at GOYK.COM ......................................................... ..
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Everything there is to know about me USED TO BE on my profile. You could, with the proper perspective, read into my entire life story by reading the words , the pictures and the video selections that I had once had.......... until The Fucking SpaceNazis deleted my original account because of "violations"....So now we're stuck with the basic , standard, boring as fuck, bullshit, cunt sucking, whittled down, terd plopping, bend over and take it, stuffed up there ass, shat back out, ass backwards, analie rententive, scrotum squashing, chinchilla licking, no good, sack of monkey shit version of what was once a beautifully dark and sinister empire. Fuck that shit.....I'm re-building the empire now and will continue to do so until they delete my sarcastic, give 'em the finger, death to all that oppress artistic expressions , mother fucking , drink my ball sweat, pure evil, steaming pile of a carcass profile again and again and .....yes .... again! Halleluah! Holy Shit!
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......................... Other than that........ I'm 35 going on 18. Have a very dark, twisted, indiscriminate and very oppurtunistic sense of humor. I tend to go off on a long winded rant when the mood so strikes me...so fuck off........................ In Case You Don't Catch On Too Quick......I love Tattoo artistry.......I love the designs and the people who have the balls and tits to get them inked into their skins.................. I don't have a cell phone....I am caveman.....ugh.....send smoke signals and pound the tribal drums to call me! ..................................................................
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As for reasons as to why my page is so dark....... English is my third language only proceeded by Jibberish and Profanity. I'm into hardcore death metal, speed metal and gothic industrial. I love horror films, I love dark nights, I prefer rain, wind and snow storms to fair weather (I grew up in Pasadena and Santa Barbara...kinda tired of sunshine). Half naked women covered in fake blood looks more like a fun date than a reason to run screaming. (besides ...chocolate sauce is an over rated cliche and just makes people fat) We all have a dark side that needs attention. Ignoring that darkness will only prove a disaster when it finally takes over our life and then promptly destroys everything. This I know from experience. Do not hold anything in, let go of your resentments ... it will all come back to kill you when you least expect it Feed your Demons every once in awhile ... show the dark side some love. Have some fuckin' fun and try not to get caught if it goes too far
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Yes ... I delve into it more than most ... but it keeps me balanced and free from pretense, insincerity and becoming a drooling drone like the rest of the lemmings trapped in their cubicles. Leave me in my dungeon where I can play with fire and knives while getting paid. Still under the corporate thumb like all the rats , I don't claim to be anything else, but I got to tell ya .... it's so fuckin' hilarious to hear them whine and beg when their boss makes a surprise visit and wants lunch!!! HAHAHAAA They rely on the rats to save them everytime.
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Then there's side two ..... I have always coined Led Zeppelin as my all time favorite band of all time. I grew up listening to Bob Seger, Neil Diamond, Simon and Garfunkel, Lucianno Pavrotti, Beetoven and The Beatles ..... and still do to this very day. My tastes and preferences are all over the place. Perhaps you've noticed that half the people in my top friends list are local musicians that are Acoustic Americana and Folk Music. I also film their performances around Portland then post them here and on youtube. .................................................................................................. ................................
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I am married to the girl I dated in high school and have three daughters and will someday soon purchase....three matching ALUMINUM BASEBALL BATS!!!(they have such a wonderfully distict sound when they're used to hit a skull) All to be engraved with thier own nicknames(Ballcrusher, Datemasher, SkullCracker...etc..)...............so you fuckers out there will have me to deal with when you try to take them out for a date! ............................ Been in Oregon 4 years....love it here....would love to be in Alaska more if it were'nt so isolated from civilization. The cold, dark and rain are very comfortable. I grew up in southern California....so fuck sunshine...had enough....need rain and snow, dark clouds and thunderstorms to keep me happy. .................
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Now I go out to all the Portland clubs to see the local bands. The metal scene her has exploded since we first moved here coupled with the ever enduring gothic scene has melted into a quagmire of beautifully dark talent that I can't get enough of. All of my favorite local bands are on list of fiends...SO GO LISTEN TO THEM ALL!!!!!! Get to the fucking local shows.....they're cheap, easy to find and the talent encased in these musicians and artists are enough to fry whats left of your brain cells. Support your local scene, whatever it is you're into. Last year I asked them all over for dinner and interviews, then put together a documentary style movie called "Images of Balance" using the live clips and the interviews. Posted the movie chapters here ; www.myspace.com/chefsspecialproductions .............
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