Cheryl Buffarilla

About me:

This will be my 3rd profile update/revision. As I evolve my profile should reflect this. I am not the same person I was 10-20-30 or 40yrs ago. I have heard that every 10 years we grow so much that if we met ourselves 10 years earlier we may not even recognize the person we were. I know in my life I can attest to this. 10 years ago I met and Married a wonderful human being and his name is Craig. Almost 2 yrs ago he suffered a major stroke and has since needed 24/7 care. We ran our own business, owned our own home, went on vacations, had a camper, snow mobiles, saved for our retirement and in general "Enjoyed life to its fullest". This ended abruptly on 11/2/06. Our dreams were gone, our life as we knew it was over and a new sage was about to begin. Craig is no longer the man I married and loved for 8 yrs. He is now a shadow of who I knew with some days being better than others, but most days being very trying on both of us. I spent a good year and half grieving over our loss, his loss, my loss and our future. Craig does not understand that he is dying and holds onto the fantasy that he will get better one morning when he wakes up and walk and drive and work again. This event has most certainly been the most tramatic for me in over 40yrs of life. I am not sure exactly when I started accepting our situation as a life change without the daily tears of grief, but it did happen! I find myself now waking up with a new perspective on life, contented for a "Drama-less" day and sharing some laughter with the one I love. Back when Craig had his stroke, I was told to get some grief counseling, to take some time for myself otherwise I would not be any good for him. I was told to join a support group and find others who could help me come to terms with his stroke and full time medical needs. I did not do any of these things for over a year and a half as I guess I needed to grieve before I could talk about my needs. I refused to even think about my needs as I felt this time was about him and I would take care of me when the time came. I am not too sure if my grieveing process would have been shorter had I followed the advise of others or not, but I do know that once I found an outlet I started feeling better about my life, his life and our life together. I owe so much to the "Friends" I have had the pleasure of interacting with here on MySpace. I found this site in early 2008 but due to Craig being so sick I did not put up a page until Spring of 2008. I found many "Friends" that are entertaining and informative. But then something really wonderful happened, "Friends" started finding me! They would read my page, request an add and chat with me about my life and how I was coping or not coping. I finally found a place and people that cared and let me vent and gave me the words of wisdom I needed quite badly. Sometimes when we have pain and the pain goes away we don't even realize it until days or weeks later. We wake up one day and realize, the pain is gone.....How long have I not been in pain? I forgot how good it feels to be me again!!! So thank you my Friends for being there for me when I needed Friends more than words can express. I feel like you all dug out the hole so that I could climb out and feel the sunshine on my face again. I had forgotten how good the sunshine felt, how refreshing a cool breeze on my face was and most important, the passion for life that I felt I would never feel again return each morning I open my eyes. Thank you for all of you that have given me words of wisdom, kindness, laughter and a glimpse into your lives as well. Life is good and full of changes that may in fact be hard at first to embrace, but it is possible even for the long suffering.

Atheist MySpace Graphics - MySpace Graphics
http://www.graphicsbucket.com/graphics/atheist/

Gary Jules - Mad World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtpY5_HASM8