span>.. ..
DO YOU want to experience President Bush the Bushinator, a dyslexic recovered alcoholic hell-bent on bringing recovery to alcoholic dictators based on solid C.I.A Intel?....
“Life will take on a glorious new meaning. To watch people recover from insane desert thinking, to see them help others, to watch loneliness and W.M.D’s vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of radical friends -- this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. And we’re watching! Frequent C.I.A. contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.” ....
HOW ABOUT George Carlin coming back from the grave to explain “We Agnostics”. Or Ken Lay commenting on employment while watching a donkey show with Dick C?....
WHAT ABOUT a Ken Lay teaching a partying John McCain how to stay sober, in a sauna, after traveling down a “Touched by a Catholic Priest” memory lane- only to see him metaphorically spanked by Obama?....
“His call to the priest led him down memory lane to that dark room when he was a boy, but presently to a certain resident of the town, who, though formerly able and a respected Senator, was then nearing the nadir of drug addict, shoe tapping, presidential campaign and despair. It was the usual situation; home count wrong, wife ready to leave the campaign, Vice Presidential running mates kids are having kids, can’t get from under the shoe of Obama and barely standing mangled from years at a P.O.W camp. He had a desperate desire to stop, but saw no way out of the bar, for he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape. Painfully aware of being somehow handicapped from the watch he hid up his rear, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be stuck on stupid.” ....
WHAT ABOUT the Clintons?....
“They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect. ....
She replied, "Yes, we've got a corker. He's had sexual relations a couple of aids in the past. Goes off his head completely when he's on the pot. He has become a liability because I’m running for president. But he's a grand chap when he's sober, though he’s done it eight times in the last six months. Understand he was once a well-known President in town, but just now the party has got him strapped down tight." [NOTE: This refers to Bill and Hillary’s A.S. experience}”....
Not for you, how about Dennis-Verbose-Miller explaining “How it Works” from his Islamic Militant point of View?....
Think of Dennis-Leery-of-Himself explaining More about Alcoholism.....
“At thirty five I was doing a great deal of spree snorting. I was very nervous in the morning after an eight ball and quieted myself with a bottle of Xanax. I was ambitious to succeed in the entertainment business, but saw that I would get nowhere if I continued down this path. I was wrong! Once I started, I had no control whatever. I made up my mind that until I was successful in the biz and had it made, I would not touch a drop/line- Night Quill only. I became an exceptional man, and remained bone dry for twenty five months and made it. Then I fell victim to the belief which practically every actor/comedian has – that after a long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified me to sniff coke as other men. In two months I was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. My Johnson was broke. I tried to regulate my blow for a while, making several trips to the hospital in the meantime. Then, utilizing all my forces, I attempted to fucking stop altogether and found that the problem had now sunk its nasty little teeth into my pecker. Every means of solving this problem which money could buy was at my disposal. I tried transvestites, acid therapy, acid and transvestites, Viagra, Ecstasy, Viagra/ Ecstasy and midget transvestites. Every attempt failed. Though a robust man, I went to pieces quickly, my comedy suffered, and my career was dead within four years.”....
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The FIRST Book of Its’ Kind.....
Available For A LIMITED Time ONLY!....
Buy A Part of HISTORY.....
Perfect GIFT for someone in recovery.....
GREAT read for someone with a sense of humor! ....
GARANTEED TO BE THE MOST INSANE BOOK YOU HAVE EVER READ!....
A parody, a travesty and a tragedy....
By: chris Kovach
Spares no expense at Lampooning:
Alcoholism, A.A, Pablo Picasso, Crazy people, Modern Medicine, Rappers, Reverends, Hip Hop, Patients, The Fellowship, Cults, Public Speaking, Drunks, Courtrooms, Libraries, Priests, Aliens, 13th Stepping, Group Sex, Dirty Sanchez’s, Chicago-Steam-Rollers, Rusty Trombones Std’s, New Comers, Ebonics, Gangsters, Pimps, Players, Doctors, Musicians, Poets, Snoop Dog, M.O.B, Humane Motive and Community Spirit, Rehab, College, The Allergy, Mercedes, Smoking Marijuana, Prostitutes, Hollywood Squares, Real TV, Transsexuals, Gays, Straights, Mc Donald’s, Pamela Anderson, Bill H, The Ego, FFA, Hicks, Forrest Gump, The Rodeo, The Military, Sewage, Blue Collar Workers, White Collar Workers, Small Towns, Bar Food, Dairy Queen, Michael Jackson, Child Molestation, Inventors, Barbecuing, Getting Fired, California, New York, Texas, Outhouses, The Media, The Cast of The Wizard of Oz, Liver Problems, Growing Marijuana, Poor People, Illegal Aliens, Sanity, Insanity, Grandmother’s, Cousins, Fathers, Brothers, Inbreeding, Trailer Parks, The Handicapped, Peyote, Electroshock Therapy, Mental Health, Tranquilizers, Bull Riders, Nervous Break Downs, The Brain, Multiple Personality Problems, Sedatives, John Travolta, Birds, Xanax, Brownies, Pyramid Schemes, Cup Cakes, Chipmunks, The Internet, Bankers, Donkeys, Chinese Handcuffs, Dave Chapel, God, Hallucinations, Debt, Praying, Impotence, Viagra, Luck, Inheritances, The Mob, Nude Beaches, Plexi-Glass, Federal Prison, Poison, Suckers, Dennis Leary, Coke Sniffing, Vulgarity, The alcoholic-drug addicted-sexaholic-bi polar-multiple personality-glue sniffing-asshole, Masturbation, The Matrix, The Allusion, Stardom, Night Quill, Morals, Crack Houses, The Entertainment Business, Acid, Ecstasy, Midget Transvestites, Betty Ford, Rehab, The Lurking Notion, Ozzy Osborne, Antibodies, N.A., M.A., S.A., C.A, Parole Officers, Rosie O’Donnell(skinny), Sororities, Mental States, Bankruptcy, Robert Downey Jr, Celebrity Rehab, Jail, The Emmy’s, Head Shops, Porn Stars, The Oscars, Coca Cola, Peter Pan, Pain killers, Plastic Surgery, Chucky Cheese, Paul McCartney, Limo Drivers, Tiny Tim, Christmas, Mr. Scrooge, Pinocchio, Prophesying, Mental Blank Spots, George Carlin, Agnostics, Artistic Creativity, 911, Pentagon, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, Enzyte, Collective Conscience, Jesus, The Nile River, Boating, Catholic Priests, Fanaticism, David Caresh, Gods Existence, Gods Messengers, The Spiritual Experience, Donald Trump’s hair, Perms, Jehovah Witnesses, Organized Religion, Brest Implants, Tooth Fairy, Thorazine, W.M.D’S, President Bush; The C.I.A, The Devil, Primordial ooze, Andy Dicks Colon, Faith, Intolerance, Superstition, Tradition, Sacrifice, Nostradamus, Robin Williams, Nair, Time Travel, Back to The Future, Van Dam, Time Cop, Racism, Misery, Despair, Teleportation, Zealots, Destiny, Strippers, Children, Blow up dolls, Bob Barker, Billy Bob T, Special Olympics, Men’s Figure Skating, Penelope Cruz, Business Failure, Illness, Suicide, Post-war Disillusionment, Opium Use, A Female God, Ron-Jeremy, Mel Gibson, Dennis Miller, I.Q’s, Neanderthals, Ireland, Crispy Cream, Old English, Broke Back Mountain, Childhood trauma, Cops, THE TWELVE STEPS, The Principles, Human Power, The Will, Perfectionists, Faith, Jihad, Osama Bin Laden, America, Republicans, Democrats, Islam, Bombs, Resentments, Fear, Sex Relations, Euthanizing, Magic, Rape, The Devil, Criminal Activity, Affairs, Physic Medication, Physiologists, Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends & Influence people, Germans, Arabs, Dyslexia, Elmer Fudd, Satellites, Action Jackson, N.A.T.O., POW camps, Asylums, Telephones, Family, Halliburton, Iraq, Bars, Nightclubs, Dances, Receptions, Weddings, Nike, The Salem Witch Trials, Sex Toys, Red Headed Step Children, Depression, Health spas, Sanitariums, Hospitals, Massage parlors, McDonalds, Under Age Sex, HIV, Cinemax, Swingers, Orgy’s, Monkeys, Killing, Junkies, Luck, Stupidity, Pride, Self-pity, Vanity, Al Bundy, Football, Parenting, Ken Lay, Watergate, Lewis Black, Jews, Employers, F.B.I, Enron, Embezzlement, District Attorneys, Houston, Mexico, Boys Town, Donkeys, Elton John, Dick Cheney, Obama, McCain, Clintons, Congress, chris Kovach and much, much more….......
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