- You see, Petra, Lester and l went through a time when it looked as if everything were over. We were weary, disgusted, and you have to be wise, show understanding and humility. A woman has her devices. She just has to know
how to use them.
- I wasn't interested in "devices", especially not female ones. I had no time for conjuring tricks.
- Tricks, Petra?
- Yes, they're tricks. Dodges, cheating if you like. They lead to a loss of freedom.
- When I hear words like "humility"--
- Don't sneer! Don't sneer at me!
- Lester and I are really happy now. Humility paid off. He thinks he's the boss. I let him think so, but in the end I get my way.
- Listen, darling. I know what you mean and it may be all very well for you and Lester. Maybe this sense of
compulsion is just what you need. But you see, Frank and l we wanted to make our love beautiful. And for us, "beautiful" meant always knowing what was going on in yourself and in the other person. We didn't want a humdrum marriage with codes of behavior. We wanted to decide everything anew, always be alert, always free.
- I don't understand why everything must be so complicated when it can be simple. Codes of behavior exist for us to use them consciously. Why keep having to decide things anew when we have tried and trusted methods and they're good?
- We wanted to be happy together. You understand? Together! There's no tried and trusted model I know for that.
- What turned it all into disgust when there was so much clarity and understanding?
- Success, for example. The success I had and that Frank hoped for and needed so much. That's how it began. It was as simple as that.
- I'm sorry, but success is no reason to...
- Men! and their vanity! Ah, Sidonie. He wanted to pamper me, take care of me. Of course, he took me
seriously and respected my opinions. But he wanted to be the breadwinner. And that's how oppression comes about, quite automatically. It works like this: I listen to you and understand you, but who slaves away and earns the money? One rule for him, another for me. My dear, at first, it was: "Everything you earn, my girl, will be put aside for later. A home of our own, a sports car..." I agreed, because he was so loving, sidonie. And sometimes the love he lavished on me just swept me away. I was breathless for joy. Then, when he struck a bad patch it was almost funny to see how his ridiculous pride was pricked. To be honest, I enjoyed it. Especially as I thought he knew how ridiculous his behavior was. But he didn't. And Iater, when I tried to tell him that it made no difference to me whether a man was on top or not it was too late. As soon as I broached the matter he was like a wall, Sidonie. Iike a wall. Gradually the honesty began to die. I thought I was mistaken in him or myself. So then I called it a day. I stopped loving him. The last six months were excruciating, believe me, excruciating! He realized it was all over. He felt it at least. But he refused to accept it. He wasn't really intelligent. He tried to hold on to his wife, if not wholly, at least in bed. That's when it turned to disgust. He tried a new technique: violence. I let him possess me. I bore it. But the man seemed so filthy.
- Petra!
- He stank! He stank of man. The way men stink. What had once had its charms now nauseated me, brought tears to my eyes. The way he took me!
- Petra, please!
- Hear the story out, will you! He mounted me like a bull mounting a cow. Not the slightest respect
anymore. No thought of a woman's pleasure. The pain, Sidonie! The pain! You can't imagine it. And when l... sometimes... Oh, the shame of it! I felt so humiliated. He thought I was crying for love and gratitude. How stupid he was! He was so dumb! How stupid men are!
- You poor thing! How you must have suffered!
- I don't need your pity. He deserved mine. Understanding, kindness or pity if nothing else were possible. He aroused no feelings in me. It became worse and worse. When we dined together, his chewing sounded like an explosion. I couldn't stand it when he swallowed, the way he cut his meat, ate his vegetables, held a cigarette, a glass of whiskey. Everything seemed so ridiculous, so affected. I felt ashamed for him. I imagined everyone else must see him the way I did. Of course, it was hysteria, panic. There was nothing left to save. All over! Finished! The end!
R. W. Fassbinder
22/03/09 Bristol, with Vase and the Madrigals 10/04/09 Norwich, with Internet forever 13/04/09 Edinburgh, with Withered Hand 17/04/09 London, with the light sleepers and the Madrigals 25/04/09 Madrid for Abril No tan Cruel festival
Series Two Records released a new 9 CD compilation album. CLICK HERE FOR Full Track list and Purchasing information for the January 2009 compilations by Series Two Records The compilation 9 CD set features 204 artists and 700 minutes of music. The Compilations feature artists from all over the world including bands from (13) states of the USA, Canada, Australia, Spain, United Kingdom, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, France,Italy, Japan, Germany, New Zealand, Ireland, Croatia, Indonesia, Singapore, Poland, Philippines, Brazil, Belgium, Switzerland, and Israel.
Hej min ven, og tak for add :)
Klubklub i morgen!
LIVE:
Håkan Lidbo (se)
Ost & Kjex (no)
James Ausfahrt (se)
DJ's:
Knivflickan (se)
Kliin (se)
Supertroels
Djuna Barnes
Toketronic
Mads Elsöe
Peter Fyllgraf
Dirty Dog
VJ:
Samesame
I morgen, fredag d. 15. februar kl. 22-05 på Stengade 30. Se mere på Klubklub.dk og Klubklub @ myspace. Vi ses!
Psssst; der er gratis drinks fra kl. 22...
Online Now!
