Joy Division, Tom Waits, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Hot Chip, Gogol Bordello, The Clash, Portishead, Peter Gabriel, Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Skinny Puppy, Belle and Sebastian, Devo, They Might Be Giants, Ween, Radiohead, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Hole, Legendary Pink Dots, Boss Hog
Movies
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Television
Books
Heroes
Tom Waits, Peter Gabriel, e.m. Cioran, Sarte, Kafka, Anne Sexton
p1ece5's Details
Status:
Single
Zodiac Sign:
Leo
p1ece5 is without words Posted at 8:13 PM Dec 13, 2008 view more
About me: I'm a 39 year old with Multiple Personality Disorder. To date we have found 27 alters; although my therapist might have a more accurate number than me. Always leave the host out on these matters, you know what i am saying. I'm on disability due to life and it's misadventures...
Who I'd like to meet: Other multiples, people who just can't seem to get out of bed due to the crush of depression. (I know you're out there.) People with a painful past that they are trying to overcome. People who had life deal them a lousy hand and are messed up now; too messed up to deal with daily life. If it wasn't for my roommate, i think i'd be an ex-smoker; having to leave the house like that, please. "Unibrainers" (people who only have one person, no alters, ie: normal people) who are curious as to what Multiple Personality is like and all about.
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QUOTES
A loaded gun won't set you free, so you say. -- Joy Division
The Cruel wind that bows down to our lunacy -- Joy Division
We knocked on the door of hell's darker chamber, Pushed to the limit we dragged ourselves in, Watched from the wings as the scenes were replaying, We saw ourselves now as we never have seen, Portrayal of the trama and degeneration, the sorrows we suffered and never were free. -- Joy Division
Weary inside, now our hearts lost forever,
Can't replace the fear or the thrill of the chase -- Joy Division
Soulless and bent on destruction. -- Joy Division
Existence, well what does it matter, i exist on the best terms i can, The past is now part of my future, The present is well out of hand, Heart and soul, one will burn.
Mother i tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that i can, I'm ashamed of the things i've been put thru, I'm ashamed of the person i am. -- Joy Division
Is this the gift that i wanted to give, Forgive and forget what they teach. -- Joy Division
If I remain, how will I know? -- Portishead
If I can't be my own, I'd be better dead. -- Alice in Chains
This is the crisis i knew had to come, destroying the balance I kept. -- Joy Division
Many have come to such a small crossroad -- Anne Sexton
. . . they think i am me . . . -- Anne Sexton
I wasn't born so much as i fell out, nobody seemed to notice me. -- The Clash
. . . if you want to keep a secret you must also hide it from yourself -- George Orwell - 1984
I like watching the puddles gather rain. -- Blind Melon
Flashbacks coming every night; don't tell me everything's alright. -- Peter Gabriel
Live or die, but don't poison everything --
Nerve freefall safely burried out behind a face -- Skinny Puppy
I'll live for you all, but i'll die alone -- Legendary Pink Dots
Inconsequential things occur alarms are triggered memories stir -- Peter Gabriel
To kill yourself is, thereby, to compete with death, to prove that you can do better than death ... to redeem youself in your own eyes. You are reassured, you thus convince yourself that you are not the worst, that you deserve some respect. You tell yourself: up to now, incapable of taking any initiative, i have no self-esteem; now everything is changed: destroying myself, i thereby destroy all reasons that i had to despise myself, i regain confidence, i am someone forever . . . -- Cioran
CIORAN QUOTES
There ae nights when the future cancels out, when only one of all it's moments subsists, the one we shall choose in order to exist no longer.
A hope of dying beyond death.
The mind advances only if it has the patience to go in circles, in other words, to deepen.
Suffering makes you live time in detail, moment after moment. Which is to say that it exists for you: over the others, the ones who don't suffer, time flows; so that they don't live in time, in fact, they never have
What they ask you for is actions, proofs, works, and all you can produce are transformed tears.
Those moments when it seems impossible for us ever to disappear, when life and death lose all reality, when neither one nor the other can touch us yet . . .
Those moments when you want to be absolutely alone because you're sure that, face to face with yourself, you will be able to discover rare, unique, unheard-of-truths- then disappointment and thereafter bitterness, when you find that once this solitude is achieved at last, nothing comes out, nothing could come . . .
The quantity of exhaustion that rests in my brain!
Death is the aroma of existence. Death alone lends savor to the moments, alone combats their insipidity. We owe death almost everything. This debt of recognition which we now and then consent to pay is what is most comforting her on earth.
I die; in practice, I am lacerated by every anxiety which opens an abyss between life and death.
Tired of being myself-yet I keep praying the gods to restore me to myself.
We make martyrs of ourselves, we create, by torments, a "conscience"; and then, we realize with horror that we can never get rid of it again.
It is a long road from the epic to the diary.
We would not be interested in human beings if we did not have the hope of someday meeting someone worse off than ourselves.
depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous
PETER PAN COMPLEX DEFINED:
avoids responsibilities, people tell them they are childish and need to grow up, would rather live in their head than the real world, wants success to just happen to them, focuses on fantasies more than reality, believes they deserve to have whatever they want, life lacks direction, never know what to do next, does dumb things frequently, inconsistent performance, lazy, slacker, does the minimum to get by, does things without thinking, does not feel they have any reason to accomplish anything, tend to ignore or put off problems, believes fun is the most important thing in life, most people think they are crazy, forgets scheduled appointments, more past than future, gets attention through negative behavior
but,but,but, Peter Pan is the wild child archetype in all of us. If we force him to be anything but who he is, we become methodical, robotic adults, who never grin, lack all spontanaity, and can't possibly see the value in friendship, loyalty, and the adventurous aspect in anything. We need a piece of this energy alive and well inside of us, or we'll die never knowing what life is and can be. What's more, you taught all of that to me. And I will be eternally grateful that you did.
