I won't mince words. I miss you. Like a monkey misses his bottle of Whiskey, I need you.
It has been far too long since I've felt the tickle of your beard in areas of my body, I didn't even know had feeling still left in them!
Please respond to my telegraphs, I've hired men that remind me of you. At current count, I've accidentally killed 7, and lost 15 of them in the jungle surrounding my villa!
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