My interests are my boys hands down, I love spending time with them, my husband and my closest friends. Another interest is this page that is dedicated in my sons memory. My most important goal with this page is to spread the word about SIDS..as I knew nothing about it..I want all to be aware of the dangers and to know this is a very real thing. SIDS awareness isn't something that is put out there just to scare new or experienced parents..its put out there to SAVE the LIVES of our precious sons and daughters, those that are closest to our hearts and most important in our lives. Losing a child leaves a hole in your heart, body, mind and soul that I could never ever explain in words..and I pray that this page will help spread that awareness and save lives. Thank you so much for being a part of Corbans memory.
"Many more children die of SIDS in a year than all who die of cancer, heart disease, pneumonia, child abuse, AIDS, cystic fibrosis and muscular dystrophy combined..."
Music
Movies
Television
more information about SIDS.......
American SIDS Institute .. www.sids.org
Information on SIDS... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome
Books
Right now I have been decicated to learning more about Jesus. I was never raised going to church. But believe that its is an important part of life to learn and follow what the bible tells us and to have a strong faith. All of this has opened my eyes so much to this part of life.
Heroes
My heros are all the parents out there that have survived this horrible reality and have continued on with their life staying strong in their faith and teaching others to do the same.
Welcome to Corbans memorial page. I am Corbans mommy. Corban was born a healthly beautiful lil boy on Jan 15th, 2008. He has two very proud big bothers Dominic (5) and Zander(4) along with his very proud mommy and daddy. We were all so over joyed to have Corban added to our family. Corban was a wonderful lil man and nicked named "lil fat boy" because he gained weight so quickly after he was born. He was a very serious lil boy and would smile but man did you have to work for it! :) He loved taking a bath but hated it when you took him out! He loved to study the faces of those that held him. He always wanted to be held. He was not content unless he was being held 90% of the time. Which was fine considering he had LOTS of vistors on a regular basis! Everyone wanted to hold him and love him. When no one was there..he was a permenat fixture in mommys left arm. I learned to do SO much one handed :)
I will never forget the night of April 4th, 2008. We again had vistors..it was Corbans Great Aunt. She loved him so much. That night we have pictures of Corban and his big brother Dominic sitting on daddys chair and big brother Dom trying to teach him bad habits already =)! Then we put him in his swing and his Aunt was trying to talk to him..but he would only look at me..even when I tried to switch sides to get him to look at her he would follow me and just stare. That was the first time I realized that he really did recognize his mommy :)Later after everyone left..I worked for a smile and I got one..a wonderfully big open mouth smile. It was so precious and I will never forget that smile.
We all miss him and love him so very much His memory will continue to live in the hearts of those he touched forever.
On the Morning of April 5th I found Corban blue and lifeless in his crib. It was and is still the most devastating thing that has ever happen to our family. Its an image that is forever burned in not only my memory but also my husbands who gave lil Corban CPR until the paramedics arrived, and in the memories of my two older sons who stood by and watched as everyone tried so hard to bring back their baby brother.
About 30 minutes after they had brought Corban out to the ambulance to work on him, a very nice warm hearted man from the Rockford ambulance came up to me and through his tears started to say he was sorry and that they had done everything they could but that our precious Corban was gone. I had a range of emotion inside me at that very moment and what came out was anger and tears.. I yelled at him and told him that he couldn't give up on my son, that he had to try something else. His tears continued to flow with mine as he promised me that there was nothing else he could do. I didn't want to believe it, it wasn't possible in my mind. This was my baby, my son, I am his mom, there is nothing a mother can't fix when it comes to her baby. I felt so helpless, disappointed, angry, and a bunch more all at the sametime. This nice man from the Rockford ambulance eventually was gone..and I never did get the chance to tell him I was sorry for the things that flew out of my mouth at him that morning.
Looking back I know he would have done ALL he could and more to bring Corban back. But in that moment in time..as a mother I was angry and all I wanted was my son..it was completely UNBELIEVEABLE that they weren't bringing him back in. I asked to hold him and they told me that I couldn't until the M.E. arrived..it took HOURS for him to get there, meanwhile my precious son is laying in an ambulance parked in front of my home and I couldn't even be with him. When the M.E. finally arrived I begged him to let me hold my son. He told me that I couldn't hold him but that I could see him. When I walked up to my son, he was blue, I kissed his forehead, I remember he was freezing, there was a tube in his mouth. It didn't even look like my precious baby boy. After spending a few minutes with my son they wisked him away in a black van and my husband and I walked into a home that felt very empty and so cold.
My heart broke each and everytime I walked down the hall past his room. Each morning for weeks I woke up and ran in there praying that it was all just a horrible dream...at times even thinking I heard him cry...but each morning when I arrived in his room the crib was still empty. An empty crib..something that just months before made me smile as I touched my stomach anticipating his arrival, now just left me feeling alone and cheated. At that moment in time I was angry at God himself, to me he sliently stole my Precious baby Corban from me with no warning and for a reason to this day I dont' understand. I have since come to understand that there is a reason, a reason I dont' yet understand and more than likely am not meant to understand. I know he has a plan for my son and I know my son is in the most glorious place he could ever be in besides my arms. But each and every day we miss him just as much as we did that morning..and the hole that is left in our hearts, souls, bodies and minds is still just as deep and open as it was the morning of April 5th when I picked my son up out of his crib.
The next time we seen our son was at the funeral home, laying in a cradle looking NOTHING like our precious Corban, but even though he didn't look the same I still sat there with him, my husband and my in-laws waiting for him to wake up and cry for me, waiting for him to come back to me. I still at that moment wasn't going to accept the fact that he was gone. When my husband told me it was time to leave..I couldnt', I didnt' want to leave him there, this is my son, I want to take him home where he belongs! The next day I sat threw the services, barely hearing what was going on, until my four year old begged our pastor to let him speak about his brother, it was the most precious thing my four year old has ever done. He got up there and talked about his baby brother. He told everyone that all he did was "cry, eat and poop". That he couldn't do anything else cause he was just a tiny baby. What an amazing son we had right in front of us..with such courage to get up there and talk in front of so many people about his baby brother, something I know has cut him so deeply and effected him daily. For the first time in days my heart had been warmed, by my sons kindness and courage what a brave little man.
After all the tests had been run, blood tests, spinal tap, organ tissue samples and everything else he was found to be a very healthly little boy with no reason for his death and it was ruled as SIDS. An answer to me that wasn't acceptable..to me it meant "I don't know". On top of the fact that I knew NOTHING about SIDS! I started looking up everything I could get my hands on, reading for hours on end trying to make sense of it. And I continue to do this just about everynight and still no answers. I don't know when or if it will get better..all I know and understand at this point is that I NEVER want anyone to have to realize the pain that myself, my husband and my 4 and 5 year old live each and everyday. That is why this page is so important to me and why I had to create it and why I spend each night inviting as many as I can to his page, in hopes that they will learn from my loss and do everything in their power to educate themselves in hopes of preventing this horrible reality in their own lives. I never want ANYONE to have to live threw this pain..losing a child is even more life changing than having a child and something I hope no one reading this page will ever have to experience.
I encourge those that are reading this that aren't on Corbans friends list to add him, just by having his page on your friends list you too are helping to spread awareness about SIDS and save lives, which means more to me than any of you could imagine.
One hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, how big my house was, or what kind of car I drove. But the world may be a little better, because I made a point to be important in the life of my children Make a memory with your children, Spend some time to show you care; Toys and trinkets can't replace those Precious moments that you share. Money doesn't buy real pleasure, It doesn't matter where you live; Children need your own attention, Something only you can give. Childhood's days pass all too quickly, Happy memories all too few; Plan to do that special something, Take the time to go or do. Make a memory with your children, Take the time in busy days; Have some fun while they are growing, Show your love in gentle ways.
Who I'd like to meet:
Since the morning of April 5th, 2008 I have been researching all I can about SIDS. Even after months of searching and reading just about everything I can get my hands on I still am left with no answers as to why my son is no longer with us.
Its hard to know that there was nothing wrong with your baby and yet they are not in your arms. Because of this I have created this page in his memory, to spread the word about SIDS awareness and to also reach out to others that have also had to face this horrible reality.
I hope to meet other families that have gone threw this and connect with them in hopes that all of us can find peace and happiness once again and trust in the fact that Jesus now holds our precious sons and daughters safely in his arms.
Obit for Corban..my precious baby boy......
Corban David Brown, two months twenty days old, a gift devoted to God on Saturday, April 5, 2008, the precious and dearly loved son of Mike and Amy Brown now rests peacefully in the arms of Jesus. In addition to his parents who dearly loved him, he is survived by his brothers, Dominic Brown and Zander Brown; his grandparents, David and Cynthia Brown, and Henry and Joanna Seaben; great-grandparents, Clyde Brown, Henry and Katie Seaben; and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. He was preceded in death by his great-grandmother, Leveria Brown; his great-grandparents, Wesley and Sandra Merritt; and his uncle, Johnathan David Brown. The Memorial service for Corban will be Thursday at 7 p.m. at the The Spring's Free Methodist Church of Cedar Springs with Pastor Barry Briggs officiating. Family and friends may meet with Corban's family from 6 until 7 p.m. at the church on Thursday.
Published on 4/8/2008
hi hun its been a long time since i lost my lil girl to sids she pass away may 2007. i miss her so much but god needed her . so i know what you are going trew. just remember the time you had with him . god bless you and your family
HE ARRIVED THIS MORNING, WE HAD PRAYER; SPENT SOME TIME JUST TALKING, AND HE HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A BAD MORNING. THEN, HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE.
When He gets to your PC, escort Him to the next stop. Please don't allow Him to sleep on your PC. The message He is carrying is very important and needs to go round. May God bless you as you do this- AMEN.
Walking for Jesus! Say a prayer, and then pass Him on to bless others. Our assignment is to love and spread the gospel throughout the world. Have a blessed day and touch somebody's life today! I just did. He's walking around the world - via e-mail!! Pass it on! So He can get there ...
