I am Irish. I am red-headed. I have freckles. My eyes are hazel. I love to ride horses and horsepower. I hunt my bull dogs and keep my P90 close and my enemies closer. I have given birth to 5 human beings. I have been stabbed in the back by people closest to me. I despise Bush and I am voting for TOBY KEITH! I believe Country music is good for your soul. I brush my teeth twice a day. I always wipe front to back. I love with all my heart. I take things too personally. I believe in the Lord. I saw 15 UFOS this month. (no shit really) I look at my tissue after I blow my nose. I like my pumpkin pie cold. Pulsating shower heads feel incredible. I know that I will never give birth to a beautiful baby girl. I drive a Ford F-150. I do my drinkin from a dixie cup. I will rock your world between the sheets. Purple is my favorite color. I eat my noodles with a spoon. I laugh at stupid jokes. I HATE KRISTI POWERS. her voice annoys me. I like to stand by a fire in the winter. I blow things up twice a year in the name of scaring birds. When the phone rings I cringe. I leave mail in the mailbox and hope it all evntually goes away. (it never does) I got my ass beat once by FOUR bull dykes. I've spent the night in a drunk tank. I have partied like a ROCK STAR~!! I don't like my brownies warm. I believe in corporal punishment. I drive too fast sometimes. I think Pulp Fiction was the best movie ever made. I wish I had a lortab right now.........
Who I'd like to meet:
CHUCK NORRIS, JON BON JOVI, TOBY KEITH BAAABBBY! OSAMA BIN LADEN (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS), THE PERSON WHO INVENTED TOILET PAPER, THIS "TOM" GUY ON MYSPACE, KRISTI POWERS (SO I CAN PUNCH HER IN THE FACE) LITTLE GREEN MEN, THE PERSON WHO PRINTS MONEY, JERRY SPRINGER, THE HALF DUDE ON JERRY SPRINGER, CAPTAIN SPAULDING, NEIL ARMSTRONG (SO I CAN CALL HIM A LIAR),HOMER SIMPSON, SANTA CLAUS, BARACK OBAMA (SO I CAN TELL HIM THAT HES NOT FUCKING AFRICAN AMERICAN!! YOUR MUSLIM YOU FRIGGIN MORON!), UMA THURMAN, JOHN TRAVOLTA, DONALD TRUMP,KERMIT THE FROG,GENERAL ROBERT E. LEE, UNDERDOG, DREW BARRYMORE, TOM GREEN,DOUG HEFFERNEN, WIZARD OF OZ, DID I MENTION TOBY KEITH?, THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER THAT STOLE MY SONS DIRTBIKE (Y I AWTTA....!!) THE GEICO LIZARD, BRITTANY SPEARS, (I WANT HER ACCENT!) MY KIDS TEACHER, (MAYBE I SHOULD GET MORE INVOLVED?) ELIJAH WOOD, STEWIE, SIMON COWELL, SUPERMAN, AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT... MY ALMIGHTY MAKER
HEY GURLY, WAZZ UP, NOT ON MUCH ANYMORE?? U AIN'T FEELIN GOOD ENOUGH?? WELL COMIN DOWN NEXT WKEND.. U KNOW IT'S OUR B.D. N EVERYTHIN!! GET BACK AT ME!! LOVE YA!! LORI
R WE HAVIN ANOTHER B.D. PARTY THIS YEAR?? BIG 45YRS.THIS YR. DAMN I'M GETTIN OLD,LOL!!! DONT FEEL IT THOUGH!! N GOOD ABOUT OTHER THINGY!! GIVE ME A SHOUT...
I GOT INVITED NY MY DADS WIFE, GUESS THEY GOT SEASON TIX. I WOULD OF RATHER GONE THIS WKEND..THE STEELERS R GONNA B THERE. THOUGHT U WERE A BUCS FAN?? LOL!! C YA THIS WKEND!!
....
