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Crash Mansion is a 350 person capacity indie rock venue on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. We put on concerts and private events and showcases and sometimes we do mini pony exhibitions. Okay, we don't really do private events. but the mini pony exhibitions. Man, those get out of hand. A little advice for those of you who are coming to any of our mini pony shows: do not taunt a mini-pony by repeatedly offering it an apple and pulling it away at the last second. The second time I did that, it took three weeks for me to be able to stand on my own power. The fourth time though, man did I do something.

But in all seriousness, we're here to provide to you, our loving audience, the best in independent, unsigned rock AND roll music (we do not discriminate against Roll despite implications from various hoodlums). What kind of Rock'n'Roll you ask? Well we've got The Moondoggies, Hymns, Starfucker, MGMT, Coheed and Cambria, Norah Jones, Ponderosa, The Rosewood Thieves, Ninjasonik, The Dig, April Smith and The Great Picture Show, The Wild Yaks, The So So Glos.

Oh and also, the neatest thing we've got going for us is thanks to our wonderful friends at The Fearless Music TV Program (that's the formal title I believe, you can just called it Fearless Music). You can catch it Saturday Nights, 12:30 in the AM (that means apple muffins, right?). And if you play here, there is potential that your band could be featured, in full color, on Fearless Music. On TV and everything! Just like Ed Sullivan or Charles Nelson Reilly!

Now to prove we're not some stuffy, east coast, elitist, Ivy League concert venue with the sweater vest and the pipe and the loafers I'm gonna sit down and "rap" with you guys about the basics.

Q&A Sesh
MISSOULA FALLS!
Hey Carl, Long time listener, first time caller. I'm in a fuzzy, lo-fi psych pop band who releases everything on tapes. How can I play at Crash Mansion?
Kingsford, Bushwick.

That's a good question, Kingsford. To submit to Crash Mansion, email your myspace page/EPK/website to stephanie@crashmansion.com. We do not take submissions over the phone. We do not take submissions through Myspace. We only take submissions through email.

Dear Penthouse Forum,
I would like to come to one of your fine shows. I would also like to bring three nineteen year olds. Do I have to go through the trouble of secreting them upon my person or can they just come in like normal people do?
Sparky Alexander
Hell, Michigan

Well, all of our shows tend to be 21+ meaning that unless they are very small, they will be ID'ed and exposed for what they are: horrible people. Or underage. Depending on your view of things, those two things are synonymous. There are various 18+ shows drizzled about our calendar like hot fudge on an aptly named hot fudge sundae. That said, we will clearly mark which shows are 18+, but assume that if we don't mention the age requirement that it is 21+.

Hello,
This is Leon Sumbitches, real name Brian Wheat (as I will prove later). My uncle Mengis Adoso, as you have heard, is involved to the ongoing ties between the decommissioned American embassy in Switzerland and my home of Mombasa. At stake, and needing financial asylum, is our family fortune (made largely in oil). Your commission will be 20% of held funds. We need your contact by no later than this evening. To call this a small matter would be rediculous.

Thanks for the email Mr. Sumbitches. This sounds really familiar but anyways, if you want to discuss this matter further you are more than welcome to call us at the Crash Mansion office at (212) 982 0740.

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