I'm not a professor of anything; that's why I misspelled the word. Also because it's a pun, but it's a pretty damn obscure one.

Yesterday I found an empty pickle jar in the refrigerator. It was lidless and had been rinsed out. My recycle bin is right next to my refrigerator...I got distracted. Hence the "Absentminded" part. (That's still not as bad as the time I noticed that the milk was in the sink. Huh, I said, and went to put it in the refrigerator, where I found the dirty dishes from lunch.)

If you write to me and we're not Friends, make sure your profile isn't set to accept messages from friends only, because if it is I can't respond. I just got a message from someone who wanted my help, and I was willing to give it, but I can't respond to the message!

I'm a kind-hearted yet skeptical person. I have a low tolerance for BS of any kind. Also cruelty is a major angry-maker for me. I'm in pretty good shape for a guy my age. That really is a picture of me - and so are all the others.

I'm a pretty nice guy, and usually pretty even-tempered, but sometimes I get kind of:

Know what I mean?

My friend Zeris edited my profile. It now looks better than it ever has before.

The Quote Base

Some of my favorite quotes. There will be more as time goes on...

Homo Sum: humani nil a me alienum puto.

(I am human, and nothing human is foreign to me.)
—Tarentius ("Terence")

Just because you're on their side
doesn't mean they're on your side.

—Teresa Nielsen Hayden

You're trying to ignore something that doesn't exist.
That sounds easy, but it's actually quite a Zen exercise.

—Perfesser Christopher

New Orleans basks in the warm afterglow of a faith-based levee system.

—"The Corpuscle"

Three things in human life are important.
The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
The third is to be kind.

—Henry James

Be a first-rate version of yourself,
Not a second-rate version of someone else.

—Liza Minelli, quoting her mother

Person will continue to actionverb the buzzwords
that are marketingspeak our suittalk.

—one of my coworkers, characterizing
a company broadcast email

Nahh, skeptical? Go on!

—Cheryl Glaser

You can't just go being randomly nice to people! It's not right!

—Edeus

Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities.

—Voltaire

Calling Ann Coulter 'a bit of a nutbar' is rather like
calling Hurricane Katrina 'a spot of rough weather'.

—Fragano Ledgister

I don't know what a gay Republican is, actually.
I guess they beat themselves up in parking lots.

—Paula Poundstone

Guilt is the tragic delusion of culpability
without the comic relief of sin.

—Brooke McEldowney

Intelligent, creative people with ethics.

People who message me before adding me, or not long after. In fact, from now on I'm just going to Deny adds from people who add me without ever talking to me.

People who are smart enough to know that they won't die or have relationship difficulties, or even save the little kid with cancer if they repost one of those stupidass bulletins.

Sigh. I hate doing this, but I have to:

No friend whores. I defriend people who I get whoring bulletins from. Also, if you're a total fucktard, I don't want to know you. Here's an essay I wrote on (Not) Being a Fucktard, if you're not sure you understand what I mean.

I'm not interested in meeting people who only want me for sex.