Sorrow and pity have long been the wellsprings of any true pure musical form. The fact that Cuckold wallow in these juices like pre-barbecued pigs in their own sauces, ready and willin' to take a bite outta their own asses to further their cause, probably makes them one of the, well...sincerest bunch of pig fuckers to come down the pike in quite some time.
They're at least the smartest trio of ignorant drunkards to pick up instruments that this writer has ever met (At least that's what they gassed into my lawn last week) and back it up with a swaggering noise ridden groove that'll unlock the gates of heaven and hell.
Speakin' of heaven. They keep the Lord right close in the form of guitar player/singer/God's vessel Mike Walker. He's an ordained minister and does his darndest to work some scripture into all those songs about fuckin' and get fucked over. Mike's stern country holler wrestles ceaselessly against the Magdelene thighs of his guitar work. In the end, all that matters is Mikey's will is done.
While we're on the subject of will...God willing, drummer Jake Wilson can keep his ass outta jail long enough to keep pounding those thunderous skins. As skilled at drinking and driving as he is at anchoring Cuckold, Jake is not a man to be trifled with by any means.
And finally, there's Cuckold's bass player Andrew "Gee, your pretty" Wainio. Despite being the "sophisticate" of the band, his primal thump apparently applies as much in the bedroom as it does on stage. No matter where or how he lays it down, it's heard for miles.
But these are merely the individuals that make up Cuckold. The true creature here is the combination. Together these boys churn out the bluesiest butter ever to run down an old whore's thighs. Cuckold is a butt shakin' ear rakin' good time.
-Lyle Wescott
Cuckold
Primordial ooze: One hundred and sixty-nine years after the Toledo War resulted in the UP being ceded to Michigan, and left Toledo to Ohio, Detroit gets its own hard-boiled unsettling rock 'n' roll settlement in the outfit Cuckold. Yooper-born, 313-bitten Detroiters Mike Walker (ex-Bogue, Detroit City Council, Gravitar on guitar) and Andy Wainio (ex-Hairwash, bass) throw down with Glass City transplant Jake Wilson (ex-Mule, drums).
Why you should really care: Because desperation is serious fucking business; and the rumbling, howling Reverend Walker stomps through the graveyard blues with a swagger that'll rip you up like Michigan Avenue. It'll tear up the muffler on that uninsured '74 LTD you just barely keep running. Yeah.
The single: "Baby" has the melody and gut-punch to make sweat-soaked sheets swing like a hammer.
Peer-to-peer: Laughing Hyenas, Motorhead, Mudhoney and Big Black
-Chris Handyside, Metro Times
And if you're still not getting it, See Cuckold Here. This is the real deal, children, 'rhoids 'n all.
Ced n Teri LIVE on stage! “A Very Ced n Teri Xmas” is playing at Planet Ant Theatre weekends throughout December. This multi-media stage version will feature many of the other zany characters and TV spoofs from the web show and several new ones. Also in the tradition of the online version, there are several musical guests.
8:00pm Fridays and Saturdays December 5 - December 27 2pm Matinee: Sunday, December 21 for reservations call: 313.365. 4948
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