Johnny Logan

About me:

6 billion people in in this world. Sometimes I wonder why I'm one of them. Thank you to my myspace friends that keep up with my posts(you know who you are). I really love you. Criticisms are just as welcome as positive blog comments. Thank you to those that drop by out of curiosity but really don't see something that interests you. I can understand that. I have a dial-up connection & a small hard drive so if you have alot of video/and or mp3's etc. on your page, I will have problems viewing it. Sorry 'bout that, call AT&T. I used to think that it was enough just to maintain personal integrity (treating people with respect,not stealing, lying,etc.), but without "love" it doesn't mean much. I don't mean getting love. Love is something you give. Life is for sharing. If you can't do that, what good is it? I was an insecure young person. Sometimes it hurt so much that I put my face in the dirt and cried to God so hard that I'm amazed that I didn't die or go looney. At some point,probably because too many people too many times said something about me looking like John Lennon, and there being too many wierd coincedence/similarity kind of things along with that. I really am reluctant to talk about that (unless you're just really curious enough to ask). I'm not advertizing it or trying to get attention, just being honest about myself. OK? I gained too much self confidence for my lack of knowing how to get anywhere with it. As far as musical talent I'm nowhere near what John was but I feel I knew him well. I like to sing John's songs, Beatles & solo. My freinds say I do it really well. When I had a working piano I found to my amazement that I could play along with certain pieces but can't say how I knew how to do it. It's like I could feel a sort of map along the keyboard and just knew where to put my fingers. I could cross my hands while playing and one hand doing what the other hand was doing. Is that good? But I'm no Bach or Beethovan. Not being satisfied with working for peanuts doing something that was not satisfying to my intellect & abilities I became depressed. My depression is actually an escape from my anger, which was great. I feel much too creative in my own interests to be happy being a slave to a time clock. I would like to write a book someday. I have so many ideas in my head for other type of artistic projects too but it seems there is always something spoiling my attitude and little of it sees the dawn of creation. I think being alone is the problem here. I don't feel lonely really. It's no sort of sadness at all like that. It's just that when nobody is there nothing gets done. I heard May Pang say that about Lennon once and have always wondered exactly what she meant and why she said it. I see so many that recognized the talents they had and were able to achieve a successfull career and therefore able also to be able to give more than if they were not succsessful. I never learned how to make that transition. Every day I feel the pain of feeling like the worlds greatest underachiever. Maybe I should have been a teacher. I feel a natural ability to teach acting and musical expression. Coach would be the more accurate word. I can't read music but I can coach the expression of a natural talent that is just beginning to develop it. I feel I can do that well. Circumstance and environment affect me greatly. I'm an affectual person. Sometimes the only thing I'm interested in is the PC & internet because I'm by myself. If it is not intersting to me or doesn't have to be done I have a difficult time making myself do it. I need a woman (or simply someone elses presence)to inspire things like keeping the house cleaned,etc. If I were married to a good woman she sure wouldn't be treated like a slave but you can bet I would work like a dog (or superman) at home. I like giving of myself and don't like alot of gifts if I can't give back. Quid pro quo. I'm a good hearted person (when it counts) and am glad to be a friend to or help anyone, except the despicable and the cold hearted. Life is for sharing. If I can't give to people from my abilities or from my possessions then.... But as the song sais, "And while I can think, while I can talk While I can stand, while I can walk While I can dream, please let my dream come true, right now". After losing a house in Willis,Tx I ran away to Sawyer,Ok. near my hometown Hugo,Ok. where my Dad lived as well as a host of cousins. I bought a run down house there for the security of owning a home but feel I am getting nowhere. That will change. I'm getting out of debt and should be able soon to fix my broken piano and get back to playing it. Not that I expect that will make a living for me(LOL) but playing it keeps me from getting so dull & depressed.I used to play it so long that I would go to sleep and into a dreamworld and wake up still playing. I miss my friends in Willis and the church that a friend started (Grace International) where I had the most joy I could ever imagine being in the service of God. Some of you may not understand that but it is an altered state and really cool things happen. It's not an illusion or dream. To all my "new" freinds here: Thank you very much and if you have nothing better to do than browse my blogs be sure and see my "older" ones. I got a few neat poems there. God bless you everyone.