What the Dealy

Alright stop, collaborate and listen... I'm a living stereotype. Charismatic, successful, Corp. citizen with a BMW in the driveway. No kids, no significant others, no emotional baggage. I'm repulsed by drama and I rarely act out of emotion. My resume is padded. I'm told I'm hard to read, and even more difficult to get along with. I call my mom at least three times a day, except on Sundays. I like very sticky hair gel. I have many different colognes, but will throw one away when one of my friends buys the same. I have lots of heroes / mentors. I once owned a pope necklace. I eat waffles straight from the freezer, and I'll convince you to do the same. I own and wear a burgandy velvet jacket. I have 4 pairs of Elvis sunglasses and a giant belt buckle that says 'Bad Ass.' I appreciate whimsy and material ridiculousness. I have a passion for pointlessnes. My eyes glaze over at stores I like. Everyone has weaknesses. I'm own a million favors.