Danny Purple

"Long ago there were these two awful towns."--- "Sodom, named after Sodomy, and Gramora, which was named after weirder moves."--- "Now, everyone who lived in Sodom and Gramora had crazy sex with everyone, and just about everything."--- "Flora, fona, fire, they had sex with rocks painted to look like God's face. Now most of them couldn't even get off with out eating filth."--- "Caca was very popular."--- "It was almost as popular as the grave yard."--- "It was a horrible place... Then after a while, God heard the rumors, so he disguised a couple of angels as sexy dudes."--- "Then sent them down to see if the place qualified for annihilation."--- "I Don't know if you've seen an un disguised angel, but trust me, they're horrifying. Anyway, right off the bat the angels met an awesome little gate keeper named 'Lot'." --- "He was an excitable happy dude who capered and sang and cohersed them into his house, and strangely, he didn't want to screw them or anything weird."--- " He only wanted to feed them koshered treats and give them foot baths and all the stuff that God was really into back then. The angels ate Lot's finest and levend bread and what ever goes with that. But they then started hearing grinding and moaning outside of Lot's hut."--- "A mob gathered and they were demanding sex with Lot's visitors."--- "Lot went out side with his de-sexing stick and waved it around most un sexily"--- "Lot said 'No one can fuck my strange guests, how ever I have 2 beautiful virgin daughters. Do onto them what ever you want. Really. What ever you can think of, just please go nuts."--- "The throbbing mob didn't care about the daughters who probably not even virgins."--- "Next, the angels said that God was going to turn the towns and all the towns people into exactly what they've always wanted."--- "A fucked to death burning pile of caca."--- "The angels went on to say, ' Take your family, and flee from the city. And what ever you do, don't look back! I don't know, that's how God wants it. I don't know why, dude, just don't look back."--- "So Lot and his family got together their bowls and furrs and towels and leather peices and posters of Abraham and important rocks and sheep and all the other precious valuables."--- "Just after they left the city, they heard all sorts of terrible noise and felt heavy heat on their backs. They ran like goats on fire! Lot's wife stopped concentrating for one second, just for one freaking second she let her guard down and turned around and glanced at the towering blaze. And at one half of a split fucking second she turned into a pillar of salt. Lot and his kids couldn't even turn around to look at her, or who knows what pillar of spices they'd turn into."--- "Long story short, Lot and his daughters moved into the near by mountains, and I'm not even going to touch how they got a new tribe started."--- "Genesis 19. Total fucking insanity."---