i'm not from the states. The location keeps reverting back somehow to "US"
i watch the world go by... i see a sad world. i see choices made because that's how things are supposed to be. or because that's how things have been for a while. then i have to stop myself. i have to stop myself and remember that i cannot have these thoughts. i'm an opmitist. i have to shine. i have to be a beacon. i have to set the example of change. i have to show the path of passion. be the change you want to see in the world, right?
but how can i? when i'm the one who's now feeling more and more misunderstood and frustrated? when the last bursts of passion have flown out of me? i have to stop myself again. i can't be that person. i can't be less than what i can be....
i watch the world, and i know i don't wanna be this, and i know i don't wanna be that. let them all follow the path of "reason", i say.... but i don't wanna be that... i can let them be. and create my own reality. i want freedom... i want to thrive upon new ideas... i want to feast my eyes on beauty. i want to love unconditionally. i want my cells to pulse with pure bliss. but why can't i feel those anymore?
i've read about and seen the laws of attraction at work. why can't i see to use them now? i want to see and feel more hope around me. more love. more acts of kindness. more selflessness. more joy. more honesty. more wisdom. more openness. more open-mindedness. but i only seem to manage to catch glimpses of those. the rest is ugly.
i make a really bad beacon. energy levels are running low. the light is dimming out... maybe i just need to get new batteries.
Every night I empty my heart, but by morning it's full again
Slow droplets of you seep in through the night's soft caress
At dawn I overflow with thoughts of us
An aching pleasure that gives me no respite
Love cannot be contained
The neat packaging of desire splits asunder
Spilling crimson through my days
Long, languishing days that are now bruised tender with yearning
Spent searching for a fingerprint, a scent, a breath you left behind.
- "I can't think straight" movie