Jacqueline Scout Boone (Scout) born 5/15/2008 8:15am, Ethan Quinn Vasquez (my gorgeous first born and Scout's 5yr old older brother), Richard Ray Boone (53yr old proud father of Scout), and me Debbie LoJacono-Vasquez (the 42yr old tired but very happy mommy). The new world of a new mom, second time around - what a ride. I love my new life.
wondergirl and the new world (1-2-3 superhero friends forever)
Debbie LoJacono-Vasquez's (DebV-orah's) Hobbies and Interests:
Comedy (especially deadpan - dry stuff or silly child like sophmoric stuff, but NOT anything slapstickish or too mean/angry/cruel), art, philosophy, theoretical physics, metaphysics, world religions, history, science, technology, biomedical research, sociology, psychology, neuropsychology, biocybernetics, spirituality, Kabbalah, eco-friendly stuff, eco-chic design, holistic health, Chinese medicine, acupuncture, tia chi, qigong, animals, wild life, outdoors-nature, hiking, camping, mountain biking, high tech gadgets, building and creating things, being the best mom I can be, intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth, fun, play, good conversation, watching films, documentaries, dark-dry-out there comedy (indie/artsy/history/knowledge/stuff that stretches my mind), playing with my children, playing and dancing to music, working on my house or in my yard/garden, painting & sculpting, making things (crafts/furniture), graphic arts design/web designing-dev, decorating, book stores, coffee houses, visiting with friends, listening to radio NPR, audio books, RSS-blog-netzines reading, podcasts, going to plays, art shows and dance performances, drinking coffee, wine, tequila or chi tea with friends or my laptop/ipod/plasma-any-media-junkie-machine
I have been made fun of about the bizarre single word, monosyllabic nature of my favorite bands names like - Spoon, Beck, Ween, Blur, Bush, Cake, Poe etc...but as you can plainly see below this is not a true limiting pattern of my music appreciation. However it is an interesting trend, albeit random. But for now - this 5 min in time, my fav band is Spoon and interestingly nuff their last CD is named in the same vein - Ga Ga Ga. lol. Let the teasing begin...
April 2008, ahhh haaa new favorite band - 3 syllables with a preceding definite article - The Panderers.
Music
Aimee Mann, Alana Davis, Alman Brothers Band, America, Ani Difranco, Animals, B52s, Barenaked Ladies, Beastie Boys, Beatles, Beck, Bees (US), Ben Harper, Ben Folds Five, Better Than Ezra, Billie Holiday, Blackbud, Bloc Party, Blue Asia, Blur, Bush, Cake, Calhoun, Cat Steavens, Chris Issac, KD Lang, The Clash, Coldplay, CSN and Y, Dave Mathews Band, David Bowie, David Garza, Deathcab for Cutie, Depeche Mode, Devo, Dido, Doors, Dumptruck, Eagles, Elliot Smith, ELO, Elvis Costello, Everclear, Everly Brothers, Fatboy Slim, The 5th Dimension, Fiona Apple, Future Clouds and Radar, The General Store, Gipsy Kings, Green Day, Hollies, Interpol, Iron & Wine, Jars of Clay, Jeff Buckley, Jefferson Airplane, Jimi Hendrix, Joe Jackson, John Lennon, John Mayer, Joni Mitchell, Julian Hatfield, Kings of Convienence, Laura Nero, Led Zeplan, Lenny Kravitz, Love, The Mamas and the Papas, Manfred Mann, MC 900 Ft. Jesus, Marvin Gaye, Midlake, Moby, Moody Blues, Neil Young, Nervana, Nick Drake, No Doubt, Pink Floyd, Poe, Portishead, Queens of the Stoneage, Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, REM, Santana, Simon and Garfunkle, Smashing Pumpkins, Soul Coughing, Spoon, Squeeze, Steely Dan, Steve Miller Band, Steriolab, Syd Barret, Tahiti 80, The Byrds, The Cure, The Hollies, The Jam, The Kinks, The Panderers, The Pretenders, The Raconteurs, Sidone, The Smiths, The Stooges, Summer Wardrobe, The The, The Troggs, The Velvet Underground, The Wannadies, The White Stripes, The Who, The Yardbirds, The Zombies, Tom Petty, Under the Influence of Giants, Ugly Americans, Valejo, Van Morrison, Varuca Salt, Ween, Weezer, Wilco, Winterpills, The Yard Birds, XTC, The Zombies
Movies
Juno, Knocked Up, Daarjeeling Express, Pan's Labyrinth, Herold and Maude, Series of Unfortunate Events, Little Miss Sunshine, Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Secret Garden, Garden State, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, I Heart Huckabees, The Motorcycle Diaries, A Mighty Heart,
21 Grams, Monster's Ball, Superbad,
Vanilla Sky,
Waking Life,
Wit,
Y Tu Mama Tambien, Being John Malkovich, Children of Men,
The Cider House Rules,
Fight Club, American Splendor, Lost in Translation, Adaptation, Raising Arizona, 12 Monkeys, Crash, Magnolia,
The Matrix,
Office Space, The Terminal, What the Bleep Do We Know,
Eyes Wide Shut,
Hotel Rwanda,
Syriana,
Training Day,
Collateral,
Hidalgo,
Kill Bill: Vol. 1&2,
Love Actually,
My Life Without Me,
25th Hour,
Bend It Like Beckham,
City of God,
The Emperor's Club,
Frida,
Hero,
The Hours,
My Big Fat Greek Wedding,
Real Women Have Curves,
Amelie,
A Beautiful Mind,
Donnie Darko,
Along Came a Spider,
Almost Famous,
Billy Elliot,
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon,
High Fidelity,
Memento,
Traffic,
Requiem for a Dream,
What Lies Beneath,
American Beauty,
Girl Interupted,
The Green Mile,
The Sixth Sense,
All About My Mother,
Dark City,
Elizabeth,
Life Is Beautiful,
Jerry Maguire,
Swingers,
Trainspotting,
Waiting for Guffman,
The City of Lost Children,
The Usual Suspects,
The Shawshank Redemption,
The Joy Luck Club,
Schindler's List,
What's Eating Gilbert Grape,
The Crying Game,
Like Water for Chocolate,
Barton Fink,
Fried Green Tomatoes,
My Own Private Idaho,
Jacob's Ladder,
Dead Poets Society,
Dangerous Liaisons,
Blue Velvet,
A Room with a View,
Howards End,
Brazil,
The Color Purple,
My Life as a Dog,
Out of Africa,
Blade Runner,
Clockwork Orange,
Sense and Sensibility,
Stardust Memories,
Manhattan,
Annie Hall,
Life Less Ordinary,
Drunk Punch Love,
Best in Show, Wizard of Oz, Ghost in the Shell, Breaking and Entering, The Queen, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima with Flags of Our Fathers, Half Nelson, Volver, L'Enfant, Water, Babel, United 93, Shut Up and Sing, Brick, Tristram Shandy, House of Sand, Death of Mr. Lazarescu, Paradise Now, My Summer of Love, Mysterious Skin, The Best of Youth, Murderball, Junebug, Gilles' Wife, Maria Full of Grace, Osama, Shattered Glass, Moolaade, Dirty Pretty Things, Good Bye Lenin!, Painted Veil, Purfume, The Good German, Notes on a Scandal
Television
Flight of the Conchords, My Name is Earl, Scrubs, The Office, New Adventures of Old Christine, Mind of Mencia, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Dexter, Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, Survivorman, Man vs Wild, How It's Made, Jeff Corwin Experience, The Dog Wisperer (generally I despise all reality TV/gameshow/variety-talent show crap, but I do like some Discovery Channel realish TV and stuff with animals and nature). I Love The 70's, 80's, 90's year shows, Seinfeld, Friends, King of the Hill, History Channel, Discovery Health, HGN, TLC, National Geographic Channel, Animal Planet, South Park, most Comedy Central stand-ups, mixed martial arts fighting, any car or concept car make over show.
Books
Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, lol - seriously when I get time to read my own books, I often read many non-fiction books at a time and these days - I audio-read a lot. I guess that's just a bit less pathetic than watching FOX News or American Idol (please kill me and put me out of my misery if you catch me doing either), but hey who has time to just read a book without doing 5 other things at the same time - err - not me. Oh and I just audio-read/heard the Daily Show's, America: The Book, on my iPod - it was halarious. I also audio-read Obama's, The Audacity of Hope, and for the first time in ages I'm starting to feel inspired and maybe getting an itch to be politically active - crap that's gonna suck. But if I were to pick the last fiction books I liked the most they would be, The Power of One & Tandia, (Bryce Courtenay). Fiction wise - I have always loved the gothic-dark romantic novels that featured a tortured Byronic hero whom captivates, infurates, and incites a equally intelligent, estranged, and independent protagonist to live an authentic and couragoeus life of truth, beauty, honor, and loyalty (Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, The Phantom of the Opera and the like...) In the past I was a huge Vonnegut fan and read every C.S. Lewis book available. I used to love reading historical novels, spy/mystery/psycholgical thrillers, sci-fi with philosophical and spiritual edges, existentialism and futuristic dark social commentaries and anti-utopian give up and die stuff. Then I caught the non-fiction metaphysics bug with the eastern philosophy edge (Zen and the Art of .... books, Tao of Physics, God and the New Physics, etc...to Chaos Theory and Feminist Epistemologies in Science). Still am very interested in those topic, but no time to dabble. I read a lot about theortical physics/ math and spirituality these days, and specifically about Kabbalah. Maybe I should lighten up and read a trashy Harlequin or two hungh?
Heroes
Jane Goodall, Joseph Cambell, Alan Watts, Mr. Rogers, Frida Kahlo, Bill Gates (and his foundation), Colin Powell, Ralph Nader, Al Gore, Ben Franklin, Ab Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Thomas Paine, David Bohm, Elenor Rosevelt, Golda Meir, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and of course - Jesus . No I'm not a Jesus freak..I just really like his messages about how to love and live and the concept of forgiveness and transcendence (transcending suffering - concepts similar to Buddha). But maybe I could say the same about other spiritual profits I know less about.. But for now Jesus is da man.
On a less global level, a few of my more personal heroes include my 8th grade science teacher who made me stop self destructing and forced me to feel the power of my natural passions and talents for science, Dr. Sherry Dickey - a psychodynamic therapist in Austin, TX with whom I worked with for about six years, Socorro Vasquez - my ex-mother in law, Gene Farmanfarmian & Florence Bayard - two of my best friends' mothers in high school who took me under their wings as I was trying to fly and Jim Cano - a manager I had at DELL for many years who was an amazing leader for a self driven rebel like me.
My IQ from Tickle.com (previously Emode.com)
You scored 146 on the IQ test. This means that based on your answers, your IQ score is between 136 and 146. Most people's IQs are between 70 and 120.In fact, 95% of all people have IQs within that range. 68% of people score between 80 and 120. The chart above shows these percentages and where your IQ score is on that scale.
But, there's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score or a single label. There are four distinguishable Intelligence Scales in the Ultimate IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those four scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how your process information and thereby determine your Intellectual Type.
You Are A Visual Mathematician
You have a strong ability to process visual-spatial and mathematical information. These skills combined with your strengths in logic are what make you a Visual Mathematician.
You're able to understand patterns visually and in numbers. That means your mind can create a mental picture for any problem. In addition to that skill, you possess an intelligence that allows you to apply math to that picture, too. That helps you manipulate multiple parts of the picture (or problem) to come up with a solution.
You scored in the 100th percentile on the mathematical intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. Your mathematical intelligence score represents your combined ability to reason and calculate. You scored relatively high, which means you're probably the one your friends look to when splitting the lunch bill or calculating your waitresses' tip. You may or may not be known as a math whiz, but number crunching might come a little easier to you than it does others.
You scored in the 100th percentile on the visual-spatial intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The visual-spatial component of intelligence measures your ability to extract a visual pattern and from that envision what should come next in a sequence. Your score was relatively high, which could mean that you're the one navigating the map when you're on an outing with friends. You have, in some capacity, an ability to think in pictures. Maybe this strength comes out in subtle ways, like how you play chess or form metaphors.
You scored in the 80th percentile on the linguistic intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 70% - 80% of people who took the test and that 20% - 30% scored higher than you did. Linguistic abilities include reading, writing and communicating with words. Tickle's test measures knowledge of vocabulary, ease in completing word analogies and the ability to think critically about a statement based on its semantic structure.
What Motivates Me (according to Tickle's Motivation Test):
Connection (Very High - 10): The Connection Motivation Scale measures the intensity of your needs to belong to a group, to have fun, to care for others, to be the center of attention, and to be publicly recognized for your efforts.
Curiosity (Very High -10): The Curiosity Motivation Scale measures the intensity of your needs to be independent, to understand how things work, to have new and diverse experiences, and to explore your physical relationships.
Experience (High - 8): The Experience Motivation Scale measures the intensity of your needs to be attractive, to indulge in sensual pleasure, and to be stimulated by your environment or activity.
Stability (High - 8): The Stability Motivation Scale measures the intensity of your needs to be safe, to understand cause and effect relationships, to avoid ambiguity and uncertainty, and to accomplish difficult tasks through skill.
Prestige (Low - 3): You scored Very Low on the Prestige Motivation Scale. The Prestige Motivation Scale measures the intensity of your needs to be publicly admired, to win in competitive situations, to be in a position of authority, or to have enviable possessions or wealth.
My Values & Ethics in Living My Life:
1) WORK: To do the work, follow the path, take the journey, and accomplish the tasks that my soul signed up for when choosing to enter this life (no idea what that is, but I have faith that I’ve got to be somewhat bumbling along – My instincts tell me that I’m getting warmer..."R O S E B U D"..."there’s no place like home")
2) HONESTY, SINCERITY & INTEGRITY: Face my life openly and honestly in the moment, be honest to others and to myself – have the courage to stand up for myself and express pain and pleasure when it happens, tell the truth even if it hurts, and express my feelings freely and kindly. Strive to know and accept my true self, express my inner emotions openly and creatively (dance, art, music, etc..); share my true thoughts, ideas, wants and fears with trusted loved ones and with God in prayer
3) FAITH & LOYALTY: Seek and have faith in God's will in everything. Meditate and pray for guidance, clarity, and purpose. Have faith that all that happens is for a purpose and remain loyal to my life's purposes. Be loyal and trustworthy to all those that join me on my life's journey. Meet commitments and keep promises. Listen to and follow my center, my true talents and interests – trust in my life’s "calling" –constantly learn and grow mentally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
4) ACEEPTANCE & LOVE FOR SELF & OTHERS: Know, love, forgive and accept myself as I am (flaws and all) – never become self destructive and self punishing – accept that it is okay not being perfect. Forgive, love, accept and tolerate others the way they are – be easy going and not take things personally – be open minded and non-judgmental
5) HEALING, PERSEPCTIVE & FORGIVENESS: Bravely rediscover, face, admit, mourn, grieve, and get over my past pain and anger so I can move on in life. Forgive myself & others who have hurt me; Seek to say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness from others and God. Put my fears of the unknown, pain, loss, abandonment and future impending doom into perspective and have to the courage to face them in order to built confidence.
6) TAKING RESPONSIBILITY (and thanks to Hooi Li I now can spell it ;): Reclaim personal power by taking responsibility for my actions and my role in the outcomes in my life – resist blaming others for bad things in my life and constructively learn from my own mistakes and how I can make better choices in the future.
7) SERVICE & GIVING: Contribute, heal, nurture, love, care for and give the best of myself to: 1st to my son, daughter and my self (as in an airplane when one is instructed to place the oxygen mask on ones self before placing on babies and small children - self survival is necessary before one can exist to help others) , 2nd to my lover and/or life mate, family, animals and friends, and 3rd to my environment, community, country, and earth/world. In all my work & service, strive for the best quality by understanding the true needs of others and setting realistic expectations for what I can give. Be generous and share life’s bounties if I have enough to share. Thank God in prayer for my bounty. In all things strive for kindness & compassion – if I can or if I am in a strong place, help others in need (mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical needs); do my best never to let people down, be trustworthy and dependable; pray to God for the well being of others
8) BALANCING & PATIENCE: Have patience, balance and practice moderation – all things in due time – have faith in fate, God's will, and the goodness of all things – persevere in the midst of despair and pain, fueled by self and other love and the hope in good times to come - resist trying to control things, rush them or hold on to them -let go and let life take its course. Live my life in the moment, enjoy the simple things in my life
9) HUMILITY & SEEKING GUIDENCE: Be aware of my limitations and accept that there is always more to learn and more ways to improve; seek help from others who are more skilled and knowledgeable; do not brag; share success with others in a team; congratulate others on their success; pray to God for help and guidance;
seek mentorship, guidance, and council from those that seem at peace, trustworthy or possess a certain wisdom that I value.
10) OPTIMISM & POSITIVE ATTITUDE – even in the midst of hardship and trouble, live with joy, cheerfulness, and the determination that I can conquer all obstacles; think positively that all will turn out for the best – God has a plan; know that life is not easy, but I have the power by which I can face life’s difficulties; believe in it - be confident, have courage, trust in God’s will; strive always to be cheerful and think positive thoughts; thank God in prayer daily for all the positive blessings in my life
THE OPTIMISTS' CREED
PROMISE YOURSELF...
TO be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
TO talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
TO make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
TO look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
TO think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
TO be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
TO forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
TO wear a cheerful countenance at all tlimes and give every living creature you meet a smile.
TO give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others.
TO be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
TO think well of yourself and proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deed.
TO have faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
eHarmony’s Personality Test Say This About Me:
• You have a strong sense of humor. You usually know when to lighten a difficult situation, amuse and entertain people.
• You may be rather emotional; that is, one will generally know how you are feeling, whether good or bad, because you let others know your moods easily.
• You have to be with people. This extends into the need to gain popularity, achieve social recognition and influence those people around you. The "bottom-line" is a strong people orientation.
• You have a strong feeling of optimism, considered favorably by most people around you. Your perception is that the bottle is half-full rather than half-empty.
• You have a high trust level for others. Occasionally you may have trusted too much and was "stung" in the process. Your natural optimism, however, tends to pull you out of such slumps
• One of your great strengths is your ability to communicate and talk readily. Since all strengths may be overused at times, you may sometimes talk too much.
• Poised, confident, persuasive and impressive are descriptors for you. You are usually capable of speaking in a comfortable manner.
• You can generate enthusiasm in yourself and in other people. Your enthusiasm, often contagious, involves many people in a social activity who might not ordinarily become involved.
• You have a natural, outgoing style that some have labeled as the "natural salesperson." You are generally likable, talkative and socially assertive. Your primary intent is convincing or persuading people.
• You show sympathy to the feelings and needs of others. Your natural empathy style may draw others to you.
• You are a natural communicator. You love to talk, offer jokes and make sure that everyone is having a good time. This trait is especially evident at functions and outings.
• You are very good at communicating with others and seeing their point of view.
• You like to resolve issues well the first time, and then move on.
• You tend to be self-reliant and not enjoy relying solely on others.
• You are passionate about your ideals.
• You are skilled at finding "win-win" solutions when conflicts arise.
• You have an excellent sense of humor and tend to see humor in events spontaneously.
• You tend to enjoy life and share that enjoyment with others.
• You are a big thinker with big plans and a big image that usually carries through.
• You are good at motivating others toward positive goals.
• You tend to approach problems in a creative way.
Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.
• Ask for opinions and ideas.
• Look for details that might get ignored.
• Share specific ideas to carry out an action.
• Understand a defiant nature, and know it is not malicious.
• Expect some resistance if you don't get your way.
• Talk about expectations.
• Provide solid, yes or no answers--don't say maybe.
• Be prepared to listen to many stories.
• Plan sufficient time to talk and listen.
eHarmony’s Personality Test Says That I Want:
• No close supervision--you don't want people to hang over your shoulder.
• A friendly, favorable social environment.
• Partners who practice listening and participation.
• To be measured by the results obtained, not by the manner in which those results were accomplished.
• A support system to help you get things done.
• Recognition of skills and ability.
• An audience to perform to and entertain.
• Activities involving contact with many people.
• Support of your ideas and dreams.
• Freedom from many controls and limitations of creativity.
• Excitement and variety of activities.
My True Color: Green
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!
Where is your energy naturally directed? Extroverts' energy is directed
primarily outward, towards people and things outside of
themselves. Introverts' energy is directed primarily inward, towards
thoughts, perceptions, and reactions.
Extrovert:
Energy comes
from other people
Introvert:
Energy comes
from self
Your Result
• Your score of 70 classifies you as 'moderate with tendency
towards high' in extroversion.
Your Feedback
• You tend to be sociable and talkative. You value social companionship,
feel a strong need to be around others, and do not
have a problem meeting new people / making friends - when
and if you feel the motivation to do so.
• Your mix between the traits of introversion and extroversion
creates an interesting situation: extroverts tend to be more
naturally active, expressive, social, and interested in many
things, whereas introverts tend to be more reserved, reflective,
private, and interested in fewer interactions, but with greater
depth and focus. You manifest both tendencies and often
waiver between the two, often for 'streaks' of 2 - 3 weeks at a
time. This makes you interesting and unpredictable to many
people.
• You like to experience the world by being 'in' it, moving
around, meeting it, working on it with own hands. You seek
stimulation and are frequently on the go, actually gaining energy
- rather than losing it - from moving. Primary motivational
force: reflective interaction.
Recommendation
• It is often difficult to balance your extrovert's yearning for
human connection against this occasional, but equally strong,
introvert's need for privacy and solitude. It is important that
you recognize and satisfy both tendencies. Introverts recover
their own energy and organize themselves by having personal
space, both mental and physical, in which they can think
without outside interruption.
Your Communication Style
• A virtue of your introverted side is that it puts a limitation on
your extrovert's desire to speak compulsively, to talk without
thinking. The primary characteristic of an introvert is that
he/she is intensively observant and reflective. As a mixed introvert
/ extrovert, you have the ability to speak on an impromptu
basis, but with active reflection and observation. This provides
you with a unique persuasive advantage over the more
purely extroverted speakers.
Your Work Style
• Think long and hard before accepting a job that forces you to
work entirely by yourself, without companionship. Your interpersonal
energy makes you happiest and most efficient when
ventures are cooperative and partially interactive rather than
individual.
• Your mixed introversion / extroversion trait will provide two
simultaneous needs - one for companionship, feedback, and
social support while working, and the other for privacy,
calmness in which to concentrate, and independent decision
making. Search for positions/projects that are flexible enough
to offer both possibilities.
EMOTIONALITY
Emotionality refers to the sensitivity of the emotional response: the
number and strength of stimuli required to elicit emotions in a person.
People who measure high in the trait of emotionality tend to
be more sensitive to stimuli than those who measure low.
Calm Excitable
Your Result
• Your score of 41 classifies you as 'moderate with tendency
towards low' in emotionality.
Your Feedback
• You take a confident, balanced stand in dealing with stress.
People who score high in emotionality tend to react easily and
strongly in emotional situations - sometimes with too much
sensitivity. People who score low in emotionality tend to be
very calm and non-reactive in emotional situations - sometimes
acting without enough responsivity. You stand between these
extremes, able to adapt your behavior to what seems appropriate
in the situation.
• You are most often relaxed and even-tempered, even under
stressful conditions. You are not easily frustrated and are not
likely to carry a grudge
Your Challenge Area
• You may occasionally be prone to emotional feelings that
seem to come from nowhere. When you don't understand the
source of your feelings, you may be tempted to ignore them
or keep them to yourself, favoring an outward facade of
calmness. Researchers have found, however, that the incidence
of illness increases in individuals who suppress emotions,
particularly anxiety and anger. It is important to recognize
your emotional responses, both negative and positive.
Recommendation
• Cognitive theorists believe that if it is possible for people to
change the way they make appraisals and attributions about
the nature and cause of events, their emotion experiences can
be changed. The way we are feeling within any given moment
heavily influences the way we perceive, interpret, and remember
the information within that moment. A casual "hello" can
be interpreted as highly friendly or highly unfriendly depending
on how we are feeling when we hear it, despite its neutral
intention. It is important to take note of the connections.
• Research in neuroscience suggests that humans often experience
emotions based on hormone releases that are not connected
to any external cause. Experiments have provided evidence
that people's facial expressions (a smile or a frown, furrowed
or raised eyebrows) contribute to the regulation and activation
of their emotion experiences. There is, therefore, scientific
support for the old advice to "smile when you feel blue"- since
your mere facial expression can change how your body reacts.
In fact, experiments have shown that if people can control
their facial expression during moments of displeasure, there
will be less arousal of their nervous system - an actual decrease
of the emotional experience. Whistle while you walk!
THOROUGHNESS
Thoroughness refers to task-focus. A person who is high in thoroughness
tends to focus on one task at a time, exhibiting the selfdiscipline
associated with such a focus. A person low in thoroughness
tends to pursue a larger number of tasks at one time, exhibiting
the distractibility associated with diffuse focus.
Focus on one
thing at a time
Focus on many
things at once
Your Result
• Your score of 69 classifies you as 'moderate with tendency
towards high' in thoroughness.
Your Feedback
• You take your commitments seriously, but don't get carried
away by them. You have a high degree of self-sufficiency and,
when desired, self-control. You are reliable and easily motivated.
When you establish a particular area of interest, you
are persistent toward each goal. You like feeling capable and
you like to get things done.
• Organizational skills come naturally to you. Disorganized
situations strike you as chaotic. You are uncomfortable when
you have to function without a plan. You work best when the
purpose of a situation is understood by you. When you feel
like your progress is a bit 'stuck', you can get yourself moving
again by returning to the beginning: ask yourself about the
purpose of the task.
• Research shows that people high in thoroughness make the
best employees, managers, executives; they are more likely
to become leaders, gain status, get promoted, earn higher
salaries, and feel a greater sense of commitment to their tasks.
• When commitment turns extreme, it can result in workaholism.
If you are not a workaholic, it must be that you are
selective in the projects you undertake, or it must be that you
excel in time management. Value these skills.
Your Work Style
• You are likely to be attracted to things you can get into and
sort out. On a team, you can provide structure and organization
to a group. As a 'moderate' in thoroughness, your more balanced
profile is of great value - you are persistent enough to
get done what you need to do, but flexible enough to change
gears without feeling discomfort. You can help those who are
extremely structured to relax a bit, while at the same time
guide those who are easily distracted toward a target.
OPENNESS
Openness refers to one's orientation toward novelty. A person who
scores high in Openness is fascinated with what is new and innovative.
A person who scores low in Openness is fascinated with what
is established and perseverant.
Prefer structure Prefer change / novelty
Your Result
• Your score of 55 classifies you as 'moderate with tendency
towards high' in openness need.
Your Feedback
• You are an explorer. You have broad interests, are curious
and unconventional, welcome change, and appreciate new
approaches.
• You do not have rigid views about right and wrong, appropriate
and inappropriate. You have a preference for novel, unfamiliar
activities rather than traditional, practical activities,
norms or conventions.
Work
• You are able to succeed in a variety of careers. It is likely you
will move from one to another over the course of a lifetime,
seeking new opportunities and retreating from projects that
have become humdrum routine.
Your Personal Style
• As a 'moderate' in openness, you are likely to remain more
focused than those who measure strictly 'high' in openness.
This is of value because it allows you to recognize when plans
have become too idealistic or impractical. You are flexible
and curious, but still down to earth.
Your Finances
• Research shows that those high in openness spend much of
their income on clothing, travels, and entertainment, rather
than saving or investing. More than the average person, you
like to live for the moment.
Your Interaction Style
• When interacting with those who are low in openness, keep
the following in mind: those low in openness feel comfort in
knowing they can predict outcomes and therefore be prepared
for whatever can occur. For this reason, they resist change.
When interacting with someone low in openness, the key to
your success with them will be in downplaying the amount of
unpredictability that is involved; otherwise, they will be resistant
to your new ideas and attempted changes.
Your Work Style
• You are full of ideas, are creative, and are able to approach
problems in refreshing ways. You enjoy theoretical work and
abstract concepts. On the negative side, you tend to be uncom-
mitted to decisions, sometimes feel ambivalent / scattered,
and can be impulsive.
In a Team
• The combination of people both high and low in openness
creates an effective work team. The highly open person is
better at creating ideas than implementing them, while the
opposite is true for the person who is low in openness. As a
moderate in openness, you represent the perfect combination.
AGREEABLENESS
Agreeableness refers to the degree to which people make their actions
depend upon the behaviour of other people. A person who
scores high in agreeableness has a strong willingness to empathize
and connect with others. A person who scores low in agreeableness
has a strong willingness to follow his or her own inner voice.
Strong-willed / independent Empathetic / considerate
Your Result
• Your score of 75 classifies you as 'moderate with tendency
towards high' in agreeableness.
Your Feedback
• You are perceptive, intuitive, and empathetic. You are a good
listener, having the talent to hear not only what is said, but
also what is not said. You are skilled in reading body language.
• As a moderate in agreeableness, you have found a good balance
point. You are sensitive to the emotional currents of
others, yet you understand that people are responsible for their
own happiness. You recognize that it is important to take time
for yourself, and that it is not possible to please everyone.
Your Primary Motivation
• You strive to establish meaningful relationships with those
surrounding you. Relating and connecting with others is important
to you. You are good-natured, caring, and optimistic.
You have a genuine interest in others. You are good at promoting
harmony and cooperation.
• Because you are interested in others, you are automatically
interesting to those who get to know you. This is the secret to
charisma.
• You understand the art of appreciation. You often thank,
compliment and congratulate. You prefer to clear up disagreements
rather than to let them linger. You know how to approach
subjects tactfully.
Your Work Style
• You work best when you have feedback and positive recognition
for jobs well done. On the other side, though, you feel
guilty when others are disappointed. As a result, you sometimes
take criticism a bit personally. Remind yourself to look
at criticism in an objective manner. It lets you learn.
Challenge Area
• Under stress, you may instinctively become highly agreeable
- you may become avoidant of confrontations and withdraw
from the situation. Be aware of this tendency. Your consideration
for the feelings of others makes it that you occasionally
let your opinion or ideas remain unspoken. You can then feel
frustrated and unheard.
In a Team
• You are a gentle and subtle leader, indirect and inclusive of
others. You don't like to confront people head-on, but rather
work with them to get the job done correctly. You deal with
conflict cooperatively, striving for mutual understanding rather
than a win-lose competitive situation. Your empathy for others
makes you a good team player. When you apply to new jobs,
advertise this trait.
Career
• You function best in social positions. Search for positions
where you can put your instinctive sense of empathy, communication
skills, and leadership ability to good use.
YOUR THINKING-MODE PREFERENCES
Each person has preferences about the way he or she gathers information
and makes decisions. Our predisposition to think in a certain
manner depends on how our brain is wired. When an MRI (Magnetic
Resonance Image) photograph of the brain is taken, researchers can
see that for certain people, for certain tasks, different areas of the
brain become more active. Some people, for example, are better
with imaginative tasks (the right side of the brain), while others are
better with more concrete, hands-on tasks (the left side of the brain).
These preferences become the foundation for how we relate to
people, situations, and events in life.
The following section provides a detailed description of what
type of information you are most attracted to (Sensing vs. Intuiting),
how you prefer to make decisions (Thinking vs. Feeling), and what
environment you do best in (Judging vs. Perceiving).
SENSING VS. INTUITING
What type of information do you naturally notice and remember?
When dealing with information, sensors focus on the parts of the
information that are currently present and observable, whereas intuitors
focus on the parts of the information that can be inferred or
associated. Sensors notice the facts, details, and realities of the here
and now, whereas intuitors are more interested in connections between
facts, the ideas that can be imagined or associated with the
information.
Intuitor: Like to imagine,
speculate
Sensor: Like to stick
to the facts
Your Result
• Your score of 8 classifies you as 'a mixed sensor / intuitor,
with a tendency towards intuiting'.
Your Feedback
• You look forward to future possibilities rather than just current
realities. You prefer to ask yourself what things mean on the
larger scale. You are a 'big picture' person, are imaginative
and creative rather than matter of fact, and prefer theoretical
and conceptual work over facts and figures.
• You take the information provided by your five senses as only
a starting point for information gathering. For example, when
you see a pencil lying on the ground, you might notice the
brand of the pencil and if it was or was not sharpened, but you
are more likely to be interested in information of a different
('beyond the senses') sort: a theory about how it got there, who
it used to belong to, what may have been written with it. You
seek patterns among seemingly unrelated events.
• Caution area: you may sometimes need to limit your attempt
to make associations. In projects, for example, it might be best
to get to the point quicker, shorten sentences, simplify overly
complex ideas, and remove information that is outside the
range of the topic.
Your Work Style
• You prefer inspired work over steady work, genius over sensibility.
Recommendation
• When dealing with a steadfast sensor, you may need to adapt
your communication patterns toward a more concrete rather
than abstract style. Instead of discussing the overall concept
of the project, its possible implications, and its relationship to
other projects, you will be asked to describe the details, facts,
and figures of a project. The sensor will want to deal with the
things in the here and now, rather than the possibilities in the
future. The two types represent distinctly different preferences
for absorbing information. As a mixed sensor / intuitor, you
have the ability to switch between modes according to the
situation. This flexibility is a valuable asset.
Example: Sensing vs. Intuition
• When a sensing person and an intuiting person are asked to
review a document, the sensor will comment on content errors
and misspellings, whereas the intuitor will comment on problems
with the overall 'flow' of the topic. When viewing a
painting, the sensor notices that only three colors were used
and that the person in the painting is missing a tooth. When
viewing the same painting, the intuitor notices the expression
on the person's face and wonders about what the person may
have been thinking. The sensor focuses on what is at hand;
the intuitor focuses on what can be inferred.
THINKING VS. FEELING
How do you make decisions? Thinkers make decisions based primarily
on criteria that are impersonal - what makes the most sense
and what seems most logical. Feelers make decisions based primarily
on emotional impressions - what 'feels' most right or wrong.
Thinkers tend to be calm, analytical, and convinced by logical reasoning.
Feelers tend to be sensitive, empathetic, and compelled by
extenuating circumstances.
Feeler: Decisions based on
feelings / instincts
Thinker: Decisions based on
logic / clear thinking
Your Result
• Your score of 21 classifies you as 'a mixed thinker / feeler,
with a tendency towards feeling'.
Your Feedback
• You make decisions using your heart rather than your mind.
Logic is important to you, but so is the human element. You
would rather that a person was illogical yet considerate than
accurate and cold-hearted. You focus on how a decision will
affect others.
• When coming to conclusions, you believe that there are often
no black or white solutions. Each situation has different circumstances.
• You can sometimes become 'caught up' by the moment- carried
away by a feeling or impression. For example, if you go
shopping, you may sometimes become inspired to buy things
that you don't need, simply because it 'feels' like something
you need at the time. Later, after putting some thought into
the matter, you may realize that what you bought was not exactly
the item that you needed or wanted.
Your Interaction Style
• Thinkers approach decisions in an entirely different manner
than feelers do. To a feeler, the thinker's approach is often
seen as detached and lacking in emotions. Thinkers, however,
explain that they express their caring by looking after others'
welfare in impartial, clear, and level-minded ways.
• As a mixed thinker / feeler, you may change your approach
to decision-making according to the situation. Perhaps at work
you are a thinker and at home you are a feeler. It is of interest
to understand your patterns so that you can utilize them to
your full advantage.
• If two people applied for a job that required advanced technical
skill, a feeler would prefer the person who was less qualified
but nicer over the person who was extremely qualified but
neutral. A thinker, though, would push personal considerations
aside - an important quality when such decisions are crucial.
As a mixed Feeler / Thinker, you can utilize and appreciate
both modes. Your flexibility is an asset.
Example: Thinking vs. Feeling
• You, with a tendency toward feeling, are visiting a friend who
is a steadfast thinker. A traveling salesperson comes to the
door. If the salesperson is truly charismatic and inspirational,
yet the product is bad, your friend will not buy a thing. On the
other hand, if the salesperson is suspicious (i.e., gives you a
mistrustful feeling), you will not buy a thing - even if the
product is extremely good. Feelers make evaluations based
partially on impressions, trust, and intuitive feelings, whereas
Thinkers make evaluations based mostly on proof and logic,
regardless of the interpersonal feeling. Both modes have positive
sides.
JUDGING VS. PERCEIVING
In which kind of environment do you feel most comfortable? Judgers
prefer a structured, predictable environment where they can make
decisions and have things settled or understood. Perceivers prefer
a flexible, open-ended environment where they can encounter unexpected
events or possibilities.
Perceiver: Prefer flexible
environments
Judger: Prefer predictable
environments
Your Result
• Your score of 12 classifies you as 'a mixed judger / perceiver,
with a tendency towards perceiving'.
Your Feedback
• You do not mind leaving questions unanswered. You like
surprises - gifts, notes, unexpected phone calls. While you
appreciate having some structure in your environment, you
also enjoy the excitement and mystery of the unplanned.
• You enjoy starting things more than finishing things, and
prefer to have freedom from obligations. You are spontaneous
and appreciate the presence of alternative plans.
Example: Judging vs. Perceiving
• If a judger and a perceiver won a free vacation to any destination
(of their choice) in the world, both would be equally excited
- each, however, in a different way. The perceiver would
enjoy thinking of all the possibilities of where to go - Sri
Lanka, Bangkok, Moscow, Hawaii? - perhaps even just as
much as he or she actually enjoys the vacation that follows.
The judger, however, is after some time more bothered than
fascinated by the choice in alternatives. Every time he or she
finally decides on a location, the perceiver comes up with a
different option to ponder. Here is the difference: The Judger
is most excited immediately after a decision has been made -
when the planning phase turns into a solid action phase. The
perceiver is more excited before a decision has been made, by
the wide-open opportunities that exist before one has committed
to a decision. As a mixed Judger / Perceiver, your style
may change according to the type of situation. You can work
well both in flexible and in structured environments.
EXTROVERSION COMPARISON
Your Score
You are similar to most females in your extroversion level. Like
you, most females are outgoing and social, but also appreciate
having some quiet time on their own.
The average male and the average female differ slightly in their
extroversion level. The average male tends to be less extroverted
than the average female is.
EMOTIONALITY COMPARISON
Your Score
You are more relaxed and calm than the average female and male
are when it comes to stress and feeling intense emotions. The average
female and male are more reactive to their feelings and mood
swings than you are. Your balanced way of dealing with emotions
is a guiding part of your personality.
The average male and female are similar in their level of emotionality.
Women, however, tend to talk about their feelings and emotions
more than men do. Starting in early childhood, girls are encouraged
to express their feelings more than boys are.
THOROUGHNESS COMPARISON
Your Score
You are similar to most females and males in how organized and
focused you are. Like you, most females and males are organized,
but not too organized, focused, but not too focused. They prefer to
finish one task before moving on to the next, but are flexible enough
to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.
OPENNESS COMPARISON
Your Score
You are similar to most females in your preference for change, but
not too much change. Like you, most females don't mind variety
and newness, but they prefer that life still remains predictable.
The average male and female are similar in their openness need.
They appreciate some change every once in a while, but for the
most part prefer routines.
AGREEABLENESS COMPARISON
Your Score
You care more about the feelings and opinions of other people than
most females do. Most females keep some space between themselves
and the problems of other people. You try to as well, but often have
a harder time doing it. Your empathy and concern for other
people are guiding parts of your personality.
Males and females differ slightly in their levels of agreeableness.
The average female is more agreeable than the average male is.
YOUR THINKING-MODE PREFERENCES AND THE AVERAGE
Sensing vs. Intuiting
You are similar to most females in the type of information that
stands out and attracts you. Like you, most females are more attracted
to the connections between the facts than to the facts themselves.
Males and females differ in the type of information they are attracted
to. Most males prefer to focus on facts in the 'here and now',
while most females prefer to focus on what can be inferred or
speculated on.
Thinking vs. Feeling
Your Score
You make decisions in a way that is similar to the way that most
females make decisions. Most females follow their gut instinct or
heart when making decisions, even if it may seem slightly illogical
to do so.
Males are an interesting case when it comes to thinking vs. feeling:
50 percent of males are 'thinkers', making decisions based
mostly on logic, while the other 50 percent are extreme 'feelers' -
making decisions based fully on their heart.
Judging vs. Perceiving
Your Score
The average female and male feel most comfortable in an environment
that is semi-structured and stable. They enjoy finishing a
project more than they enjoy beginning a project. You are somewhat
different in this regard: you like the excitement of open-ended
possibilities.
This is a guiding part of your personality.
YOUR TEMPERAMENT
Your talents fit:
An Idealist
Your personality is a mixture of several character types, but the role
it most naturally fits is the idealist. Idealists live in an abstract world
of thoughts and ideas, but care deeply about finding a way to contribute
to the good of society in a concrete, observable way.
Idealists are genuine and empathetic, have a hunger for deep and
meaningful relationships, and prefer to focus on the personal, human
side of life. They are enthusiastic and warm. They tend to find
themselves involved with personal growth wherever they go.
Idealist's Motto:
• I want to discover the truth in life.
Natural job talents:
• Whether assisting in the personal aspects of business or
working directly in a healing profession, idealists trust their
own feelings over any other source of information. They are
always looking to better understand themselves and the world.
They are identity seekers, are imaginative, and are creative in
the way they communicate their thoughts. Your personality
fits this pattern.
Best environment:
• Seek out environments that allow you the freedom to be
yourself and to think freely. Avoid tasks that are fast-paced,
discipline-oriented, and rigid. When you work on a task, every
step you take creates a new idea for you. You enjoy this and
it benefits all other areas of your life. When you are surrounded
by co-workers who limit this freedom or who are not flexible
or curious, your enthusiasm begins to suffer. Avoid such situations.
• Biggest weakness: Idealists have a hard time remembering
facts or figures. When a topic doesn't hold potential for insight
or imagination, you will quickly get bored with it. Most important:
Idealists become stubborn when they feel that someone
is restricting their freedom. When you sense that you are becoming
stubborn, the solution is to stand up and walk around
for a few minutes. Your brain operates best when it has
movement and freedom.
Co-Workers:
• You work best in cooperative, harmonious environments.
Competition, a rushed pace, and a strict format for communication
doesn't work well for you. Such situations make you
feel restricted and tempt you to become stubborn. You work
best when you are given the freedom and time to follow your
hunches and impressions.
• The best co-worker for you: A fellow idealist or a thinker -
someone who is optimistic and flexible. Since you tend to
jump around in your thoughts, you work best with people who
are capable of following multiple levels of associations within
a conversation.
• The worst co-worker for you: Someone who is impatient or
pessimistic.
Achilles Heel:
• Feeling guilty
Your Strength:
• Idealists inspire other people. Your enthusiasm is catchy.
Favorite Question:
• 'Who?'. Artists are known for asking 'Where?'. They want to
know where the action is so that they can be there and help to
sculpt it. Protectors are known for asking 'What and when?'.
They want to keep things regulated. Thinkers are known for
asking 'How?'. They want to figure out how things work. Idealists,
however, are known for asking 'Who?'. They are most
concerned about how decisions and actions affect people.
YOUR PERSONALITY AND YOUR BIRTH ORDER
Has your personality been influenced by your birth order? Oldest
children usually come in one of two flavors: the caregivers or the
aggressive 'movers and shakers'. Both types have something in
common - they are in control.
Your personality assessment shows that you measure moderate
to high in your need for control, which fits what might be expected
from your role in the family. As the oldest child, you were put in
the role of the leader - the one whom your parents and relatives
were pretty tough on. Those qualities have stuck with you.
Your social side: Research on firstborns predicts that when it
comes to friends or a relationship partner, you are probably most
attracted to people who are lastborns. Lastborns are very easy-going.
You might enjoy their flexible and fun-loving nature.
When you get the opportunity, take a survey of the birth order
of each of your friends. If a pattern shows up in the type of people
you seem to get along with best, you should pay special attention
to what this might signify, and what personality needs it might reflect.
Your hierarchy of needs. Love, or a feeling of belongingness, is
your third strongest need.
For you, love and recognition needs are connected.
You feel 78% self-actualized.
At the base, or most important part of your triangle, are 'body', or
'physiological' needs. Body needs refer to the essentials of daily
living, for example the need for food and water. For all humans,
the need to eat and drink, sleep, move, and fight off sickness is always
the base of their triangle. The instinctual drive to fulfill such
needs is strong and unavoidable. It forms the foundation for all
other needs. Safety needs, level 2, refer to the need to have shelter
from dangers in our environment - a place to hide under when it's
raining, warmth in winter, or a shady spot to protect you from sun
blisters in the summer. Feeling comfortable in your environment is
extremely important.
Your answer patterns in the Personality Profile signal that like
most people, your drive for love, level 3, is only one small step
away from these essentials. You want other individuals to think
and care about you. This is a normal position in which to have
this need. According to Maslow, the need to feel 'needed' and
connected to others is the third strongest instinct of almost every
human being.
The reason that your needs are organized into a pyramid shape is
to show that you have to at least partially satisfy the needs in one
level before you can move up to the next level. If you are starving,
feeling sick, or being chased by a tiger, you won't be thinking much
about finding love. You also won't be much in the mood for love
if you don't yet have a place to call home. Did you ever notice that
homeless people usually aren't sleeping on the streets in pairs? Part
of the reason is likely to be practical, but the other part of the reason
might be attributed to their human instincts. The human body is
hard-wired to recognize the appropriate time and place for different
drives. If we don't yet feel a sense of safety, we won't yet feel much
interest in developing deep love relationships. But as soon as we
have some food in our stomachs and feel comfortable in our environment,
we humans have a curious tendency to start thinking about
those other human beings standing around us. Feeling a sense of
belonging is important to us, almost as much as eating and drinking.
(Did you ever notice, for example, that the English language has
sayings such as 'Love is a nutrient', or 'She was starved for affection'?)
After love, your next step up is the need for self-esteem and
recognition. You want to feel competent about your capabilities,
and you want to feel that others recognize your talents and efforts.
Your personality patterns indicate that your search for love, level
3, is something that you often combine or intermix with level 4,
the search for self-esteem.
This is why your pyramid is shown with a link between levels 3
and 4. Feeling loved and having good friendships is important to
you, but you also want to know what your talents and abilities are
as an independent and free individual. Many people feel the same.
They focus on their work, hobbies, activities, or travels, striving
first for level 4, a sense of self-esteem. This works well; however,
in order to feel a solid grounding at level 4, most people need to at
some point go back to finish building level 3. It's just like building
a skyscraper. If one of the levels is a bit shaky, all the others above
it will be affected. For you, feeling truly self-confident comes not
only from your abilities, but also from feeling a sense of belonging
and connectedness to your partner, your community, or a good
group of friends.
Finally, if all your other needs are satisfied, you are able to strive
toward your last need, what psychologists call 'self-actualization'.
For you, being 'self-actualized' means having your full self 'actual'
and real. It means feeling a sense of wholeness, connectedness to
your environment, and feeling that you have reached your full potential.
It means that your 'real self' comes closer and closer to
matching what you think is your 'ideal self'. In your Personality
Profile, you indicated that you feel you are currently living your
life at around 78% of your ideal potential, and that bringing your
real self as close as you can to your ideal self is important to you.
You notice more and more that feeling your 'self' is more important
than any material possession one can own.
Bringing your 'real self' as close as you can to your 'ideal self'
is important to you.
So, this brings us back to the original question asked in the introduction
of your Personality Report: What is the secret to happiness?
Science says that happiness comes from knowing what your needs
are, making sure that your goals are realistically tied to them, and
going after them. In today's day and age, our needs for food, shelter,
and safety are not hard to satisfy. It's the top part of the triangle,
the need for love, esteem, and self-fulfillment that gives most people
trouble. Since the nature, frequency, and quality of one's involvement
with significant others is an essential factor in physical health
and in the development of peak-level happiness, it is important that
we devote sufficient time to figuring out what is important to us in
our relationships.
YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
A section of questions in your Personality Profile was set up to assess
your attachment tendencies.
Your answer patterns indicate that your adult attachment style is
'secure'. You trust strangers easily and you are relatively open and
expressive with your emotions. You are comfortable exchanging
emotional information and you are not afraid of commitment when
the person is right for you.
A problem might be that you have a soft spot for partners, friends,
and colleagues who have a slightly avoidant or anxious attachment
style. You like the challenge and the excitement of a person who
seems a little distant or difficult, but this creates hard work for you
in the end. It's important to you that people are warm and open regarding
emotions, but not too open, complicated, or clingy.
It would be good for you to review your past relationships to see
if there is a pattern in the type of person to whom you become attracted.
If you have often had friendships or partnerships with people
who were distant (or not distant enough), unpredictable, or difficult,
this may indicate that you are trying to distract yourself from focusing
on your own feelings. If you get to focus on someone else's
feelings, then you don't have to think much about your own. This
is a clever trick of the human brain. Be careful if you see yourself
falling into this tendency.
Take some time to think about how you may have been steered
toward your current interaction patterns. In some ways, you may
act similar to the people you have grown up with. In other ways,
you may act opposite, or reactionary. Identifying your patterns is
interesting because it can help you to think about the areas that you
wish to alter, and the areas you wish to enhance and further appreciate.
