Defective Man!

About me:

SB-Films is proud to announce that the first trailer is here, featuring music by The Mike Project:

... and here is a SECOND preview, added Sept. 24, 2008. More to come!: Here is a quick look at some of the amazing dancing skills employed by Defective Man and Horn Dog (this is a rought-cut, much-shortened scene from the film with temp music):

Now, a personal message from Defective Man:

What up, dawgs? Defective Man here, kicking it old school, rolling with Defective Man's homies, drinking... oh, forget it. Defective Man feels that it is WAY too much work for Defective Man to be hip. But did not Defective Man hear some new song about it is "hip to be square"? If so, Defective Man is SO hip!

Anyway, Defective Man is America's best and brightest low-impact law enforcer... scratch that, Defective Man is Albuquerque's best and brighest low-impact law enforcer, Defective Man is not sure if Defective Man is the best in the US. But as far as Albuquerque goes, Defective Man is sure. Defective Man is so low-impact and incognito that you may have passed Defective Man on the street and not even known it. Or you may have walked past one of Defective Man's crime fighting pals, Horn Dog, Captain Orange-Piss, or the legendary Bill Gill - Bill is a master of disguise, the Lon Cheney of the aquatic world, so you would not know if you were sitting next to Bill right now! Albuquerqueian evil-doers beware! The Defective Four is here and Defective Man et. al. will clean your clock something good! Or at least guilt you into cleaning it yourself! Or at the very least, make you feel bad about what a filthy clock you have. TAKE THAT, EVIL!..

Defective Man! is shot, mostly cut, and now is in the process of having sound and color correction done. Defective Man!: The You Can't Illegally Download it on Torrent Sites Yet Cut played at The Guild Cinema in November 2009 as part of the TromaDance New Mexico Film Festival. Defective Man is now looking for other festivals in which to screen Defective Man!, as well as defective folks to screen and review Defective Man!, if there are interested parties, please email "defectiveman@sb-films.com"...

Defective News!

Here's who's who in this flick (in order of appearance):

Young Man – Brian Lorelle

Middle-Aged Man – Chris Ranney

Defective Man – Paul Alsing

Horn Dog – Arturo Negro

Mrs. Kreutzman – Elisa Martin

Mr. Rafferty – Towando Clayborne

Van Dyked Meeting Participant – Mike McGovern

Bearded Meeting Participant – Ryan Mowry

Lawyer #1 – Joey Dalton

Lawyer #2 – Gabe Torres

Receptionist – Tracy Mowry

Office Worker – Helen Fluke-Stewart

Rats - Nicodemus & Moet

Captain Orange-Piss – Steve Eckles

Candi – Becky Weaver

Skin Shack Patron #1 – Adam Clark

Skin Shack Patron #2 – Garret Ross

Skin Shack Waitress – Arielle Nylander

Bill Gill - Josh Saavedra

Homeless Man – Rick Holmes

Hoodlum – Bill Carr

Burning Paradise Robber – Kurly Tlapowaya

Burning Paradise Clerk – Sara Lehmann

Little Girl – Robin Weston

Pookums – Clamps

Pookums Stunt Ferret – Lord Nibbler

Hevvy Flo – Haylee Nelson

Ronny Tobins – Trent Haaga

Motivational Speech Audience Members

Sam Barber – Arthur Black – Jaime Boyzo – Joe Coffey – Bertha Eckles – Anthony Flowers – Manuel Gar – Brian Jewell – Eric S. Jewell – Katelyn Jewell – Mike King – Sara Lehmann – Elisa McGovern – Mike McGovern – Nikolas Niforos – Piel Pamela – Audrey A. Parker –Patrick D. Quinn – William Rogers

Ralph – Mike McGovern

Martha – Elske McCain

Salesperson – Mark Davidson

Jimny-Bob – Sam Barber

Walking Woman – Courtney Ganstine

Mike – Adam Jarmon Brown

Puritanical Pride Foundation

Francisco L. Apodaca – Bryce E. Harper – Coleen L. Martinez – Elisa McGovern – Mike McGovern – John R. Nelson – Nancy Shaw

Albuquerque Pro-Censorship League

Michael E. Beard – Carole Bowling – Tom Bowling – Bill Carr– Helen Fluke-Stewart – Joel Shaw

Sister Mary – Bertha Eckles

Sister Frances – Reina Flores

Rooftop G – Michael E. Beard

Los Amigos del Valle Norte

Accordion – Luis Jaramillo Guitar – Lina Marquez Vihuela – Vivian Flores Spokesperson / Guitarra de Golpe – Earl Santillanes Guitarron – George Quintana

Dockworker – Peter Fishburn

Soup – Dennis Montoya

Sophomore – Alex Cummings

Lyle – Daniel Garcia

Big B-Boss – Preston Sam

Dancing Hoodlum # 1 – Joe Manuel Gallegos Jr.

Dancing Hoodlum # 2 – Christian Jojola

Dancing Hoodlum # 3 – Luke A. Loffelmacher

Dancing Hoodlum # 4 – Christopher Little

Dancing Defective Man – Jonte Culpepper

Dancing Horn Dog – Chris Chavez

Smegma Flats Security Guard – Max Martinez

Smegma Flats Defective Fans

Bill Carr – Chili – Mark Davidson – Keith Mager – Lillian Saavedra

The President of New Mexico – Billy Garberina

Cop – Ryan Mowry

Reporter – Oriana Saiz

Captain Orange-Piss’ Personal Assistant – Josh Saavedra

Thanks to Bronwyn at Eyefeather.com for creating Bill Gill. You should check out her stuff. Click on the banner.

Speaking of 'Thanks," Defective Man has a few of his own...

Hello all, Defective Man here again. Defective Man wanted to take a second to thank all of the people, companies, etc., without which Defective Man! would not have any chance of ever being more than Defective Man's fever dream. So without further adieu, here they are.

Defective Man would like to thank Kurly Tlapowaya from Burning Paradise for letting Defective Man rob Kurly's store, climb on Kurly's roof, and take over Kurly's parking lot. SUPPORT INDY CINEMA - Shop at Burning Paradise!

Defective Man would like to thank Java Joe's for letting Defective Man fill their parking lot on more than one occasion!

Defective Man would like to thank Eddie, Luis, and Mr. Garcia from Garcia's Tents & Events (303 Arvada Ave NW, Albuquerque, NM (505) 842-8368), without them Defective Man would have been secret-lairless.

Defective Man would like to thank Brian at The Lotus Club (211 Gold Ave SW, Albuquerque, NM (505) 243-0955), without the Lotus Club, Horn Dog would have been strip-club-less, and that makes for a sad Horn Dog. Defective Man wants people to know that The Lotus Club is not an actual strip club (however it is an accomplished actor of sorts, effortlessly portraying "Albuquerque's smallest strip club") but a really swanky night club with neat-o asian design influences. And The Lotus Club doesn't smell like ass, like many other clubs Defective Man has frequented over the years, so that's really cool too!

Defective Man would like to extend a great-big thanks to Keif at The Guild Cinema (3405 Central Ave NE, Albuquerque, NM (505) 255-1848) for not only allowing Defective Man to hold Defective Man!'s auditions at The Guild, but also to shoot a few pivotal scenes inside. Plus, Defective Man loves indy cinema, and there's not many places besides The Guild that serve up the non-Hollywood stuff here in Albuquerque.

Defective Man wants to thank Park's Landscaping (9401 4th St NW, Albuquerque, NM (505) 332-4444) for allowing Defective Man and Horn Dog to get fired from their vacant offices.

Defective Man would like to thank Bronwyn from Eyefeather... see banner above.

Defective Man would like to thank The Mike Project for providing Defective Man!'s first soundtrack entry. CHECK IT OUT: ..

Defective Man is sure that Defective Man will return later with more thank-yous from the making of Defective Man! Until then, thank YOU for reading Defective Man's rants!

Here's a little preview of some dancing skills that Defective Man and Horn Dog employed in the film. Defective Man apologizes if there is advertising beforehand, but Captain Orange-Piss has got to make his money!