DetroitSantarchy will take place on Saturday December 20, 2008! And remember, you must be Santa Clausified, Elfinated or be attired in some other appropriate costuming to purchase a bus pass.
What every Santa needs to know : Surviving Santarchy '08
As you all well know , Detroit Santarchy is this Saturday December 20th. Our meeting venue this year is Blondies on W. Fort Street, 2 blocks west of Rosa Parks Ave.
This year we'll have two buses leaving from Theatre Bizarre and one from the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor. The Theatre Bizarre buses will start loading up at 7pm; and the Ann Arbor birkenstock bus at 6:45 pm. Don't piss around and get there late because the Theatre Bizarre buses will be leaving at 7:15 pm sharp; and the A2 bus leaves promptly at 7:00 pm. For the uninitiated Theatre Bizarre is located on State Fair, 2 blocks east of Woodward Ave. Parking is on the street . The Blind Pig has a parking garage directly across from it so hopefully you can focus long enough to find it.
The bus pass this year is $20 (even for all you hippies coming from Ann Arbor!!) Again... Get there early. You know... 6:30ish and pack a $20 bill for Santa's sake! Bus passes will be sold as you board the bus and we don't need to be fumblin' in the dark through your coin collection, wrinkled up dollar bills, and/or various forms of contraband trading booty.
If your plan is to just show up at Blondies, get there between 8 & 10pm. They do have a gated parking lot but
you still might want to leave the Lexus home that night. Bus passes will be sold till 11-11:30 p.m.ish at Blondies.
After that the bus helpers will have a few passes on hand for you pokey stragler Santas.
The buses will start rolling at 9:30. To get things goin' and keep things moving, here's the plan. The sleighs will take a load of Santas to the first stop (Gaelic League / LJ's) then return to Blondies and pick up more Santas. After the second drop off the buses will continue to stop #2 (Harry's and The Comet Christmas bar). Feel free to hang where you're at for a bit... or continue onward. Stop # 3 is one Detroit's favorite punk dives "The Old Miami". Stop #4 is The Magic Stick and The Union Street Saloon. The Stick is having a Burlesque and Pinup art show as well as 3 bands playing that night.
After leaving those digs sit back and enjoy the bright lights and sour smells of Woodward Ave as your sleigh heads to the next stop. Feel free to interact with with fellow motorists and Fox Theatre patrons as only a Santarchist can do. I don't want to put thoughts in your heads but the buses do go right next to the Campus martius Ice rink??? They may be closed... but to Santa??? Hmm?? Everyone loves Santa. Anyways... I digress once more. The #5 stop is The Lagerhouse and finishing up the route is Stop #6 The Works (Fetish Night), Corktown Tavern (Margaret DollRod and other Detroit artists doing solo Christmas tunes; plus DJ JR will be spinnin' the rockin'est Christmas tunes you'll ever HEAR!!! Also check out Casey's Pub and the Maltese at the same stop.
By 10:30 we should have the whole route working well with a sleigh swingin' by every bar every 8-12 minutes including stops back to Blondies should you wimp out early. With a few hundred Santas and Santa helpers letting loose these past few years, things can get pretty wild. Thats cool. But PLEASE respect the space around other Santarchists if requested. Having said that, don't be a tight ass either. If a Santa or bar patron bumps into you... LET IT GO. If someone steps on your foot... LET IT GO. If a glowing Santa stares at your girlfriend because she looks like hottie Mrs. Clausey... LET IT GO. If someone pukes on your shoes... LET IT GO!! Or get some quicker feet. This is all stuff that has happened that has turned into fights. If you're that type of Santa... STAY HOME and play your Nintendo! To all you Pukers though??? ...ACHTUNG! ...The buses do have windows that open. USE THEM! Besides... it makes for a great kodak moment for passerbys. The buses will all do a final sweep at 1:20-1:30am and be back at Blondies by 1:45am. Please watch your friends and don't let them take the Browns to the SuperBowl during this time. We always loose a few Santas to those late night bathroom excursions.
Leave NO Santa behind! Remember. At 4 am, even the merriest Santa is fair game in the Cass Corridor.
Its going to be another FUN Santarchy. No matter what's thrown in our faces: shitty economy, riots, thug mayors, etc... Detroiter have always been able to hang together, laugh our asses off and sling a few cold ones back . Its how we stay sane... but not too sane... cus that would be boring. Merry Christmas. See you all Saturday!!
Attention all of you Santa and Santa-ette wannabes. To be eligible to purchase a bus pass, you must be attired as a Santa, a Santa-ette, a Santa Helper, an Elf, a Reindeer or in other appropriate costuming. The Easter Bunny and Great Pumpkin are welcome to join in on the fun. No costume, no Santarchy. Don't be a stick in the mud, the costume is part of the fun.
Be a fun but responsible Santa, have a designated driver for the trip home at the end of the night. Or consider hiring a cab for the ride home. Sure it sounds expensive, but it's a whole lot cheaper than a dui rap.
Another great year! The Russian Princess would like to extend apologies to the victims of the 'masking tape' incident. Hmmmm, on second thought...Friggin Ingrates!
LEN! Last night was amazing! I'm so glad you don't do anything LAME! Ahhhh, good times...can we find another reason to get dressed up, wasted, and make a total ass of ourselves? Please let me know!! Lookin' forward to next time!! xoxo
If anyone still needs a sexy Santa outfit, my fiance is the manager of Adam and Eve in Brownstown. All outfits are 25 percent off. www dot adamevemichigan dot com
See ya Saturday..... and pay special attention to our christmas sing-a-long
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