anybody wishing to be a slave in my personal dark ‘n’ evil army that will sweep the nation, then the world, and then maybe the galaxy if I have time. the rest of you better be here to entertain me... that said, anyone that adds me as a 'friend' on this MySpace thingy, automatically agrees to be my servant.
List of servants:
Tom - I believe him to a cyborg of the MySpace company. He will be on general guard duty, shoot lasers, and help me install CCTV. Being a robot thing, he can also fix my toaster.
Angeh - The first human to become my servant, congrats. I'll put you in charge of costumes for my army or something, all the girls have to be in goth-loli style, and the guys have to be in Team Rocket/Shinra style gear. Then you can write horror stories about me to put the fear into everyone.
Chris - As my first US minion, you’ll be my Americaland contact, spreading the word of Kuro to all who will listen and especially to those that do not. I’ll also put you in charge of entertainment for my other underlings, get as many consoles and games together as possible. Steal if you need to, you’re a member of Kuro’s evil army now. Also get me some of those Reese’s chocolates, they’re yummy.
Two Sides Wide - Kat and Dave will draw and tone elaborate and kick-ass comics of me, pimping that which is the glory of Kuro on their website, because Automatic Freestyle just doesn’t get as much traffic as theirs. They will then make a line of ‘Kuro hats’ for my fans to wear. All money goes to me! Muhahaha! Dillo the armadillo may become a worthy rival, he will have to be watched.
Kuroki/Char - Upon interviewing the recruit I have found that her main job will be to train the rest of the army on how to eat chicken soup and bread without spilling a single drop. A clean army is a good army. I’ll put her in charge of communications for now as she can use sign language to speak to and/or defeat any deaf opponents who are against my cause. She also has “1337 n3kkid skillz” as well as the ability to bring forth alcohol, which has to be a plus.
Cassie - One of my main promoters. She will write up epic RPG-style stories with me as the main character and love interest to all. As a great English-educating-type-person, she’ll teach English to any foreign members of my death squad. With her great artistic skills, she will add my image to her future artwork along with the hot pretty boys and/or cute high school girls. Covering all bases I will become a household name and idol to all.
Eurofusion - At some point, I will no doubt have my own line of movies, console games, action figures and manga. These will be based on my life story and teachings. These guys will review them all and give each of them 11 out of 10. My fame and fortune will increase.
The Karl - Every dominating army needs a ‘The Karl’. He will act as head of security, building walls from beer cans, tripping people up, and swearing loudly at the enemy.
