Paraphilia Magazine
Music, Film, Theater, Writing, Reading, Loving, Eating, Maintaining a rigorous exercise regimen, Riding the SoCal waves, Taking the name of the lord in vain, Observing the world around me, Talking to strangers, Taking candy from strangers, Having chronic insomnia, Being dangerously clumsy, Getting lost, Forgetting where I parked, Waiting in interminably long lines that mysteriously disappear as soon as I reach the front, Being innately and stubbornly defiant even when it’s in my worst interest, Loitering in cemeteries and graveyards, Experiencing remarkably vivid non-drug-induced hallucinations, Ailuranthropy, Apophenia, Tachyphrenia, Not sweating the small stuff, Venturing into uncharted territory, Adamantly refusing to grow up and act my age, Harebrained schemes, Conspiracy theorizing, Coining new words, Mutating existing words, Portmanteau words, Butchering languages, Teaching earthlings how to laugh at themselves and to not take life too seriously, Unintentionally shocking, frightening, and offending people who are uptight, narrow, judgmental, and pretentious, Standing up for the little guy, Lending an ear, Helping whoever I can whenever I can, Carrying out lengthy conversations with affable felines, Following the news until it makes me want to put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, People of their word, The underbelly of society, The study of Paraphilias, Patent Leather, Chanel N°22, Exorbitantly priced pointy-toed stilettos, Boxing, Mixed Martial Arts, Crossword Puzzles, The colors Red and Black, Televangelists, Isolating, Socializing, Daydreaming, Liberty, Diversity, Anarchy, Benevolence, Ice Cream, Chocolate, Candy, Cake, Cookies, Peanut Butter, Marshmallows, Whipped Cream, Salt, Toothpaste, Dental Floss, Soap, Water, Geothermal Energy, Breathing, etc...
Music
is my nepenthe...
Movies
Television
Books
Heroes
“The hero was distinguished by his achievement; the celebrity by his image or trademark. The hero created himself; the celebrity is created by the media. The hero was a big man; the celebrity is a big name.”
How delectably pithy. I wish I could claim ownership, but have to give credit where credit is due, it belongs to Daniel J. Boorstin.
Not to be confused with Bizarro Dire McCain, who is in fact a corpulent, mulleted, slightly creepy looking man, who frequents various online forums and chat rooms relating to audio equipment, electronics, RC aviation, Toyota Supras, and porn, among other things.
A five-dimensional creature who fell through a Lorentzian traversable wormhole into a three-dimensional universe, landing on what was, at the time, the second rock from the Sun. After a nebulous sojourn in the Zone of Avoidance, while trapped in a self-induced state of suspended animation, was unwittingly converted into a transportable energy pattern, and ultimately rematerialized on twenty-first century Earth. “Suffers from” Aboulomania, Planomania, Eleutheromania, Habromania, Hydrodipsomania, a severe case of Logomania, and innocuous Daddy Issues. Possesses a ridiculous number of utterly useless skills, including the mythical mantic Seventh Sense, which is merely another of myriad delusional beliefs. Subsists on sincerity, empathy, tolerance, love, and Skippy Natural Super Chunk Peanut Butter.
Despite my unrelenting pleas, THE DEMONS refuse to grant me a divorce, so for the time being, we have reached a reasonable compromise.
After years of passive resistance, I’ve learned to embrace my neuroses.
All celebrity, fashion, and beauty magazines should be incinerated.
Misdirection of ugly emotions should be avoided at all costs.
Moodiness is utterly repellent.
Jealousy, self-pity, self-absorption, self-importance, pettiness, and greed are equally repellent.
Brightly lit, high-ceilinged places can induce panic attacks.
Ingesting lysergic acid diethylamide habitually during adolescence can permanently “derange” the mind. What do you see?
External criticism can frustrate and debilitate, but only self-doubt can annihilate.
The clouds have always been far kinder to my head than the ground has ever been to my feet.
Political correctitude is simply another form of censorship, and its impact on society has been negative, if anything.
Weddings are a criminal waste of money, and marriage is nothing more than a flimsy legal contract.
A baby is not a doodad that comes with a lifetime money back guarantee. What’s more, it will inevitably mutate into an adult. How many people actually take this into consideration before procreating?
Recipe for a Bipolar Musical Cocktail: One Part Swans One Part Harpers Bizarre
There is no such thing as “a bowl of cereal”, one must scarf down the entire box.
One of the great beauties of life is the ability to experience the entire gamut of human emotions, even those which seem unendurable.
Sign of a true friend: When you tell him there was a neon red Anatolian Hieroglyphic message on your ceiling last night, his response is: “What did it say?”
Never assume that everyone is a pacifist.
If human beings made a concerted, conscious effort to treat each and every person they encountered with an equal amount of civility, consideration, and respect – regardless of gender, age, race, religion, sexual orientation, background, socioeconomic status, etc – planet Earth would be a much more harmonious place.
The mainstream is like a rapacious empire. It invades and usurps then rapes and pillages until nearly every trace of purity, substance, and value has been depleted. Then it tosses back the defiled remains to the rightful owners and moves on to the next conquest.
There is nothing more damaging to the spirit than being forced to feign respect for someone you detest, especially when your livelihood depends on it.
Congenital insubordination can be an occupational hazard.
It’s easy to be an armchair adviser, and just as easy to have a change of heart once you’ve been directly or indirectly subjected to whatever it is you’re opining about.
If the solar system carrying our planet moves in an independent astronomical orbit, is it possible that this greater celestial motion can produce a cycle that affects life and consciousness on a grand scale?
Oprah Winfrey is a pathological megalomaniac who is subliminally indoctrinating the women of America. One day, she will press a giant red button prompting her gullible acolytes to viciously castrate and exterminate MANkind.
The inimitable Stefan Gruel...
The equally inimitable Mary Cigarettes...
Susana Medina’s Buñuel’s Philosophical Toys...
My Candidate for President...
Who I'd like to meet:
MY DOOR IS OPEN TO:
The Phantom Defecator who dumped the steaming mound in front of the ICM building on Wilshire Boulevard circa mid-January 2007. Hands down, one of the most gloriously just sights I have ever beheld.
Genuine independent thinkers who follow their own instincts rather than trends and guidelines dictated by THE MACHINES. Anyone who is inherently loyal, tolerant, considerate, empathetic, and above all, sincere. I honestly don’t give a shite what you look like, where (or if) you went to school, what you do for a living, or how much money you make. Superficial minutiae does not determine one’s value as a human being.
It has been some time since we last "spoke". Keep up the good work and thank you fro doing so. With out question there will come a time when repression will become so severe that we will find ourselves thrown on the ramparts of Liberety. I will see you there. Steven
We Wish You a Merry♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...
Dire , COULD'NT GET ACCESS TO THE PARTY, BUT,HOPE IT WENT WELL. I GOT THE WORD ,THIS MORNING , THAT LEGS MCNEIL AND MICKEY LEIGH ARE IN TOWN , AND WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED. THEIR POORLY - PUBLICIZED BOOK READING IS TOMMORROW NIGHT.I LEFT THE STORE AND LEGS' MYSPACE MY INFO , BUT I DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ANYONE BY THEN. THEY'LL PROBABLY GET A GOOD TURNOUT , BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT. I'M ALSO SPINNING A SHORT SET OF MEXICAN ROCK 'N'ROLL at a club THAT'S NEAR THE BOOKSTORE WHERE THEIR READING IS......John.
the magazine...it's STUNNINGLY good..i'm still in the thick of it..but every layer and contribution is world class....i'm gobsmacked at how good it is.
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