Dirty Weekend is about celebrating romance and sexy fun.
Whether you're a woman, or you're buying for a woman, Dirty Weekend Shop is
where you'll find the perfect accessories for your intimate romantic interlude,
your weekend away or bucks or hens night.
Dirty Weekend has been developed to represent what women are - fun, sensual,
romantic and sexy!
You'll find a wonderful range for romance; scents, tastes and sensations to
delight the senses; games for groups and games for couples; undies for girls
and guys; a fabulous range of pampering products; and a huge selection of fun
items for hens night.
If its sensual, if its romantic, if it's sexy, its at Dirty Weekend.
Some Sexy Quotes:
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that
women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd
better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
The modern girls fairy tale:
Once upon a time In a land far, far away
A beautiful, independent Self-assured princess
Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pool
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess's lap
And said: Elegant lady
I was once a handsome prince
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me
One kiss from you, however
And I will turn back
Into the dapper young prince that I am
And then, my sweet, we can marry
And set up housekeeping in your castle
With my mother
Where you can prepare my meals
Clean my clothes, bear my children
And forever
Feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night
As the princess dined sumptuously
On lightly sautéed frogs legs
Seasoned in a white wine
And onion cream sauce
She chuckled and thought to herself
I don't frikking think so.
Cinderella
wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella
sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide
Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 A.M. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into
a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 A.M. The appointed hour comes and goes,
and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally at 5:00 A.M. Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother.
"Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell
me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .Peter, Peter, something or other.."
... author unknown
Advice from a Man ...
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only
one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from
being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your
old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should
let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform
oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin.
Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him
is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank
him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is
a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing
young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing
home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being
away for a day or two (it is a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at
how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing
to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex
on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do
it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape
yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift.
To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training.
Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available
to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means
is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to
work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up
to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without
giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him
a nice meal.
...author unknown
MUSIC
FILMS
The
Sex Fairy Tells All ...
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific
tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen,
which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces
your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced
cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories
you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports
you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body.
It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression.
It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and
leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered.
The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.
IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.
Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of
the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches.
A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the
brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose.
Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
The original advice from the Sex Fairy is in a room in the basement of the Dwight
House Pub.
'Kidnap' and blindfold him/her; drive around town until she/he is definitely
lost; then reveal your destination: a favorite restaurant, or maybe a romantic
B&B!
Propose a toast complimenting him/her while out with friends.
Write them a love note, put it in a Love Capsule and put the Love Capsule
in their wallet for them to find during the day.
Watch the sunset together. Find a hill. Bring a picnic. It's better than
TV!
Post your partner a Lovers Gift Certificate for something you know would
make them happy.
Romantic Roses ...
Red roses proclaim "I love you."
Pale pink roses convey grace, gentleness, and gratitude.
A joy to behold, light pink roses express fun and happiness.
Deep pink roses say "Thank you."
Lilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with
the recipient and is enchanted.
Pure white roses symbolize truth and innocence.
Coral roses express desire.
Peach roses speak of appreciation, gratitude, and also sympathy.
Orange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender.
Yellow roses indicate friendship and freedom.
Dirty Weekend Suggestions ...
Drive several hours in any direction, find a town you've never been to
and book into a hotel. Do nothing except explore, eat and relax in your room.
Widen your horizons and spend the weekend somewhere with ocean views, a
spa bath and room service.
Hire a houseboat for a weekend and sail off down a river leaving everything
and everyone except your partner behind you.
Go somewhere with a four poster bed, hang a gift bag with a sexy suprise
in it from each post and open them over the course of the weekend.
Stay home for the weekend, stock up on treats like triple chocolate ice-cream,
caviar and cream cheese and suggest a picnic in bed. No crockery/cutlery allowed.
Get back to nature. Find a secluded cabin away from everything and with
no mobile phone signal and do whatever comes naturally for a weekend.
Make them feel like royalty and take your partner to a five star venue
with every luxury laid on.
Give your partner a big chunky sex manual along with a pledge to dedicate
at least one weekend a month to practical study of the book.
Wait for your partner to come home, when they do, blindfold them, put them
in the car and take them away for a suprise Dirty Weekend!
Love Foods ...
Over the centuries many foods have developed a reputation as aphrodisiacs.
Some of the favourite love foods include:
Chocolate
Basil
Oysters
Honey
Black Licorice
Champagne
One for the Boys ...
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
What time is it at Dirty Weekend? ...
It's always time for romance and sexy fun! Rev up your love-life, visit the Dirty Weekend Shop!
What Do You Want To See In Your Mans Pants?
...
Enjoy our jigsaw puzzle!
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We hope you had a Merry Christmas. We would like to thank you for your support throughout 2008. Have a safe and happy holiday season. Keep in touch and know that we are coming your way in '09!!!
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