Captain Boner
"Fiber is an important part of my daily diet. When you talk out of your ass as much as I do, it's important not to be constipated."

Female
24 years old
West Jordan, Utah
United States



Last Login: 10/11/2008
Mood: cold Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Captain Boner

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/dollandchain  



    Captain Boner's Interests
GeneralLoud music, the internet, comics, coffee, beer, philosophy, religion, society, geekwarez, video games, zombie folklore, personal experiences, and poopy jokes.
MusicI enjoy punk rock, hardcore, and occasionally electro. Sometimes jazz. And I've been seen going to a few of those weird indie rock shows at the Urban Lounge.
MoviesLately, I can't get enough of really bad movies from the 80's and 90's. They're awesome on Saturday and Sunday mornings when you're all cranky and hungover.
TelevisionInternets.
BooksI'm a fast reader with a short attention span, and my taste in type of books vary. I'm mostly versed in Kurt Vonnegut, Stephen King, David Sedaris, Chuck Palahniuk, and HP Lovecraft... and some others that I'm sure I'm not remembering right now. Recent authors I've been reading are Howard Zinn, Kenzaburo Oe, Albert Camus, CS Lewis, and Robert Heinlein.
HeroesI'm my own fucking hero.

     Captain Boner's Details
Status:In a Relationship
Here for:Friends
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:Los Angeles, CA
Body type:5' 2" / Average
Ethnicity:Asian
Religion:Atheist
Zodiac Sign:Pisces
Smoke / Drink:Yes / Yes
Children:I don't want kids
Education:College graduate
Occupation:scumbag

   Captain Boner's Schools
University Of California-Berkeley
Berkeley, CA
Graduated: 2006
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Linguistics
 

2006 to 2006
University Of California-Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara, CA
Graduated: 2006
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Lingustics
 

2004 to 2006
Santa Monica College
Santa Monica, CA
Graduated: 2004
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Associate's Degree
Major: Broadcasting/Communications
 

2002 to 2004
Cerritos College
Norwalk, CA
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Major: Anthropology? I forget.
 

2001 to 2002
Cornelia Connelly School
Anaheim, CA
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Other
 

1999 to 2001



Captain Boner stupid allergies...

Captain Boner's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Forget my name and I’ll forget it too  (view more)

Bringing sexy back. Or awkward back, in my case.  (view more)

Baby, I’m an Anarchist!  (view more)

Just a quickie  (view more)

My double helix is full of dominants, baby. You can’t mess with THIS!  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Captain Boner's Blurbs
About me:
How I describe myself:
I'm tempestuous, and I drink a lot. I also know how to knit.

How other's have described me
"You're the most white-washed asian i know!"--JP
"She's very humble"--Angelica
"You're an asshole"--Dawn
"Helena's one of the most brutally honest people we know. She can dish it out, and take it. That's how we've always known her." (or something to that effect)--Lonnie
"You're such a spaz"--Jessica
"I wouldn't mess with her"--Megan
"Helena's definitely got the 'hip' thing going on for her."--Dave
"You're a really sick girl, you know that?"--Erik
"You are so immature!"--Scott
"that Helena, man, she doesn't take guff from anyone!"-The Boggs
"You're the grossest chick I've ever met."--Togah
"Damn, you are lewd"--Johnny Qwest
"Laney pooped on my chest and it only cost me a dollar! Thanks, Ex-Lax!" --Soup
"You have an amazing ability to mix cute and scary."--Richard
"Jesus, you have issues."--Joe
"You are truly unique."--Denny
"You're really goofy."--Troy
"I'm pretty sure that a part of your heritage is composed of retard."--Eric
"You are the worst vegetarian ever!"--Jesse
"I've eaten with Helena, I've talked about dildos with Helena...you never want to eat with Helena"--Farnosh
"Wait, wait, wait... you play video games? So let me get this straight. You're a cute Asian girl, with a whiplash sense of humor, AND you play video games? Christ, Laney, you're like, every straight guy's wet dream."--Matt
"Laney's badass! She's like a dude. Except sexy."--Dan

More to come as I pay attention to what people say around me.
Who I'd like to meet:
My doppelganger.

AIM is LaneysAIMname
MSN is hxchungls@hotmail.com

   Captain Boner's Friend Space (Top 8)
Captain Boner has 173 friends.
 Chimmi Dizzle 


 J. M. Blackfriend 


 ~* Meg *~ 


 Robby 


 pooperton 


 Electric Fields of the Sun 


 scott whitney 


 dabast 





Captain Boner's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 354 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 12 2008 3:39 AM

Your MOTHER was in Japan last night.

Oh wait, she was.
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 11 2008 8:07 PM

Precious like YOUR MOM.

LAST NIGHT!

She's a very classy lady. We ate cookies and gave each other high fives.

Actually, that's a fucking lie.
Casey





Oct 11 2008 2:56 AM

www. moondogmusic. com

This is a site I created, a music label which my father owns. I run and maintain the website. My own music (ralp) is on the site, as well as my brother (Dylan Fritz) and my father (Franko Fritz) and we have single songs for purchase as well as albums, and t-shirts. Check it out, and listen to the streaming songs free.
If you do browse the pages, please do vote on your favorite song :)
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 11:03 PM

It's where two bros take off their pants and cuddle really close to each other so their dicks touch their tummies. It's my favorite thing to do.
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 10:47 PM

Yeah. Me and the bros like to rub our dicks together. To keep warm. We also play tummy sticks.
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 10:13 PM

Okay, good. 'Cause my dick has touched a lot of dick, but I ain't gay or nothin'.
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 9:53 PM

Is it gay if the dicks are touching?
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 9:50 PM

LET'S PICK EACH OTHER'S NOSES!

USE YOUR DICK! I WANNA SMELL IT!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 9:47 PM

Not a whole lot.
NOW FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 9:43 PM

THE LEFT NOSTRIL IS FOR HOT LOVIN' ONLY!!!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 8:56 PM

In the ASS!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 6:21 PM

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 2:25 AM

And you're damn right! Tomorrow I'm going on tour with Against Me!, Green Day, and Chumbawamba and I'm gonna beat off furiously every time someone calls me that!
Electric Fields of the Sun





Oct 10 2008 2:24 AM

'eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

WHAT'S UP!?!?!?!?Eji4e4thiue4hg
pooperton





Oct 9 2008 6:34 AM

i full on cussed these two kids that came to my house once..

it was a sat morning at like 8 am or some such ungodly hour after a night of drinking, my mom already left for work, my sister was at her friends or something, so i was just wanting to sleep and nurse a hangover (the old days when i used to actually drink and by drink i mean walking around with a bottle of jack) so i was pissed, esp since they rang the door bell like 3 times.. since then until last week ive never had one come to my house, at least when i was home, even though id see em walking by all the time... so im sure that and the fact that we have always been the family with the really fucked up gory as fuck halloween decor. probably kept them at bay for awhile.
pooperton





Oct 8 2008 5:54 PM

couple mornings ago i had just gotten out of the shower and i hear the door bell.. so i throw on some boxers and answer the door, low and behold some witness's finally had to balls to come back to my house, must have been some noobs, since they always happen to avoid my house prob due to a past encounter i had with some assholes that came to my house, but thats another story. anyways, they started teh whole deal and i just had a big grin on my face because mind you i had random viking metal blaring through the house and the current song was about slaying a village or some such thang...pretty sure they noticed cause i just got a really odd look from them and they got through about half their prepared speech and just put a pamplet on my door and walked away...
pooperton





Oct 8 2008 7:14 AM



MЯ. Shaun





Oct 1 2008 10:27 PM

Damn Mormons.
Amanda Lee





Sep 20 2008 7:38 PM

No way! All you guys are going to need now is an abolishment of beer o'clock and some PBR 40's. Ooh. And kegs. I love kegs.
Amanda Lee





Sep 20 2008 6:11 PM

What a lovely find!

I'm well, I think.
How are you? How is the good old SLC?
pooperton





Sep 20 2008 5:11 AM

well stop trying to be sooooo hardcore and get back at the man by being so self destructive

peh!

<3
joe meh!





Sep 17 2008 4:06 AM

i'm laying low, but yeah i'd be down to hang out with ya =) message me your number (i lost my phone a while back.
)
joe meh!





Sep 16 2008 10:58 PM

you seriously need to work out why you have such a colon obsession.
I Togah





Sep 12 2008 6:16 PM

Support your local Sundowners Sucka!!!!
pooperton





Aug 19 2008 7:14 AM

still alive?
pooperton





Aug 3 2008 3:31 AM

actually that zombie in question miiight be that of the tattoo asian variety that goes by the name michael tran...

but its hard to tell since they both have similar hair.
Robby





Jul 30 2008 1:52 AM

okay who forgot to tell me if she safely made it to the air port

and when she took off into the skies

and god willing when she landed

... but did she remember to smoke...

yeah you're in big trouble girl
pooperton





Jul 25 2008 10:27 AM

youre passed out drunk in my guest room...

i should soooo tea bag you right now!

bleh.. too bad i have to be up in like 3 hrs or some shit


lame
pooperton





Jul 21 2008 5:55 PM

thaaats right!

:]
pooperton





Jul 21 2008 5:49 PM

ohhh im not worried, cause if you did, revenge would be swift and everlasting
pooperton





Jul 21 2008 6:55 AM

no.. NEVER.. i will never acquire a taste for those evil little black death balls... to this day just teh smell makes me nauseous...

but im down for garlic..

but fuck yo olives!
pooperton





Jul 21 2008 6:42 AM

ive never tried the green ones, but considering how badly sick and nauseated the blacky's make me, i refuse to even try them!

eww ew ewwwww!
pooperton





Jul 21 2008 5:20 AM

i hate olives... esp those of the black variety..

yeah thats right im a olive racist..

just the smell of those blacky olives makes me sick!

you like olives = me hate you!

:0~
WNB- trying out drummers come try out!





Jul 15 2008 10:56 PM

thanks for adding us, ENJOY AND GET LOW!
LOVE WNB
pooperton





Jun 28 2008 8:43 AM

lies lies lies...

im pretty sure youve got a bigger cock than me

or im just a huuuge bitch

yeah, its prob the bitch thing

oh well
Closenosh





Jun 28 2008 6:46 AM

Farnosh describing Helena: "I've eaten with Helena, I've talked about dildos with Helena...you never want to eat with Helena"
pooperton





Jun 27 2008 5:24 PM

aww.. ur lil owl peektur is cute...

someone musta hacked yo shit... caues youre too manly for that shit!!
Johnny ®





Jun 20 2008 6:33 PM

Thanks Bro! I been listening to a lot of neo-metal/rap shiz lately. I feel so much better with this identity crisis going on. Gettin a lifted Dodge Cummings next week so I complete the crisis.
~* Meg *~





Jun 17 2008 4:09 PM

its ok.
and i will email you my phone number
pooperton