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Doug Stanhope
"Cruel & Unusual Comedy"

Male
41 years old
At the Safehouse, Bisbee, ARIZONA
United States



Last Login: 7/5/2008
Mood: savage Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Doug Stanhope

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/dougstanhope  

   Doug Stanhope's Comedian Bio
Websitedougstanhope.com
FilmsThe Aristocrats!

    Doug Stanhope's Interests
GeneralStealing from the rich and giving to the stupid. Convincing you to change your mind. Abusing the audience.

Coke once or twice a month to compliment a good story and fair amount of hallucinogens to keep order.

Figuring out how to drop out of society. Thrift stores. The desert, especially the interior of Nevada.

Stray animals. Sitting in bars and complaining about how nobody does anything anymore. A pro-bono dominatrix with a poor choice of wine.

Revolution, prison reform, conspiracy theories and beating incredible odds.

Costa Rica. Love. Wondering how it all got so tragically fucked up.

MusicI hate music. I only steal it off Limewire to shame it.

But if I have to listen to it, I'd go with Counting Crows, Warren Zevon, Tim Curry, Pink Floyd or Neil Diamond. Yes, I like Neil Diamond. Go fuck yourself.

MoviesBrazil, The Ninth Confirguration, Fight Club, Bad Santa, The Fashionistas.,Office Space, The Dark Backward, The Life Aquatic. Requiem for a Dream makes me laugh over and over.

Must See documentaries - Why We Fight, Fog of War, Devil and Daniel Johnston, Paradise Lost, The Staircase.

TelevisionDeadwood. History Channel for sleeping, CNN for rage. South Park and The Simpsons obviously. Trading Spouses without an apology. NFL if I have money on the game and I always have money on the game.
BooksHunter S Thompson, Charles Bukowski. Irvine Welsh. Howard Bloom. Aldous Huxley. Timothy Leary. Jim Goad. Terence Mckenna. Christopher Hitchens. Mostly non-fiction. And I forget everything I read within days.

You Are Being Lied To is probably the most important book I have read. www.disinfo.com

HeroesGreg Chaille, Brian Hennigan, Billy Badd & Colleen Coadic

     Doug Stanhope's Details
Status:Single
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:Worcester, Mass
Body type:0' 0"
Ethnicity:White / Caucasian
Religion:Atheist
Zodiac Sign:Aries
Smoke / Drink:Yes / Yes
Children:I don't want kids
Occupation:Smoker


Doug Stanhope's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 4 Total Plays: 139407 Plays Today: 5
Doug Stanhope - Dead Fetus Photo
Doug Stanhope - Dead Fetus Photo rating
Two Headed Baby
Two Headed Baby rating
Stanhope on Drugs
Stanhope on Drugs rating
Stanhope on Freedom
Stanhope on Freedom rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Jul 18 2008 8:00P
Cafe Chaos - Montreal Montreal
Jul 19 2008 8:00P
Cafe Chaos Montreal
Jul 31 2008 9:00P
Walter’s on Washington - Houston, TX Houston TX
Aug 1 2008 9:00A
Speeds - Dallas, TX Dallas TX
Aug 2 2008 8:00P
Antone’s in Austin Austin
Aug 8 2008 10:30P
Comedy, Tennessee - Memphis, TN memphis TN
Aug 9 2008 9:00P
The Earl - Atlanta, GA ATL GA
Sep 13 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 14 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre, London London
Sep 15 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 16 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 17 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 18 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 19 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 20 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Sep 21 2008 8:00P
The Arts Theatre - London London
Oct 16 2008 8:00P
Ottobar - Baltimore Baltimore MD
Oct 17 2008 8:00P
The Milestone - Charlotte, NC Charlotte NC
Oct 18 2008 8:00P
Trocadero - Philly Philadelphia
Nov 5 2008 8:00P
The Vue - Clermont, FL Clermont FL
Nov 8 2008 8:00P
Crowbar - Tampa Tampa FL
Nov 14 2008 7:00P
Winston’s - Ocean Beach, CA Ocean Beach CA
Nov 21 2008 8:00P
Sets - Phoenix. AZ Phoenix AZ
Nov 22 2008 8:00P
Club Congress - Tucson, AZ Tucson AZ

Doug Stanhope's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Heads Up, Texas - Houston, Dallas, Austin  (view more)

Los Angeles - July 25th & 26th! Dont Fuck This Up!  (view more)

My Website Forum is Back & All New  (view more)

2008 Road Dates...  (view more)

London in September... Montreal in July  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Doug Stanhope's Blurbs
About me:
I am a comic, a drunk and lover of losers. Losers have the best stories and all the empathy.

I am old and soft in the middle. I think I'm the oldest guy on MySpace. Touch my belly. Go ahead, touch it. Squishy like summer dog shit.

I am a road pig, I travel doing stand-up of a cruel and unusual sort, feeding on chaos in a world where adrenaline seems to be a controlled substance.

I play all over the country and all over the world in a lot of shitholes. Shitholes are my favorite places to be. I might be playing down the street from you right now. Check the calendar or my road dates blog.

If you only know me from television, then you aren't familiar with what I do. Television is shit but you take easy money when you can. Live shows are the only true freedom of speech left. Get out of the house. We will only be alive for so long and no good stories ever came from your couch or getting up on time for work.

I add all who ask and some that didn't. I join every group that invites me and a lot that would rather not have me. Fuck em. I cant respond to every comment or email, but I do to most and I appreciate them all.

If I've tried adding you and you don't know me, it's because I think you'll get what I do. Most people don't but I've seen what is popular in this country and I'd have to second-guess myself if I were part of it. I don't know why I added you. Maybe it's because you're a drunk, a freak, bi-polar, angry, disillusioned with it all, funny, irrational, impressionable, burdened or simply hot. Who doesn't like hot?

Whatever it was, I ain't trying to bang you. I have enough problems. I have hooker money and my life is still a shambles.

Find my stuff on YouTube. Steal my stuff off of Limewire and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn em and share em.

Then come to the show.

More at Doug Stanhope.com


DougStanhope.com

Who I'd like to meet:
Human Oddities. Persons of dubious integrity. All those people you once knew who disappeared into the cracks. Drinkers who don't care when you forget their names. Everyone who has becomed bored with society as we know it.

Quiet geniuses. People whose politics aren't limited to two points of view. Libertarians and Libertines. Fuck-ups who don't apologize for their behavior. Angry bi-trendy girls who say not to add them to your friends list unless you're a chick.

The people who put Jesus and Santa and the law in the same rubbish pail.

Girls I slept with back when I had a fantastic mullet and not a care in the world.

People who don't look that good in real life. Fat men in jumpsuits. Sidewalk queers and the terminally ill.

The handful that get it.

Champions.


   Doug Stanhope's Calendar ( View All )
Aug 2 2008 8:00P
Antone’s - Austin, TX @ Austin

   Doug Stanhope's Friend Space (Top 23)
Doug Stanhope has 42688 friends.
 Satan 


 Brendon Walsh 


 Mishka Shubaly 


 RICK SHAPIRO 


 bingo 


 Sean Rouse 


 Joe Rogan 


 Joey Coco Diaz 


 Henry Phillips 


 Dave Attell 


 Bill Burr 


 James Inman 


 Troy Baxley 


 THE MATTOID 


 Tom Rhodes 


 Andy Andrist 


 TODD BARRY 


 Brian Potrafka 


 Jim Norton 


 Lynn Shawcroft 


 Louis CK 


 Neil Hamburger 


 Brett Erickson 





Doug Stanhope's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 14918 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
anti-folk hero





Jul 6 2008 9:08 PM

Dude, you need to check out Porn for the Blind. You ought to record one of the website descriptions. Its for a good cause, after all!

http://www. pornfortheblind. org/
sOuL II SqUEezE





Jul 6 2008 3:39 PM

Can't wait to see you in Houston!!

xxxx
Rudy





Jul 6 2008 3:12 PM

DOUG!!

Finally going to see you in Austin on Aug. 2nd!!! Can't wait!

Rudy
Leo





Jul 6 2008 11:24 AM

Ted Sky





Jul 6 2008 8:51 AM

This is, ummm, accurate, and funny..Barak The Magic Negro
Arashikage





Jul 6 2008 1:09 AM

brendan walsh is funnier than he should be.

thank you for introducing him to me.
Sheila





Jul 5 2008 7:04 PM

Hey just wanted to know if you got those awesome Hawaiian cookies? Doug and Bingo rock! Drunk Sheila talking again!
Neil Hutchison





Jul 5 2008 2:23 AM

Yea the Arts Theatre finally you doing england see you on the 20th,we will be in row E getting shitty on a bottle of yegamister
Dani and Greg





Jul 4 2008 9:00 PM

Onderdonk wishes you and yours well.
4th of July
Vampie Oodles





Jul 4 2008 4:42 PM

Thanks for stepping up for Betty. I had planned on voting for her beause of her environmental views & because she speaks her mind, but this article absolutely cements it! Let her know, I'd like to help on the election! http://cannabisnews. com/news/4/thread4396. shtml, friggin' hilarious! Nice booking in London, must be chocked full of Stanophiles!
windowlicker





Jul 4 2008 12:23 PM

Jen





Jul 4 2008 11:22 AM

Happy 4th of July!
More Comments and Myspace Layouts at pYzam. com


VEGAS 702





Jul 4 2008 11:06 AM

Happy 4th of july!
¤ maca ¤





Jul 4 2008 6:44 AM

u really are the shit .. i can't believe i haven't made it to bisbee yet. it's driving me nuts. i miss driving too. my honda is in her typical summer coma.

have a great parade!

wish i could be there.
m
Unlawful Enemy Combatant





Jul 4 2008 4:01 AM

Independence


Don’t talk to me about Freedom or Democracy
Because it’s all a mockery, a scam of their hypocrisy
In a land controlled and run by the elite and very wealthy
Genetically modifying our lives to be “healthy”, oh Lord help me
You know it’s true you just don’t want to admit it
That we’ve long since been bought & sold, lied to and bullshitted
Our men and women are dying in wars overseas
Just to feed the infection of political greed, and there is no need
But that’s ok as long as we have all of our distracting gadgets,
Broadband, iPhones, holidays and beauty pageants
It’s getting easier to sell us those lies, with no surprize
We’ve become apathetic, fearful & sterilized
And their stranglehold is ever-increasing
As we surrender our lives and liberties for the final fleecing
Yeah, Happy 4th of July to the Red, White and Blue
But it should really be Red, White and Screwed, and you know it too
Nine trillion in debt, those are some dire hurts
Let’s see ‘em fix that with hot dogs, beer and fireworks!



threethirteen

July 4, 2008.
Shawn Charles McLean, 2Lt., CAP, US Air Force Aux





Jul 4 2008 3:54 AM

See... I know this girl, right? Well, she is a really great friend of mine, and today is her birthday. Ive known her for a long time, and she has always stuck to a flawless set of morals, being an inspiration to everyone she comes into contact with. She is open-minded, careing, and devoted in every sense of the word.

I look up to her, and honestly, its difficult not to... Because, from heel to head, she is 111 feet, 1 inches tall!

With flesh and bone of copper and steel, she is beautiful.

She... is Liberty.





Today, her day, this 4th of July, we both do wish that you, Doug, our good mutual friend, simply spend your day with peace of mind, and with your much deserved Freedom.

Be safe, be well, do well.
Coegi per santimonia. May Illa nunquam fio flere.

Shawn Charles "Biggy Slow" McLean, 2Lt.
, Civil Air Patrol, United States Air Force Auxiliary
Aim





Jul 4 2008 12:38 AM

Have a happy fourth. It's my birthday and I think it's all about me. Usually is anyway, but this is just an excuse to really be egocentric. Enjoy.
♠ Ace Boogie ♠