Keeping food in my belly and the rent on my lair paid up. Earning back my abilities through service to God and Man. Solving mysteries. Preventing Interdimensional Armagheddon and saving the Universes on an all-too regular basis.
Music
Humans listen to a lot of noise. Dragon ears are different from humans, so I pick up a lot more. I'm not especially fond of anything involving too mcuh technology. Of course, my favorite is anything sung by my partner, Sister Grace of Our Lady of the Miracles. Bliss.
Movies
You have no idea. I'm immortal, for crying out loud! I treasure novel entertainment almost as much as precious gems. Having said that I'm not especially interested in artsy, angst-filled stories that explore the human condition. I'm not human. In fact, back-in-the-day, I'd have been glad to put such people out of their misery.
Same goes for romance. Human courtship and mating are not of interest to me. Except where they may result in the loss of my lunch or my treasure. Such things tend to end as tragedy rather than romance, however.
Television
sci fi. mystery. history. and science. Reluctantly, the news because in my line of work, you need to keep up on events. Got to take it in small amounts, though. You humans can blather on about the most inconsequential events. Perspective, people.
Books
You name it, I'll read it, with some exceptions--romance, erotica, and expose' are out. Oh, and if I decide it's badly written, I'm not wasting my time. I wouldn't call myself a book burner, per se, but the bad ones are handy for target practice.
Heroes
St. George of Faerie. God bless him, the magically overpowered pain in the tail.
Sister Grace, my best friend and the most courageous human I've ever met, next to George.
They're not my heroes, but I have a grudging respect for people who can face my fury without soiling themselves.
About me: I'm Vern, a professional problem solver in two universes, thanks to the interdimensional Gap that opened between your world--lately known as the "Mundane" and don't blame me 'cause I didn't name it--and my world--now known as "Faerie" and I'll thank you not to snicker. Yeah, I'm a Faerie. A North African Faerie Wyvern. Yes, a for-real dragon, though you should have seen me back when I had my full size and abilities. That's a story for another page. Suffice to say events have brought me to your world, to this job, and it seems to be where I'm needed. (And no, that's not my photo in the corner. Aaron Williams drew that for Dragon Magazine and kindly let me post it here. He's a funny guy. Check out his stuff at www.nodwick.com.)
Sister Grace, my partner, is a High Church Mage of the Faerie Catholic Church. Yes, she does magic. No, I don't want to hear your sermonizing that magic is evil. We all have one God, but He made the rules of our universe just a little different than yours. You'd better be glad of it, too. She's done more than her fair share of saving lives, fighting demons and generally keeping both our universes safe for all God's creatures and she's used magic to do it.
We'll handle just about any case that pays, and being a dragon, I'm not particular about what I get paid. Cash or carrion, I'm your dragon. We've handled simple cases like lost pets, and we've solved murders and kidnappings. We've saved the multiverse a few times. We've even done all three at once. Hey, when you've got the wisdom of the ages and the experience of eternity, you can multi-task.
For the most part, our business centers around Los Lagos, home of the Gap between our dimensions, but we've been known to branch out. Even solved a mystery in Disneyworld. As more Faerie immigrate to your world, however, there may be a greater need for our unique services elsewhere--hence, this website.
You know, I'll probably add a primer on the Faerie/Mundane world. Little things like brownies won't clean your house for milk. Stuff that might keep your people and mine safer--and keep me from being called "dinosaur."
By the way--if you see any typos on this site, feel free to drop me an e-mail. In addition to having to spell in a foreign language with as many exceptions as rules, I've got claws bigger than your fingers. Even with a virtual keyboard, I make a lot of typos.
Hey: Vern, I heard you found an artist brave enough to work with you on your new book. Congrats. I am sure this mundane must have some serious qualifications. I also heard you gave her a hard time. I guess when someone is as great as you are, then, you can ask whatever...
Wishing you the brightest and best New Year yet! May all your dreams come true.
Our dragon hatchling is really looking forward to the New Year celebrations. If you get a chance, stop on by the Destineers website and say hello. You may want to check out the Cybrarie forum on the site - there's usually something going on in there! Happy New Year!
