"The King of Shreds..." RIKI V. STORMRIDER
guitar/backup vocals
"Master of Disguise..." EMILIO SCRAPPY COCO
drums
"Bassist, question mark...?" BURN McNASTY
bass
Influences
Thin Lizzy, Asphyx, GG Allin, Hall & Oates, Deicide, Accept, Death, Guns N' Roses, Venom, Iron Maiden, Hollowpoint Panic, Maggot Feast, S.O.D., Mozart, Cock & Ball Torture, Bach, Van Halen, Queen, Spike Jones, Carnal Dissection, The Misfits, GWAR, Sororicide, Decrepitaph, Tenacious D, Slayer, The Darkness, Salt n' Pepa, Space Ghost, Allan Sherman, Genesis, Coffins, Autopsy, bums that hang out on the street and play Saxophone versions of "Train Kept A Rollin'" for quarters, Graven, Dark Angel, Assuck, Anal Cunt, people that make stupid animal sounds, Krapper Keeper, Down, Dethklok, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Queensryche, Spinal Tap, everyone in the world who's first name is Ed, Quincy Jones
Sounds Like
"[Similar to] A wisdom of spotted owls flying into a giant fan at a PETA meeting. People being turned inside out, but forced to stay alive and run around with their meat and so-forth on the outside... If you'd like to lower your self-worth or possibly get fired, check out the story. " Stereokiller.com
YOU CAN CALL THE D.F. HOTLINE @ 617-899-2680 TO GET A COPY.
CD RELEASE = THIS JANUARY IN BOSTON
FUCK DOUBLE ALBUMS, WE ARE MAKING A QUADRUPLE ALBUM COMING IN 2010.
WE ARE RE-RELEASING 2008'S "SEXY PIG ROAST." IT WILL BE RE-MASTERED IN PHYSICAL CD FORMAT W/ BONUS TRACKS.
NEW "BURGER DIARIES" VIDEOS ARE UP
DID YOU KNOW?: FRANK BEARD WAS THE ONLY GUY IN ZZ TOP THAT DIDN'T HAVE A BEARD.
NEXT PERFORMANCE: MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2009
THE STORY BEHIND DYSLEXIC FUDGICLE
(as told by G.Burgermeister):
Dyslexic Fudgicle was formed in 1864, during the Civil War (at least according to our Wikipedia page, which was deleted in late 2008). Personally, I don't remember much that occurred prior to 1978, so I'll start there. I was born in a log cabin somewhere. I can't tell you exactly where, because I don't remember it that well. My cat told me it was in Salem, MA, but either way, anywhere I travelled to, I always lived in the woods. I lived in a small, wooded area for several years in Bad Water, California (Death Valley region). I didn't have much going on over there, but the one thing I enjoyed was music. I began practicing death metal style growls after finding a boombox in the woods. I didn't have much cash (obviously) so I would often kidnap hookers, dress them up as nuns and sell them to the local convent, which just so happened to be an illegal, unsanctioned, underground retirement home for old American Gladiators interviewers who needed nuns to pass as the image of the convent they were disguising themself as. It worked out well, with the money I made, I was able to afford cassettes of some of my favorite bands (Autopsy, Venom, Dark Angel, Carnal Dissection, Hobbs' Angel Of Death, etc.). Eventually, around 1989, I was able to unload a reasonable death metal growl. The original intent was to impress Sabina Classen of Holy Moses. This didn't work, as she was not at all interested. I forget the reason. Something about me not wanting to swim to Germany or only being 11 years old at the time or something stupid like that. Anygay, I decided to use my new found death growl ability to try and join a band. In 1993, I found myself in Attleboro, Massachusetts. I was minding my own business, trying to burn down the Home Depot, when suddenly, from out of nowhere, Jay Leno appeared, happily skipping up and down the streets, screaming the lyrics to Obituary's "Chopped In Half." Naturally, he wanted to act out the words to the song, so before I knew what was happening, I was a victim of John Tardy's lack of philosophical lyricism. After being chopped in half by Jay Leno, he dumped me (upper torso) onto Vincent Locke's front yard. If you know who Vincent Locke is (he's a zombie/gore illustrator who also designed the artwork for each of Cannibal Corpse's album covers), I bet you can guess what happened next.... That's right, that is me on the cover of "Tomb Of The Mutilated." There I am on the floor in the album cover. Cunnilingus. I suppose it was flattering, but I didn't really have a sense of humor about it until the bottom half of my body grew back. In 1997, I came across a unique find while attending a Fish & Chips convention in Boston.... a cell phone that reversed the outcome of the Civil War every time it rang. Now, since I live in the woods, this really didn't seem all that weird to me. All I really knew was that there was a ton of fancy, Amish repelling technology out there that I didn't really understand, so I simply thought this was just another new electric toy that was beyond my understanding. When I finally realized how unusual this device was, I realized that I should probably shut it off. I think it was for the best, because every time slavery came back, I caught a lot of crap from people who heard me ask how the hell President Jefferson Davis' face made it onto Mt. Rushmore. The last thing the phone told me was to enroll at Fitchburg State College, which I did in the fall of 2001. I began that journey in Mara Village and majored in Owl Fishing, but by mid 2003, I was known as the troglodyte at the top of Russell Towers. I wasn't used to living in-doors, so I would still spend a lot of time outside, mostly in the woods as I was indigenous to it. One day, I ran into a notorious San Franciso drug addict.... He had a pierced face and was wearing, flaming pentagram tattoos, corpse paint and a Jimmy Stuart hoodie. His name was Nickelsack. He was all about punk rock, metal and drugs. He too, had enrolled at Fitchburg State College and as it turned out, he had heard me wandering through the woods, screaming the lyrics to Dark Angels "Darkness Descends." He asked me to join his band, which we called Dyslexic Fudgicle!!!! He told me all about bands like Discharge, Leftover Crack, GG Allin and Motzart. I told him all about bands like Autopsy, Sororicide, Napalm Death and The Jim Lawler Experience. He then, indtroduced me to his guitarist.... the one and only Riki V. Stormrider!!! As soon as I met Riki, he asked me what I thought of Motley Crue. Normally, when someone mentions Motley Crue to me, I abruptly kick them in the balls and take a bite out of their jugular vein, but I could see this guy was cool. I heard he used to be in a legendary band called Savage Orchid. This guy could shred!!! We discussed our plans while attending a class taught by Dr. Jon Krasner, who caught our attention after telling us about a nightmare he had after hearing the Venom song "Sacrifice." The band was formed and we recorded our first demo. To let people know what to expect from our musical abilities, we named it "We're No Stratovarious." It became more like our first album. We wanted to follow it up with something big, but every time Nickelsack and I would attempt to attend band practice, we couldn't get close to Riki V, because the studio would be so packed with girls trying to meet/sleep with him. We wated for him to finish up an 11some he was having and decided to crash the MTV music video awards. All that really got accomplished was a lot of drug doing and cutting off the face and slapping the skull of Andy Dick. We continued to record music. Next came the Rock Star EP in early 2004, where at some point on one of the songs, the word 'chicken' is uttered. Fat & Alive would follow as well as the Amphibious Tombstone EP, The Holy Grail EP all in 2005 and the self-titled full-length was released in 2006 after we enlisted the help of producer and guitar lightning storm like thunder-wizardry of Yanni Diningwe Thunder. We were happy with our success. Nickelsack was the producer, engineer and lead drug-doer. He got an idea when he got a paper cut on his hand and opium came out of the wound.... He bought himself Tankard's old tour bus and filled it with drugs. There is just enough room for him in the driver's seat, so he can drive where he wants, but he's always alone because every other square inch of the bus is filled with drugs. Riki V. Stormrider had himself a house built out of blonde supermodels and I bought myself a really nice section of the woods, close to Plymouth rock. Dyslexic Fudgicle was inactive for most of 2007, until all the original members met up in November at some strip joint called Zachary's down on Crap Cod. We decided it was time to get the Dyslexic Fudgicle machine moving again. Nickelsack began turning the knobs, laying down drum beats, bass lines and other slick producing.... Riki V. began shredding out some of the nastiest guitar solos, lead solos and rhythm solos this side of McDonalds'.... and I returned to growling and writing lyrics about owls, assassins, oat meal, fat people, onions, flying grizzly bears and my obsession with actress and former Baltimore Raven's cheerleader/former WWE diva, Stacy Keibler. We churned out what is considered by many to be our best work yet, Sexy Pig Roast in 2008 and if you've read this far, you probably know that you can download it 100% free from our MySpace website. The band has now begun preparing for a string of live shows. Tours that were launched in 2005 and 2003 were done capreciously and did not last more than a few shows each. We are now working on a full live line up as well as new music. Band-Aid.
VIDEOS
Dyslexic Fudgicle: Behind the Music, Next to the Band (2003)
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Hey what's up? This is all about Business. I got over 21000+ fans on here, so here sthe deal. If you could just check out my page and leave some feedback. Also whether you like what you here or not. Still pass my link on saying this dude ROCKS or this dude SUCKS I don't care. Either way your spreading my name, and it would still be appreciated. Because whether you like it or not. The people that your passing it on to. Have thier own minds, and can choose themselves if they like the music. So heres the link http:?/?/?www.?myspace.?com/rancidchild and in return I'll do the same. Whether I like it or not. I'll still pass your link on because again its just good business. Also just so you know I do get back to everyone. So please don't take this as spam. I'm just trying to network on a serious level.
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