About me:

When I was 40, l began cooking for hungry travelers who stopped at my service station in Corbin, Ky. I didn't have a restaurant then, but served folks on my own dining table in the living quarters of my service station. As more people started coming just for food, I moved across the street to a motel and restaurant that seated 142 people. Over the next nine years, I perfected my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices and the basic cooking technique that is still used today. My fame grew. Governor Ruby Laffoon made me a Kentucky Colonel in 1935 in recognition of my contributions to the state's cuisine. And in 1939, my establishment was first listed in Duncan Hines' "Adventures in Good Eating." Confident of the quality of my fried chicken, I devoted myself to the chicken franchising business that I started in 1952. I traveled across the country by car from restaurant to restaurant, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, I entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to me of a nickel for each chicken the restaurant sold. By 1964, I had more than 600 franchised outlets for my chicken in the United States and Canada. That year, I sold my interest in the U.S. company for $2 million to a group of investors including John Y. Brown Jr., who later was governor of Kentucky from 1980 to 1984. I remained a public spokesman for the company. In 1976, an independent survey ranked me as the world's second most recognizable celebrity. More than a billion of the my "finger lickin' good" chicken dinners are served annually. And not just in North America. My cooking is available in more than 80 countries and territories around the world. I swear to God that the story about a lady accidentally getting a fried rat in her 2-piece meal is complete and utter bullshit. Also, I am actually 116 years old, but this thing discriminates against anyone born before 1903.
IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A COMMENT, MAKE SURE YOU SAY SOMETHIN' ABOUT ME OR MY CHICKEN! I DON'T WANT ANY "THANKS FOR THE ADD" OR "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!" BULLSHIT, OR ANY HUGE IMAGES. DON'T BE A FUCKING MORON, THIS PAGE IS ABOUT ME. YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A HOT CHICKEN FAT ENEMA, DO YOU? FINALLY, I AM NOT ADDING OF YOU SORRY EMO OR GOTH FAG BOYS WITH YOUR PASTED-DOWN BLACK HAIR AND TOO-TIGHT DICKIES OR WHITE FACE PAINT! QUIT PRETENDING TO BE SAD ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL OR I'LL GIVE YOU A REAL REASON TO CRY WHEN I SHOVE MY PATENT LEATHER LOAFERS UP YOUR BUNGHOLE!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF- The Survey
Name	Harland
Birthday	9/8/1890
Birthplace	Henryville, IN
Current Location	KFCs across the globe
Eye Color	Grey
Hair Color	White
Height	5' 8"
Left handed or Right handed	right
Your Heritage	white
The shoes you wore today	patent white leather with a tassel
Your weakness	hot chicks covered in grease, or Kryptonite
Your fears	Have you seen Chicken Run?
Your perfect pizza	fried chicken
Goal you would like to achieve this year	Destroy PETA
Your most overused phrase on i/m	my druthers!
Thoughts first waking up	time to fry some chicken!
Your best physical feature	abs
Your bedtime	10:45 PM
Your most missed memory	the first chicken I ever fried
Pepsi or Coke	Pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King	KFC assholes!
Single or Group Dates	Group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea	Lipton
Choclate or Vanilla	vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee	coffee
Do you smoke	no
Do you swear	yes
Do you sing	of course
Do you sower daily	sower?
Have you been in love	many times
Do you want to go to college	no
Do you want to get married	already was
Do you belive in yourself	i surely do
Do you get motion sickness	sometimes
Do you think you are attractive	yes
Are you a health freak	HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Do you get along with your parents	yes
Do you like thunderstorms	yes
Do you play an instrument	no
In the past month have you drank alcohol	i have
In the past month have you smoked	yes
In the past month have you gone to the mall	no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos	no
In the last month have you eaten Sushi	BARF!
In the past month have you been dumped	Why would anyone dump Col. Sanders?
In the past month have you gone skinny dipping	yes
In the past month have you stolen anything	no
Ever been drunk	yes
Ever been beaten up	I do the asskicking, not the other way around
Ever shoplifted	no
How do you want to die	clogged arteries
What do you want to be when you grow up	I'm already grown up
What country would you most like to visit	Mexico
In a boy/girl
Favorite eye color	blue
Favorite hair color	any
Short or long	long
Height	5' 5"-5' 8"
Weight	120-150 lbs
Best clothing style	trailer trash
Number of I have taken	number of what? Whoever wrote this survey is an idiot
Number of cds i own	300
Number of piercings	0
Number of Tattoos	0
Number of things in my past i regret	2
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69 Confession Questions
These are my confessions...
1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?	Wendy...she's a hottie!
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?	Of course! I am a Southern gentleman
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?	Talker
4. Do you take compliments well?	I do
5. Do you play Sudoku?	No
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?	I know 83 different ways to kill a chicken...I can manage
7. Do you like to ride horses?	Yes, I am from Kentucky after all
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?	Revival camp
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?	Jacks
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?	Hellz yah!
11. Have you lied to get out of a date?	Yes
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?	Yes
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?	Pursue
14. Use three words to describe yourself?	Kentucky, Fried, Chicken
15. Do any songs make you cry?	Some
16. Are you continuing your education?	I know all I need to know
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?	I duel on a regular basis
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?	My secret recipe
19. How often do you read books?	Once a month
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?	present
21. What is your favorite children's book?	Make Way for Ducklings
22. What color are your eyes?	Blue-gray
23. How tall are you?	5 feet 9 inches
24. Where is your dream house located?	In the middle of a chicken farm
25. Do you have a secret fetish?	Being tickled with chicken feathers
26. Have you tried sushi?	BARF
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?	Yes
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?	NEVER!
29. When was the last time you were at Church?	This mornin'
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?	Six miles to church
31. What was your favorite job?	Chicken fryer
32. Do you like mustard?	sometimes
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?	eat
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?	Both
35. How long does it take you in the shower?	Depends if I slip and fall or not (I AM old)
36. Can you do the splits?	Not anymore
37. What movie do you want to see right now?	Something with Vicky Vette
38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?	No, I'm old enough
39. What did you do for New Year's?	Drank champagne and ate fried chicken
40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?	I don't hold grudges
41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?	No, but that Tina Fey sure is a hottie!
42. Do you own a camera phone?	yes
43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?	no
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?	no
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?	d
46. Do you like your middle name?	Yes
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?	10
48. Do you like care bears?	No, that shit's gay. He-Man was cool though.
49. What do you buy at the movies?	Tickets
50. Do you know how to play poker?	yes
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?	yes
52. What do you wear to sleep?	My tailor-made birthday suit and patent white leather slippers
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?	I happen!
54. How many meals do you eat a day?	5
55. Is your tongue pierced?	no
56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?	yes
57. Do you read myspace bulletins?	yes
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?	funny
59. Ever been to L.A.?	I ain't never goin' to that shithole town!
60. Did you eat a cookie today?	Not yet
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?	no
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?	neither
63. Do you hate chocolate?	no
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?	They are dead
65. Are you a gullible person?	no
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?	no
67. If you could have any job what would it be?	I already have it
68. Are you easy to get along with?	yes
69. What is your favorite time of day?	chicken time!
Take this survey

Strange Survey...

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:	Yes
What	23 years
Ever been in a car wreck?:	Yes
Were you popular in high school?:	Yes
Have you ever been on a blind date?:	No, I still have my eyesight
Are looks important?:	Yes
Do you have any friends that you	Yes
By what age would you like to be married?:	Already am
Does the number of people a person	No
Have you ever made a mistake?:	yes
Are you a good tipper?:	yes
What	$125
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:	yes
Have you ever peed in public?:	yes
What song do you want played at your funeral?:	BIlly Idol..'s .."Dancing with Myself.."
Would you tell your parents if you were gay?:	yes
What would your last meal be before getting executed?:	fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, cole slaw, sweet tea
Beatles or Stones?:	Rolling Stones
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:	any member of PETA
Beer, wine or hard liquor?:	hard liquor please
Do you have any phobias?:	a chicken revolution
What are your plans for the future?:	keep fryin..'
Do you walk around the house naked?:	all the time
If you were an animal what would you be?:	a lion
Hair color you like on someone you	don..'t care as long as the carpet matches the drapes
Would you rather be blind or deaf?:	deaf
Do you have any special talents?:	have you eaten my food?
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:	scratch my butt...hemmorrhoids are a bitch
Do you like horror or comedy?:	comedy
Are you missing anyone?:	no, everyone..'s right here
If you weren	yr dad
Where do you want to live when you are old?:	right here in Kentucky
Who is the person you can count on the most?:	The Burger King
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:	Tallulah Bankhead
What did you dream last night?:	I was a mountain climber
What is your favorite sport to watch?:	Kentucky Derby
Are you named after anyone?:	no
What is your favorite alcoholic drink?:	Mint Julep
Non alcoholic drink?:	sweet tea
Have you ever been in love?:	always
Do you sing in the shower?:	every day
Have you ever been arrested?:	yes
What is your favorite Holiday?:	Thanksgiving
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:	yes
Have you ever caught a fish?:	yes

Take the Strange Survey... survey

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