About me: I am a descendant of ancient samurai warriors. Sort of. I went to horse camp as a child. I also went to girl scout camp, but I went home after a girl put a gummy worm in my underwear when I was sleeping. I don't want to talk about it. I took ballet lessons in eighth grade because I had this fantasy that I would be a hard-core punk ballerina. It didn't go as planned. I am not hard-core. Or punk. Or a ballerina. I wish I was. I am in love with cake. I also have an intense obsession with mashed potatoes. I had a conversation with a girl at a party that was so awkward that she excused herself by saying, "I'm going to go get a pretzel." I went home. I can kick higher than you can, but only with my right leg. Memorize these facts. They are all you need know about me.
Who I'd like to meet: Other samurai warriors. Other high kickers. A hard-core ballerina. People with awkward stories.
Ellie- after reviewing your profile, wiping away the tears and pondering you as I have known you now for nearly three years- I think it is safe to say that you are the most hilarious person I have ever met. Perhaps in the world. In the good way..sort-of. No, really- you're one funny funny, strange lady. Why aren't you in NYC doing stand-up, getting a job on SNL and getting rich and f-ing famous? For real.
