Here's the situation... You're just happily browsing the good old internet. Maybe, browsing one of your favourite sites, perhaps myspace or some other site, something along those lines... And then out of nowhere EMO!!!!
TAKE COVER COMRADE!!!111
But now there is no need to fear good people, for EmoAlarm Pro5 is here! It will protect your internet from all those bad whiney intruders! Wipe that fringe right off their face and blow them away with EmoAlarm Pro5! The most powerful tool in the battle against that disgusting little scene.
"Presently, "emo" is code for "goddamn shitty pop punk music played by and for depressed suburban teens". It's all that Dashboard Confessional, My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Taking Back Sunday, and Fall Out Boy your retarded girlfriend listens to. This "music" is noted for it's complete lack of musical merit."
"It is also rumored that "emo" is the only music solely created by fetuses aborted due to advanced retardation. Only assholes listen to this stuff.
"
We are currently working on a whole range of anti-emo products, so stay tuned and stay safe!
The Products in our range so far:
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EmoAlarm Pro5
The ultimate way to defend yourself from the whiney emo kids whilst browsing the internet! With this program running there's no need to worry about running into those silly kids!
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Black Avalanche
Tired of having big stupid floppy fringes thrown in your face? Then wash them away with this lovely little number! Garunteed to wash them emos gone! (contains cyanide)
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| XXX's
Mmmm, grab a spoonful of our tastiest cereal yet, garunteed to turn those sXe folk back! Contains the goodness of cocaine, beer and whisky! What else could you ask for?
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Scene Beans
The best beans around! Once one person tries it you know they'll all follow like sheep. Maybe these should be scene beads? hmmm...
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"Acting as modern teetotalers, Straight-edgers do not drink, smoke, think, do drugs, have fun, or have casual sex. They are also often vegan, vegetarians, or Insane. The Straight-Edgers can all be very proud of the fact that they made a militant "movement" spanning nearly three decades out of a fourty-eight second song written by a man who later decided that a little weed here and there couldn't hurt. Good job, guys."
