There were four of us at the last count. Here is a little snippet about each of us in no particular order.
Julian ‘Banjo’ Vincent:-
Julian is a self confessed banjo-nerd. You name it, he's played it, published it,
broadcasted it or recorded it on the banjo and is the organiser of the annual Bath Banjo Festival. Although Julian is the band’s intellectually gifted member, working as he does as an esteemed (i.e. mad) professor of something at the Bath University and even having his own programme on Radio Four. His latest invention is a range of incontinence clothing (honestly) which has instantly provided the ingredients for a plethora of new limericks and much sniggering by the others.
Julian is in demand as a performer and speaker throughout the world, though we're not sure whether his regular trips to Holland are anything to do with that.
As the organiser of the Bath Banjo Festival and publisher of the Banjoists' Broadsheet, you might not find it too hard to guess what instrument he plays. Yes, that’s right, the guitar and mandolin. Oh yes and the banjo too.
Malcolm ‘sex object’ Richards:-
As the youngest member of ‘ere whacks, Malcolm has naturally fallen into the role of ‘fanny magnet’, attracting literally thousands* of groupies to our gigs and enabling us to genuinely rival even the most aesthetically gifted boy bands.
But Malcolm is not just about style, there is plenty of substance too. He may be very self deprecating (look it up, its nothing to do with Bobby Sands), but Malcolm is an extremely talented musician, fondling his accordian with great skill, as well as the piano and guitar.
At the end of 2008, Malcolm had a major overhaul in the heart department, which is why he and the band were out of action for a while. We are glad to say, he is now no longer the shadow of his former self and even has a new top secret job doing something exciting for the M.O.D.
When he is not making music or pretending to be a spy, Malcolm is very good at doing other things with his hands, mainly to buildings.
*potentially
John ‘Eddy Baby’ Moon:-
‘ere whacks was John’s idea, despite the fact his only musical experience at the time was the odd bit of karaoke. As he can’t play any kind of instrument except the kazoo, John was the natural choice as the band’s singer, his lack of talent more than made up for by his extensive wardrobe of strange and amusing clothing which often/sometimes appears at various stages during performances.
A life long fan of Monty Python, Adge Cutler and anything amusing or silly, John claims to know more than 1000 jokes, most of which his friends have heard at least twenty three times.
Embarrassed by his lack of musical talent, John makes himself feel better by writing new lyrics to the band’s unique collection of ripped off tunes most people have forgotten long ago. At times he has almost been famous, with numerous radio and tv appearances talking about motorsport and you can still sometimes hear him jabbering away at the Castle Combe circuit.
In the daylight hours, John collects cigarette cards featuring famous traffic wardens.
Robin 'innocent' Phillips:-
Robin was a natural choice as our double bass player because a) he was prepared to go out and buy one b) his wife has a car with enough room in the back to fit it in c) he had never played one before, and d) John had run out of other people to ask.
Luckily, Robin's daughter, Phoebe, a gifted bass player with ace band The Volt , provided enough social pressure on her father to instantly accelerate his talents to the incredibly high standards required by a band whose leader often walks around with his arse hanging out of his trousers.
As a whimsical aside to his music making, Robin can often be seen visiting his office in Queen Square in Bath, where he pretends to be a member of the legal profession.
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Our early influence was Adge Cutler, founder of the Wurzels and many of our numbers are Adge's originals. They include, Twice Daily, Pill Pill, Thee casn't kill cooch, Champion Dung Spreader, Don't tell I tell 'eee and Drink up thee Zider.
We have since evolved into other genres, principally parody, our main criteria being that we should enjoy making and playing our songs as much you do hearing them.
Probably our 'piece de resistance' is 'My Girl's Pussy' which was originally written by a band leader in the '20s and '30s called Harry Roy. It was made 'famous' however by R.Crumb, the man who invented 'Keep on Trucking' and his band the 'Cheap Suit Serenaders'.
Other re-written numbers include Tell Laura I love her, Livin next door to Alice, Lily the Pink, The Lumberjack Song, Always look on the bright side of life and our most ambitious rewrite - Don't Chav - a rip-off of Don't cha by the Pussy Cat Dolls.
But really, our main influence is earning a bit of extra money on the side to supplement the window cleaning. By the way, we also have some nice T shirts for sale with our logo on.
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You ought to read our TESTIMONIALS.
I know they aren't supposed to go here but we couldn't find anywhere else to put them.
Anyway, here is what people say about us. Most of them are genuine.
"Thank you so much for helping us celebrate in May. It was perfect. Your group helped to make our special day. It was a wonderful collection of songs, tunes and acts that turned our day from a simple ceremony into a memorable day of merriment. Our thanks to the boys in the band, kindest regards" Julie & Chris (Wedding, Priddy Green May 2007)
"Excellent" The Raven, Bath
"Brilliant, we will definitely have you back again" Foresters Arms, East Coker, Somerset.
'I would like to thank you all for playing at The Raven . . . Judging
from the crowd it was a real success and I did enjoy your music a
lot. Let me know if you have more gigs this summer. . . . We are
collecting photographs of the evening for our website, so if you have
some of your performance please email them to caroline.thibeaud@bathfestivals.org.uk' May 2008.
"Very impressed, much better than I was expecting!!" P. Wells, Shoscombe, July 2008
"I noticed the band had the word whacks in their title and as I love having my bottom treated in this manner, I instantly became a fan." M. Moseley.
"According to the data we have on them, they produce a fine range of contact lenses for racing pigeons. However, not all our records are complete as we have temporarily mislaid a few million gigabytes down behind the back of the sofa" Alastair Darling
"Ten pints of cider please lads and get one for yourselves too" Amy Winehouse
.. Design your MySpace with MyLook As 'ere whacks is allegedly a comedy band (we prefer to say novelty - then we don't have to live up to so much), it's quite important we make you laugh in this bit. OK, here is a picture of the band's bottoms
(l) (l) (l) (l)
So far, so good.
We like to play numbers which keep people amused, mainly with a West Country angle and often with a hint of naughtiness or innuendo. Interestingly, a number of our songs have the distinction of having been banned or restricted at some stage in their evolution though it's hard to understand why in most cases as they seem quite innocent in today's enlightened times.
In any case, we are quite sensitive to the kind of audience we are playing to, so don't worry about booking us for your wedding reception or your Aunt Ethel's 80th birthday party, we will hardly offend anyone at all. In fact, most of our groupies are in their 80's....
On the other hand, if you want to book us for your rugby club dinner, we can be as foul as you wish.....We also provide 'party music' after the gig using our sound system and we also have Karaoke, with a great selection of songs to keep you going till the early hours.
Our influences include Adge Cutler and Monty Python and anything from the past or present John can change the words to and create some amusement.
Our current line up of songs includes the following:
Always look on the bright side of life
Pill Pill
The 'ere whacks show
Thee casn't kill cooch
All good things
Champion Dung Spreader
Twice Daily
Don't tell I tell 'ee
Blackbird song
Don't Chav
Drink up thee zider
The Limerick Song
Bristol Song
Lumberjack Song
Livin next door to Alice
Tell Laura
Lily the Pink
My girl's pussy
Now I'm 64
Threshing Machine
She was only the .....
The Munter
Tog Hill 'picnic'
Those were the days....
Five years time
We were hatched on Wednesday 13 December 2006, after John spent a year trying to get the right people together. We now have a 'brilliantly talented' line-up which you can read about over there on the left of this page.
Also - see our testimonials down the bottom of the page on the left hand side, over there look.
Anyway, that should convince you to book us, so send us an email on pick@erewhacks.co.uk or give us a call on 07813 084046.
You can also send us your limericks, which we might use in our song of the same name. The ruder the better - especially ones with local place names in them. Thanks for your donations so far :-) And if you want to go on our mailing list so we can keep you updated with our gigs, send an email to pick@erewhacks.co.uk.
Hi John, Thanks very much for the add. I'm really glad u liked the show. I really appreciate the nice words. If u ever wanna come to one of the shows, please feel free. It was nice to meet ya and I hope to see ya again soon. Cheers m8!