EricZombie's Blog
As things go... this ain't so bad.
Let's see, my day-to-day life consists of coffee shops and cardboard boxes, sometimes couches. I must admit, I look pretty composed for a box dweller in the city. Button down shirt, slacks, jacket, briefcase. I could easily wander in the business district, and not get strange looks.
I learn to change my plans on the fly, depending on the circumstances. The box is always my default, but I prefer to sleep indoors. Closets and couches are good. Sometimes a warm body next to me helps. I've grown accustomed to salvaging what I can, eating when I can, and using public restrooms as my own personal bath. You cannot IMAGINE how quickly I can get in, shit, shave, wash my hair, and make it look as if I was never there. Basically, I follow the good camper policy, leave it as good, or better off than you found it.
But why am I still living on the streets? Is it some sick, perverted challenge that I've given myself? Or am I punishing myself for some wrong I did in the past? Living like this is not fun... but I get some satisfaction knowing that I'm still living as well as the rest of these Seattle citizens, with NO income, and just my laptop as a pillow.
I'm crazy. At least I think I am. But a truly crazy person knows he is perfectly sane. So maybe I'm not truly crazy, just a bit eccentric.
I'm impulsive. THIS is true. I always think out the consequences of every action, but I do it on the fly. I can't allow myself to sit and worry. I must do, do, DO.
I'm depressed. Or, at least I was a few months ago. Now I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about the world. Fuck 'em, I say.
I'm optimistic. I know life won't be this way forever, but it won't change unless I make some sort of effort. I feel like rocking the boat, but the lake is frozen.
I must say, being homeless gives me plenty of time to reflect. Soon, though, I will re-join the human race. I'll get myself an apartment and employment. I'll be working a 9 to 5 job, buying groceries, sleeping in a real bed. And I get to be miserable again, just like the rest of humanity.
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