KFC has begun selling grilled chicken which may overtake fried. Soon they may branch off to include pheasant & quail. Then they will be known as Kentucky Grilled Birds or The KGB and then I will stop eating there out of fear.
Some of my Rare & Unique Talents: Being able to see that being fired can some times be a very good thing, especially when the act of the ax is performed by clueless young punk kids, where at least one of them was a natural blonde and you aren't too sure about the other one. Being able to lose my wife's $1.50 worth of jello. There may always be room for jello, but it isn't always safe around me. Being able to pick out an Elton John song at extremely low volume, in a very brief time period, in a crowded noisy restaurant Being able to peel citrus fruit to a single piece and then reconstruct the hollow orange orb to fool future unsuspecting failed fruit finders. Being able to confound and confuse supposedly trained professional psychiatric personnel into thinking that I think that my fiction is reality. Snicker snicker snicker. Hey, are you idiots reading this again? Being able to make a water faucet dripping noise with my moist lips sorry, those are the only six I can think of at the moment
Favorite Things to Do:
Exploring the Universe
Writing
Creating New Words
New Tech Toys - satisfy my Sony addiction
Growing Tomatoes-May to Sep Dreaming About Growing Tomatoes-Oct to Apr
Spending Time w My Friends & Family
Experiments in Cooking - Japanese Steakhouse style at My House - creating a new soup
Finding Better Coffee
Freezing Brain w StBu Frapp
Patterns & Symmetry
Photography
Piano
Playing w My Dog
Poetry
International Culture Studies
Languages - Current Focus:
—Major-Mandarin Chinese with a new first time emphasis on pinyin
—Middle-Portuguese
—Minor-Arabic
Standup Comedy
TV Commercials
Designing Dynamic Product Logos
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Mental Games & Puzzles:
Biggest Brain (at Facebook)
Sudoku See my blog post titled:"Some Interesting Alternative Ways to Play Sudoku"
Cryptograms - I like to solve them, playing them entirely within my head - don't write anything down, just keep repeating the parts of the puzzle that you think you have solved until the whole thing gels or you go insane or 30 minutes, whichever comes first
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Contests:
The Bulwer-Lytton Writing Contest
Play the monthly contest "Where Are You?" online at Conde Nast Traveler magazine
Answer for Month:
2008 Dec: Country - 'Iceland' but you'll have to figure out which waterfall is the second part of the answer
2008 Oct: Country - 'Japan' but you'll have to find the rest of the answer for yourself. HINT: frogs
Play the monthly contest "Word Trips" online at Conde Nast Traveler magazine
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Promoting Buffalo Meat Consumption
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Once built a model of Stonehenge from dominoes .. but one of my children destroyed it before I got a photo. Childquake.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Things I Hate
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Chess Cigarette butts dumped on the street at an intersection Communism
Music
Annie Lennox - Why(even though my wife absolutely hates this song, I don't know 'Why')
Blue Man Group
Ludovico Einaudi
Jean Michel Jarre - since vinyl days
Elton H. John
Yo-Yo Ma - 'Gabriel's Oboe' from the soundtrack of 'The Mission'
Itzhak Perlman
R.E.M.
George Winston
Vangelis
Yanni - YES !!!
Chopin's - 'Nocturne in C# minor Opus Posthumous'
My Own
Andrea Bocelli's 'Il Mistero Dell 'Amore' - singing this song is my favorite way to study Italian
Jesse Cook's 'Virtue' - play this at my funeral
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Movie Music
Opening theme to 'Cider House Rules'
Opening theme to 'Forrest Gump' by Alan Silvestri
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Music Videos
Evanescence - "My Immortal"
Movies
Here are some lines from HuntforRedOctober:
Borodin: I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that? Ramius: I suppose. Borodin: No papers? Ramius: No papers, state to state. Borodin: Well then, in winter I will live in... Arizona. Actually, I think I will need two wives.
Broken Arrow
John Travolta:
Is a meanie
Holds his cigs funny
Has great lines like "Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons"
Dies
Cast Away
Chariots of Fire
Cider House Rules
Dances With Wolves
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Joe Vs. The Volcano
K-PAX
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Lost in Translation
Man on Fire
Nobody's Fool
Out of Africa
The Professional (1994, Luc Besson)
The Quiet Man (1952, John Wayne, Ireland, funny, romantic)
Shine (1996, Scott Hicks AFFC)
Starman
Stranger Than Fiction
The Thomas Crown Affair (Both versions: 1968 Steve McQueen & 1999 Pierce Brosnan)
Two Weeks Notice
Zoolander
DON'T:
Running with Scissors - not recommended for the weak of anything
The Sheltering Sky - easily the most boring movie ever made - and to think my wife accidentally rented this movie too many times.
Television
The Big Bang Theory - CBS - Mon 8:30 ET/PT Meet two brainiacs with a lot to learn. Leonard and Sheldon can tell their quarks from their quantum physics, but have no clue how women add up. Leave it to their pretty new neighbor, just off a messy breakup, to teach them a thing or two.
ReelzChannel - The Directors
In The Actor's Studio
House
Craig Ferguson
Anthony Bourdain - "No Reservations"
Corner Gas ....my life is suddenly too busy for much T.V. anymore
Books
Bible
Organic Chemistry by R.T.Morrison and R.N.Boyd, 6th Edition, HARDCOVER, If you want to be my new best friend you will send me a brand new copy of this book. Its only around $200, the HARDCOVER edition, NOT the cheap orange colored paper back version printed in black and white on thin paper in a country that rhymes with "Bindia" that somebody in Erie, PA fraudulently sold me on ebay. Otherwise I'll just have to type the whole thing back into my computer. All 1278 pages. Draw all the pictures. The back cover. The front cover. Lets not forget the preface, all 4 pages. But I won't type in the index, that would just be silly and a waste of time.
NEW: Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
Authors:
Bryce Courtenay - The Power of One
Robert A Heinlein - early works
Wally Lamb - I Know This Much is True
Aleksandr I Solzhenitsyn- Gulag Archipeligo and others
Kurt Vonnegut- Cat's Cradle - read entire collection
Sarah Vowell
Non-Books:
The Official Vanity Card Archives
www.chucklorre.com
Heroes
My Wife - she is someone with a smile in her voice and her cardiologist has proven she has a heart, something we have known for a long time.
Ernest's Details
Status:
Married
Here for:
Networking, Friends
Orientation:
Straight
Hometown:
Quinn SD Spearfish SD Darrouzett Tx Borger Tx
Body type:
8' 11" / Body builder
Ethnicity:
Other
Zodiac Sign:
Gemini
Children:
I don't want kids
Education:
College graduate
Occupation:
Oxygen Consumer CarbonDioxide Producer
Income:
$250,000 and Higher
Ernest's Schools
West Texas A & M University
Canyon,TX
Graduated: 1980
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Chemistry
Minor: Mathematics
Ernest MySpace thinks it is so freaking smart and got tired of the old thing that was here and replaced it with nothing. BAD MySpace !!!! Go sit in a corner and rot Posted at 1:28 AM Dec 23 view more
About me: Correct Blog Order by Publication Date
This is the correct order for my recent blogs, MySpace does not display them the way I prefer on the profile page by original blog publication date:
Disclaimer: You get to figure out for yourselves how much and which parts of the following stories are fictional. Enjoy.
COMING SOON: Teaching Your Dog to Speak
PoorToRichoStan
Bacon Haiku
A Bag of Water By Any Other Name Would Be Just As Scary
The Algebra of U
Health Scare Cry Sis
Chose No Hose
Good, Better, Bitter
Terror Infirma
Cyb-organized
Laughter Slaughters Laughterers
Tachy-See Driver
Hearing Aids for Mice
Lemonade Colored Carpet
The Only Thing
Socksual Orientation: A Key To Happy Feet?
PPOOP in Russian
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol VII
Iran Away From The Internet: Fa(r)ce-(i)-book Blocked Right Before National Elections
Ooops! We Need To Rename This Russian City .. Again
Notice to Strawberry Twizzler Addicts with Poor Memory Skills: WMT is NOT Your Friend
Betty Crocker Supports Pugilism for Two Year Olds (She Just Doesn't Know About It Yet)
My Samsung Dgatgmmapw (Dictionary)
B All U Can B: Comparison - Army Or Me
Wanna Buy A Watch?
My Guide for Hunting Easter Eggs
2 of 3
Rough Draft for a Song for My New Musical: 'My Fair Laddie'
Sudoku Rectangular A-B-B-A B-A-A-B Rule
Sportz-illas
I'm a Smoot !!!!!; Are You?
Souper String Theory with Onions and More
Being Able - Some of My Rare & Unique Talents
A Stranger Part of This Economic Depression
Ernest Goes Postal Twice in One Day with Three People
I Spy A Monster!!!
My Entries for the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol VI
From Pa to Ma: Put In Some Cinema to Get Rid of Insomnia
My New TV Food Woman: Bye-Bye Martha, Helloooo Ina !!!
Semi-Dried Gravy As An Art Medium
Notice to Strawberry Twizzler Addicts with Poor Math Skills: WMT is Not Your Friend
How I Will Know: Ab-Do-Wo-men
"Is Stan Back from Uzbekistan?" - The Saga of an Exotic Pet Broker in the Middle East
The Thoughts From A Week Minded Person
Super Sized Bowl of Eggnog Irritation Day
Facebook TooPointOh
My Favorite Fake French Words & Frases
If Michael Jordon Was A Mouse
It's 10:12 AM, Do You Know Where Your Coffee Is?
Ernest In Exile: Excuse Me, I'm Just Having An Aleksandr Isaevich Solzhenitsyn Moment
Got Socks?
A Recent Interview of Mine
Ernest - The Other White Meat
A Marital Pre-Blessing
Salmon:1 Bears: A Bazillion
Ironing The Ceiling
On The 3.5th Day Before Christmas My Uncle Said To Me
Oh, Christmas Two-ree
I Name and Rename Two Teenage Girls at the Groc Store
Marked for Life
The Evolution of My Old and New Pen(cil) Names
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol V
Squirrel Assassins
Yesterday’s MISTS-ery and Assassination Explained (It was just me messing around)
My German Slept-herd
A Question for A Confused Cooper
Proving That Esfahan Is Not Half of The World
My New Occupation: Mitsubishi Dealership
Desk 13 and Sponty
Sin Perfume, Chapter Two
The Big Turtle Problem
Join the MIRT Club Today!
Lets Give Mt Rushmore a Facelift or Four!
My Complete Lyrics: You Waise Me Up (So I Can Hunt Duh Wabbits)
A Rabbit and A Noun
Do I Have Guts? Why, of Course I Do!
High Velocity Lead Poisoning
Captcha Interpretations
Just a Minute or Two or Three
My Saturday List of Things To Do ..OR.. One Day in the Life of Ernestan Bostinovich
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol IV
Wanna Be My New Best Friend?
Bush v Gustav (v Holland?)
Martha S. and I Share Things
Brown Things in Motion .. OR .. Why Gigantic Baboons Don’t Study Physics
How To Save Money On Your Grocery Store Bill
True Mrs. Adventures Explaining The Venture Brothers While Venturing
The Past Tense of the Word ’Island’
Froggie - The Forbidden Meat in the Garden of E-rnest-den
A.L. G.A.
Our Mongolian Language Lesson of the Day
The Magical Powers of Herbalwife
Karma or Amtrak?
My Salamander, The Demander
18 Years Ago Today
The Cost of Humor
Bacon Jealousy
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol III
The Apes of Wrath by a Non-Steinbeck
Everybody - Lets Learn to Wiggle Properly!
When I Was Eight
The Strange, Change & Rearrange Sentence Game
Just A Few Q That Characterize You
Order Your New Valentines Day Card Early While Supplies Last
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol II
A Sad Miserable Life ?
Now ... Grease and Seasonings!
Mi Casa Spins and Drains Differently Than Yours
Song Wars
Ice Sculpture 101
My Secret for Eternal Ice Cream
A Pair of Penguin Pals
Me - A Male Model
Circular Sirius Soccer
You Too Can Have A New Blue Who Tattoo
Unipedal Exercise
Play FreeCell Without Using FreeCells
The Battle of The Broccoli Bowls
Some Interesting Alternative Ways to Play Sudoku
Guess Which One is More Dangerous
Three Tales from the Kanzany Road
Great Minds Think Alike
My Little Red Rain Gauge is Tilted
From A Basketball’s Diary
Billy Bonka, Bubba, and the Magical Ball Factory
Oh, Silly MySpace Ads, Don’t Tempt Me with DoPe
Oh, Now I See, It's a "V" Not a "C"
Oh! The Things You Will Learn from the University of Phoenix!
Amazing New Chinese Diet & More
The Danger of Roman Numerals - KEVIN!!!!!
Ring! Its Early Saturday Morning and Ernest is Getting Uglier
Bang! Its Early Friday Morning and Ernest is Getting Stoned
Play Cryptograms Without the Help of ExTraTErrEsTrials<- Several New Examples in Comments
Green with INVI
Ernstein: What Goofballs Sound Like at the Speed of Light
My Wife is More Interesting Than a Dead Buffalo
3 Ways To Be Thankful For 4 Feet
Patching the Puppy's Pool
Ford Cares: About Bunnies & Air Bags
Whoever You Are, Please Stop Sending My Wife Giant Chinese Lasers
The Ancient Sport of Paw Ball: History, Rules & Scoring
Our Newly Remodeled Non-Duck Non-Pond
If Baby Bear Makes a Noise in the Forest and Theres No One ...
Reruns: My Most Recent Set of MySpace Headlines, Vol I
Apocalypse Stew: I Love the Smell of Jalapeño on My Burning Palms in the Morning
Are You Talking to Me or the Dog?
Movie Magic Moisture Moment
Four Out of Five Attend a Funeral
Choking and Laughter: Key Ingredients to a Great Evening Meal
Dear Texas DOT: Wrong Sign, Wrong Place
200 Percent French
Who’s Last Name is ’Needs’ ?
Rain of 100
A.R.R.T.
Give Me a Better Name for My Bag of Carrots
I Scream You Scream 2nd Verse
95 Cents Worth of Un-Happiness at MCD
List of Possible Christmas Gifts for Me - 2006
NYC Slow Geyser
My New Self Help Book Title: Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian
Create Your Own Starbuck-ish Name
Doggie Bloggie
One of My Favorite 36 Cu Ft Chunks of the Universe Doesn't Exist Anymore
Hare v. Tortoise Race
Redneck Wife/Plumber
YEA!!! My Family Christmas Letter from 1998
I Don't Really Have a Dog
Bipolar
Porsche Model Numb ers
Iran is a Gaseous State of Matter
Recent MySpace & Elsewhere Headlines
Think of this as my version of twitter
360: I have had to make a serious effort to stop talking to myself. It only confuses my dog. I can get away with it on the rare occasion when he is out of the room or if I am more quiet than his decibel level of ripping apart a chew toy as long as he is absorbed in the task at hand. Mumble, the key is to mumble ....
359: Twitter is all a Quitter today - periodically at overcapacity during the last several tries. Their visual message for system overload is a flock of birds holding a smiling whale suspended in mid-air by cords. Somehow I think that is not the image I would have chosen to let the world know "not now, later"
358: LOL - I just saw that someone answered the question "Do you think that Ernest S. B. Boston would look good in a mini-skirt?" with an answer of YES - perhaps they have poor vision/poor computer monitor and thought the question was asking about "look good in men's shirt"
357: Oh, the joy that is Texas, picking vine ripened tomatoes in late October.
356: There must be quite a bit of cross-pollination of the design engineers at General Electric across their myriad of manufacturing divisions. Our new clothes washer sounds a lot like a quiet jet engine landing. Oh, the magic of Echo-imagination.
355: Life is short - so are midgets. [(Slightly modified version of a sign I saw in a church parking lot. Its even more intriguing when you say it out loud: "Life is short - sore midgets"]
354: Its not how far you fall from grace and the TV ratings when they find out that your balloon thing was a family hoax, its the indictment that arrives by the sudden cop.
353: On days like today I could use a robot, a really strong robot, but preferably a girl robot. [Paint and chat, must be programmed to paint and chat, thats all I'm really looking for in a good girl robot, and must love dogs too.]
352: I hate tattoos. But I came up with an interesting idea yesterday. In California it is against the law to drive while talking on a cell phone. My tattoo idea is to have a giant tattoo on the left side of your head & neck that looks like you are holding a cell phone to your ear. Then you can talk on a cell phone while driving. When you get pulled over, put the real phone away & confuse the nice police officer.
351: So far my outdoor reading has been interrupted by a mosquito and then a bumblebee. I wonder what the next flying thing will be, maybe a fly or nuclear warhead tipped intercontinental ballistic missle. (That was strange: The keypad sequence of 647753 on my phone keypad doesn't show to have the word 'missle' in its built in dictionary. I wonder if I am misspelling 'missle'. I checked and ICBM isn't there as well)
350: Mommy, where are you? Are you okay in your new home in OKay-lah-home-ah? Please call Baby Bird #2 when it is convenient for you sometime after 4ish - I am tied up until then slaying numeric dragons. Love, esbb
349: My career as a writer is really taking off! At the end of 23 months of blogging using AdSense from Google, I had amassed 13 cents. Now 3 months farther down the road I am at 19 AdSense cents AND received a single philanthropic gift of 32 cents from one reader hand delivered all the way across the state of Texas. I am way ahead of my projected plan to become a millionaire by age 91 with a doubling period of 23 months
348: Somedays you are the enigma without even trying very hard and you don't even realize it yourself.
347: “And all this time I thought they were building a life together, she was really assembling the means of his death” - from the movie 'Under Things, Over Things, Every Things”
346: One month finished, eleven to go. Be safe, we miss you dearly. Hug.
345: Interesting 24 Hour Time Period. The exhaust fan above my kitchen stove went out last night while making supper. Then just now the electric motor on the clothes washing machine burned up, pumping ickiness into the air. And on a rare calm Texas Panhandle day without a breeze to help!
344: Warm puppy at my feet, warmer coffee at my right side, with a hot chicken and rice casserole fixing to pop out of the oven in a few minutes. That should wake her up for breakfast! MMmmm.... My secret minor ingredients for chicken and rice: a dash of Worcestershire sauce and drop of Tabasco Sauce. I tried it with pepper jack cheese instead of cheddar once, that was wonderful, but not the wifey's favorite taste.
343: Bubbles As Lens: Today I was making some hard boiled eggs. I noticed near the beginning of the boil that when the few tiny bubbles passed across the surface of the water they cast a bright spot on the white egg below.
342: I want to promote the fake scientific sounding conceptual theory of 'Color Magnetism' that I recently invented in a balloon story. The closer things are to being the same color, the stronger the attraction they have for one another. (Remember this is totally fictional although it does have some merit in animals who tend to be attracted to others who look like themselves)
341: Horror Zone Tall (→) Very Tickle
340: There is just something mystically wonderful about traveling at 60 mph that makes me think we should try to achieve it as often as possible even if it means installing a screensaver on your computer to simulate the experience.
339: F O G
338: My tomato plants are able to enjoy some October sun not knowing that hospice care is soon to come followed by a share of inhospitable ice as their round red orphan children come to reside on my table.
337: I think it is interesting that in the same time period for which Obama was being evaluated for the Nobel Pizza Prize he sent more troops to Iraq and Afghanistan.
336: Sometimes you realize that the only reason you seem to have at the moment for being sad is simply because so many, too many, of your dearest friends are deeply saddened.
335: The flies of October are even slower than the ones of September. Proof: I reached out and snagged one right out of the air with my bare hand - the first time I ever did that in my entire life. Perhaps I'm just getting in shape? After watching Obama do something similar during a TV interview, does this feat help qualify me for the position of President of the United States of America?
334: My Aged Dame is in a slightly damaged state (injury) - when I said something just now it made her laugh. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts" I told her I was merely repeating the words of a young African inventor that she had already heard on TV last night, so actually his words were already in her brain, I just did a scream screen refresh.
333: "Its too soon to say if its too late" - from a quote of Dr Thomas Frieden, director of the CDC, Center for Disease Control
332: SBS - Suicide By Soup - that was a lovely experience just now. Fortified can of gumbo, with fresh garden tomato cooked on the side with jalapeno and then additional chicken cooked in that side pan and a touch of brown sugar. I held on until my Dr Pepper fire extinguisher ran out and declared victory running through the streets. Women cried, children laughed and waved banners and men everywhere pondered my magic.
331: I have always found that if you are truly expecting someone to apologize to you it always helps to actually let the person know through a carefully written or verbal means of communication versus the process of just expecting them to pick it up through the nebulous act of reading your mind.
330: My vertical blinds vibrate in the slight wind of the hidden southern open window at one end and ripple northward the progressively dampened motion til there is nothing moving where the distance traveled by the disturbance dance has some function to the gust velocity, causing an unblinding of the blinds in slight fleeting oscillating pendulum cracks with morning light streaming inward momentarily blinding me
329: Mi ld ly in pa in
328: When the words "absoluting intimidately" pass through my brain as a well ordered pair, I think of you. Oh, sorry, I left off the 'and', there is always an 'and' but it is not always in the right place, sometimes at the beginning, sometimes at the end, sometimes it squeezes into the middle, saying "hi guys, whats up?" and then there are other times when we are just standing around waiting for breakfast and 'and' shows up with bloodshot eyes mumbling something about last night with 'or' and 'but' and 'with', ranting on about how adverbs are taking over the world, and we just ignore him and drink our coffee.
327: If anyone out there is a Wikipedia editor, and would like to help me keep the article about myself in place in wikipedia, then please help out with an "Accept" vote in the ungoing 'AdF' debate
326: Just remember that Rome wasn't built in a day - and wasn't even actually built by Romans - they had lotza slaves to do all the heavy lifting and all the dirty jobs, cooking, cleaning, baby sitting, grape stomping, dog walking, well, maybe not the dog walking ....
325: I love October in our part of the world, its not too brrr like Novem-brrr can some times be.
324: I awoke and heard words from Iraq very early this morning. Actually it was closer to being 'very very' AM rather than just 'very' AM and we did get clarification that the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil are the summer games, not the winter. But what about the 'Spring Olympics'? We enjoy our boy who is so far away and yet able to share giggles, what joy, what joy is contained within him; smile, big smile.
323: "If I knew you were coming I would have baked a cake" - well, actually I did know and that explains why my oven is preheating, and soon we will be eating, German Chocolate cake! (Its whats for breakfast, mmmm, I bet that'll get them up early)
322: There may be a big push and international clamor underway in Copenhagen to determine where the site of the 2016 Olympic Games are to be held, but I am busy in the process of trying to convince Wal-Mart Corporation of Bentonville that they need a store in Dzt TX, population 303. Ah, dream big, lets go for a supercenter AND a distribution center.
321: Its too bad you can't go back and un-find something(s).
320: I just had a dream about washing dishes in an automatic dishwasher. That sounds boring except for the part where there were Hostess Twinkies on the bottom shelf at the back right side.
319: From Craig Ferguson: "It's the sled - that joke's for five people in America"
318: If I had a van, I would be van going. Instead, I am just a painter in a pickup.
317: Your life can't possibly be all that bad if there is an occasional purchase of BBQ sauce in gallon quantities mixed in there somewhere....
316: supercaloriefragrantlyexcellentpiedelicious – my friend asked for people to describe her with a single word, so I created this one with a little inspiration from Mary Poppins and the memories of my friend's savory treats
315: I think it is cool that people read my writings from all over the world. But if they misunderstand my sense of humor (and some have) & become deeply angered & get together slowly plotting my demise, that wouldn't be cool. Unless of course, they were planning my mode of death to be by freezing (hopefully something spectacular with fireworks!) then that would be really cool. Hold it, I think I'm missing something here.
314: I was accidentally married to Lucille Ball for a very brief time period today, but I was totally unaware of the 'Oops! I Think Wrong Bottle of Hair Ink Event' until it was completely over. It is my understanding there are no pictures for chronological documentation, no paparazzi, no Tamie-razzi.
313: Coming soon, 'Scary Hairy Furry Fear' or, 'Ernest Accidentally Scares A Little Old Lady At Wal-Mart Just By Being Nice'
312:What time is it, Ernest? Time to shut down everything and watch the movie 'joe versus the volcano'. It has just been too long since the last time. (Notice that I paid attention to the title of the movie, its supposed to be in all lowercase)
311: Today's Non-Scientific Grand Conclusion: The house flies of September are much easier to swat/kill than the ones earlier in the year. I doubt that my skill of killing has improved, so I am attributing it to a combination of slightly colder weather and old age (of the flies). Or maybe my current cuisine is fattening them up or interfering with their internal gyroscope.
310: I am simultaneously washing dishes and dashing wishes.
309: The Space Shuttle Discovery was in Amarillo today hitchhiking its way back to Florida from California. Its mule, a special Boeing 747, had stopped for a bale of hay and some water.
308: Interesting day. My wife is losing it. She was in the kitchen and I heard her say "Move, please" in the soft, kind voiced phrase we usually use with Cooper our dog, only then she cracks up laughing, "I can't believe I was just now talking to a fly!!!"
307: E-"So this video game is just like your old one except for the insects"
T-"No,{blah blah blah explanation}{a few minutes of game play} see what I mean?"
E-"No, I wasn't really watching, I just happened to be looking in that direction"
306: I checked just now and you are not home. Where are you? I miss you.
305: My day of pie rating is over. Back to normal English. Time to find a pillow.
304: Shiver me 2 by 4's, it be international 'Speak Like A Pirate Day" !!!
303: "Say Tamie, what movie -NARF!!!- are we watching tonight to go to sleep by?" - "The same movie we watch every night, Ernie, 'The American President' starring Michael Douglas" - "Say Tamie, I wonder when they are going to make a new one starring President Break Yo Momma"
302: My wife is totally unimpressed with Facebookat the moment - she thinks she could find friends faster on a bicycle than FaBoo - and she doesn't even have a bicycle AND I would get a kick out of seeing her just TRY to ride a bicycle AND so would you, I'm thinking here comes a video opportunity for 'America's Funniest Videos'
301: Cooking experiment: Cooking bacon with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce for my sandwich. [IF] you never hear from me again, [THEN] you'll know I was killed by spicy pig pieces interspersed in a chicken sandwich, complete w fresh tomatoes ... mmmm, spicy pig pieces ... spicy pig pieces ...
300: Preconfusion Warning: Tomorrow is international "Talk Like a Pirate Day" - so I will switching my Facebook language setting over to 'English (Pirate)' for September 19th. The guy who invented the 'holiday' wanted to do something special for his ex-wife's birthday.
299: Spending too much time in 'hope' wastes your present and your future ....
298: I have devised a plan that would drastically cut down the number of cases of prostate cancer to essentially zero and save a tremendous burden on the national health care system. IDEA: Kill all males over the age of 29. That should keep Obama's Death Panels busy for a few weeks.
297: Someone I know, but I can't see, is going to land in the icy land of Iceland, and at least that's the plan if the plane is fixed and they go zoom, otherwise he is adjusting to just mainly waiting in a waiting room in the state of Maine in a non-zoomy state of being.
296: In my dream just now I got in a fight with a grizzly bear. I got away from the bear by poking a stick in his nose, but I didn't run away but held my ground growling at him. So my advice for hiking through the forest is don't forget to take your megaphone and pool cue.
295: My night was drizzle, dark and damp, and now my morning comes wrapped with a tight coat of bright fog. The same water gets a little decoration, motivation, evaporation and elevation from the sunlight.
294: Poetry is a way of life, a way of thinking & doing, expression that is caressed, pressed & dressed, then said.
293: I have entered a simultaneous state of both 'I can't imagine what is going to happen next' amazement and extreme partial sadness wrapped in a mystery that only deepens as time and forensics uncovers the depravity and diabolical greed that can be contained and slowly revealed in a single other human being. (Don't worry, if you can read this directly from Facebook, I'm not talking about you)
292: Ah, Texas !!!
291: Colorado is currently color yellowing and color reddening, winding down for winter.
290: Utah is really just an older New Mexico, except one chose to be our salt and the other our pepper.
289: Today I saw some strange looking wide dilapidated shredded mud flaps on the back of an RV going down the interstate. With them flapping sporadically in the wind, it gave me the impression of a giant tarantula serving as the drivetrain - a 'drivetrainantula'
288: My thought for the day: Does anyone named Fran Sancisco live in San Francisco?
287: Getting to know Idaho in a couple of days or so
286: In some parts of the world they have installed cattle guards to keep livestock off busy thoughfares, such as the Interstate Highway System. In other places where the cows aren't as bright, they just paint one directly on the asphalt.
285: I got a phone call at 3 AM to let me know that 2 had tango'd; the score, who won? Skunk 1, Dog 0 - and the atmosphere negative something.
284: After spending a half hour around my first tribe of Oregonians, I am guessing their favorite herb is not oregano but rather cannabis sativa.
283: Now leaving apple maggot quarantine area
282: We have moved on in the non-list of our unscheduled daily activities to 'Pillow Fight'. Earlier I proposed that we formulate a name for the field of study for when space alien archeologists come to study our planet a million years from now and totally misinterpret the remains of human activity.
281: "Due to the Bumper Shoot Festival, valet parking will be closed" - the strange verbal message my son just received on his phone that we have no idea what it means. Perhaps it was a secret code from a CIA agent delivered to the wrong person.
280: Seattle .... Visual Apple Peeling
279: In several ways I am playing chess with my father for the last time. After this game, I plan to never play him again for the second time in my life.
278: Somebody in Montreal loves me.....
277: Happy 70th Anniversary to The Beginning of World War Two Day
276: I'm pretty sure yesterday was a good day. I played hide-and-go-seek with my dog, or 'BOO!' as the name of the game that my dog knows it as, at least three times. I also conducted an apprroximate census of my tomato plants: >70 green spheres of significant size on my 5 plants. MMMmmm...
275: In these tough economic times if you decide to start a "Lets save money by not shaving policy", be sure to have a notarized signed document with your spouse's buy in - it will help in both the divorce proceedings as well as when he/she tries to have you committed.
274: One of the ways that I plan to cut down on the amount of CO2 green house gas in the atmosphere is to implement a personal policy of never burning diamonds.
273: 'responsibility' just means that you screwed up and didn't properly do 'sponsibility' the first time. And since you have most likely have never heard of the ability to be sponsy, you know what to ask for at the next PTA or school board meeting.
272: I tried to save 8 soles today, but they eluded me.
271: Thanks Marck 'No matter how hard I don't try, there's just only so much that I can't do.' - That sounds like the perfect thing to not write on the very expensive marble tombstone that I never want to have. Save a tree, save a rock, take good care of my dog.
270: If anyone complains about the current state of my backyard, I am just going to blame the abundant rain, and point out that I am just singlehandedly Amazingly trying my best to make up for the failure of millions of Brazilians who are destroying the Amazon rain forest.
269 Translated: (Ernest) is so tired that he didn't even bother to switch his phone to the correct mode before typing this mess but it is easier to click send rather than erase.
268: Oh, I have just recently discovered the Probate Code of the State of Texas online for free! Weeee! Ah, what joy! An interesting read in-deed, and all the new Latin vocabular-y, for the lil' lawyer wanna-be, living inside of me.
267: My dog is an entomologist.
266: I have learned that just because someone is willing to constantly call law enforcement, it doesn't necessarily mean they have any appreciation or understanding of law nor are they willing to live by law.
265: If I had a sister (or a brother) named 'Debra', I would tease them that they are 80 percent the same as a 'Zebra' - and because the letters D and Z rhyme, I would probably just tack on a few extra percent just to confuse them. It is well known that Zebras are easily confused by percentage mathematics.
264: Strangest song title to date: Last night on the David Letterman Show a song was performed called "God is Great, Beer is Good, People Are Crazy". Yes, thats right. I'm not making this up! And if I did just make it up I would not have told you. I know, I know, - Dave and I were stunned as well. There was even a backup gospel-type choir doing the chorus. They had a hard time keeping a straight face while performing.
263: I was driving in wet cold morning heavy downtown traffic and had just pulled out into the flow of vehicles when my ventilation system malfunctioned suddenly fogging up the interior side of the glass and to my amazement it had even created ice which I couldn't easily remove. I thought, 'this is really strange for August in Texas'. Then I woke from my dream a few moments ago.
262: I think I annoyed my dog. He was resting on my lap just fine listening to the same Coldplay song, 'When I Ruled The World' - their live performance from SNL, over and over until I started using my hands as puppets, doing their version of lip sync. Oh well, back to band practice ........ rewind, repeat.
261: I have just now discovered an adequate substitute that I should be able to use to put Dr Pepper out of business: A 50-50 mix of Coca-Cola and A & VV Root Beer
260: I love my mother very much.
259: (Ernest) Is home. Is thankful for all the good people with fine hearts who truly love and care. Is completely tired. Is hurting in his head.
258: (Ernest) is enjoying the wife telling about her dream of me forcing her to leave her home behind to live in a cardboard box. (In my defense, it would have been the nicest, biggest box available.) In the dream she kept yelling out, "I'll work harder!!!"
257: Part of the Freedom of Speech is politeness. Waiting for your turn. Listening.
256: Double LOL - I just saw a book titled 'A Lion Called Christian' and then thought of the historical references wondering if any of his distant relatives devoured any Christians during the Roman 'glad he ate her' days.
255: I think it is ironically interesting to have a president who is so vocally primarily concerned about national health care but then at his individual level continues to smoke cigarettes.
254: A good day. A very good day? Yes, a very good day!
253: I have a new verbal tool in my arsenal of tricks for when the dog is in a whiny mode. I just ask him in a kind voice, "What's the matter, baby need a percutaneous tracheotomy?", and every time he quiets down immediately. He must be paying more attention to the medical dramas on TV than I originally thought.
252: When the former president flies on a plane, is it known as 'Air Force Minus One'?
251: When I saw Santa Claus yesterday at the job fair I got excited about the prospect of working as an elf making cool toys, but he seemed just a bit indifferent towards me. When I asked for directions to his place he just replied, "a ways north of Norway"
250: Even though its not raining outside at this moment and I am not actually singing, there is a mildly wildly syncopated version (of my own composing) of "Singing In The Rain" going through my brain right now, leaking out my lips every once in a while.
249: Nature abhors a vacuum. College dorm rooms naturally abhor a vacuum cleaner. Nature abhors a clean vacuum cleaner. But if you have two vacuum cleaners, you can ea-silly always have one clean vacuum cleaner, or at least a cleaner one of the two.
248: My neighbor's dog ran away from home but didn't get very far. About one foot. He/She broke through a hole in the fence and was still hooked onto the chain. But my dog Cooper came to his/her rescue and notified me that something was going on outside his fence.
247: Oh, boy! It's a special day!
246: If you want to minimize police - citizen confrontations that turn into media circuses of "he said, she said", then simply digitally audio record every minute of a police officer's time on the job and have it be totally in control of an independent agency.
245: "You can never almost go home again" - to and for my mother
244: I am surprised to see from reading AP news about the indicted NC group that "military training at home" appears to be a crime in the United States of America.
243: I slowly overtook a painted train traveling parallel to my automobile route. The graffiti covering the bottom portion of most of the railroad cars was 'half vast' - massive, grotesque, uncoordinated and lacked a central unifying theme. Then I was comforted by the thought that at least the paint added a layer of corrosion protection to the rolling railroad caravan canvas.
242: Someone (me) is eating pumpkin bread at Starbuck's but first there must be an interesting sculpture simultaneously created and destroyed in the process. [activity] At one brief shining moment there was a miniature rendition of Howard Hughes' mammoth moth known as the 'Spruce Goose' on my porcelain platter. Now there be but crumbs and a black plastic fork.
241: On one leg of my journey I experienced two clearly discernable dry/wet demarcations on the pavement for the edge of the storm. Is this anywhere close to being equivalent to finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?
240: Small Ville Texas, where the cost of living is low, folks still say "hi", and you can buy a pair of snow cones on credit (its a long story with a sweet happy ending)
239: The day is mathematically, chronologically & statistically progressing in the right direction. We have gone from a 30 percent chance of rain to raining 30 percent of the time.
238: I thought my inner core was cracked. Then I found out it was really molten. Iron. Molten iron. And spinning. And HUGE. And it was creating a magnetic field that caused beautiful glowing lights dancing at my feet and head. Cool. I noticed my glowing feet. Then I realized I had been dreaming that I was the entire earth. Again.
237: Housekeeper: Someone imported you hire to rearraign the stuff of "our" house, and hide important things from and mentally strain-gle your spouse. Also known as a 'spousesweeper'
236: Civics 101: It doesn't really matter who yoU are, or how important yoU think yoU are, you shouldn't ever think that it is a good idea to act stupidly, to yell and to scream at a peace officer any more than perform that same three ring circus for a judge in a courtroom.
235: Warning: Don't mess with my wife or she will 'fire' you as a customer! You don't mess with Texas and you shouldn't 'less' a Texan's income by not showing up for your appointment multiple times.
234: Is there like, another word for 'thesaurus', and where would I find it? [That reminds me about teasing my mother one time when she mentioned that I could use a thesaurus for something. So I asked her with mock seriousness, "whats that?", & she tried to explain repeatedly then realized my trickery and whacked me on the arm]
233: ..........
232: It is a very costly thing when people have no fashion sense or common sense or sense of smell. At least when it happens in the elderly, chances are you will out live it.
231: While shopping in WMT just now I heard a young mother use the word 'eXtablished' in a sentence to her child.
230: Ernest is sitting on the edge of shade, so close to the edge that I'm afraid I might fall off. Oops, it moved and I didn't. There, all better, for now.....
229: Wanted: Actively seeking the services of a young trainable mountain gorilla. Must be willing to pick tomato worms. Eating worms would be considered a benefit with pay adjusted accordingly. Willing to share 10% of tomato crop and 15% of the leaves. Microsoft Office Suite skills a plus; Fortran and COBOL programming experience a definite plus. Seasonal work. Online resumes only, please. Must love dogs.
228: Mr. Caveman, I can feel your pain. That stupid theme song from those recent Geico commercials keeps playing on an endless loop in my head.
227: As part of my continuing journey of preparing for the complete societal meltdown and chaos to come, I have gone to the hardware store and purchased 2 each of every kind of nut, bolt, screw, pin, washer, nail, rivet, snap, clasp, latch, hinge, hook, nut, bolt, screw, pin, washer, nail, rivet, snap, clasp, latch, hinge, and hook.
226: Just practicing homelessness and gardenmoreness in a light rain.
225: Checklist: Okay, let's see, I can now grow oregano and I have got started on my rainwater collection system to water my garden. So, as soon as I can grow a coffee tree, baby, I'm ready for any meltdown - polar ice caps, global economic or both. Ooops, I forgot about dog food ... and sugar ...
224: Ah, puppy is back from his ride in the car, the first one in quite awhile; "Neglect!!!" - I am sure that was his collective doggie thoughts boiled down to a single word - at least he got to see prairie dogs today, but no locomotives in action. He likes trains, but he likes prairie dogs more.
223: PuttinG a cOllAr AnD A fleA cOllAr BAck On A DOg while yOu hAve A heADAche cAn be A lOt Of fun! For one of us.
222: Hmmm, I must have done something very bad - I crashed - 'busted' - the entire Google Chrome browser on my XP computer which is supposed to be very 'robust' at the application layer ..... .... ... .. . r0 r0 r0 r0 r0 (nothing) - followed by that empty feeling you get when you lose at a slot machine, only I don't know exactly what that feeling is as I have never played a slot machine.
221: After watching video speeches & reading quotes of Sarah Palin, I thought to myself, "So this is what a female version of George W. Bush would sound like"
220: It looks like I slept on my mustache wrong - one half looks 'normal', the other side is doing a fair job of imitating 'Salvador Dali'. Sorry folks, no flash photography today in the 'amused, see him'.
219: My dog is resting on the floor at my feet. With seismic P-wave hick-ups. (wait) (wait) Ah, fur-th quake is now over.
218: Its important to turn the lights on in your bathroom at night. I just came "this close |<----->|" to stabbing my foot with a steak knife when my belly knocked it off the counter" a) Get a smaller belly b) Put up the steak knife c) Turn on lights before entering room d) Move
217: something something something
216: As much as my dog sheds hair, he doubles as a 'sheep'.
I am offically listing him as a Half Huskie/ Half German Sheep-herd from now on. Baaaa-Ark!
215: I almost have a cartoon idea finished that has the words "Eve, its an easy design decision, this room so needs to be a man cave"
214: Silly wise despots despise easily.
213: After 16 pairs of black New Balance MX600AB 11 1/2 4E, it is time to move on. They appear to be gone. Alas, there is nothing quite so sad as beloved extincty shoes. I guess someone forgot how to make them, or I didn't buy enough, or someone hates me - those are the only reasons I can think of at this moment of deep sorrow. A buy gone era.
212: A bumper sticker I created for my sister today: Those who can't sing cartwheel.
211: Tomato worms in my part of the world have been known to soar as high as 25 feet in a single 'hop' completely clearing my house from back to front. Of course they didn't necessarily achieve this through their own means of locomotion, know the proper procedure for landing or book the flight far enough in advance to qualify for the lowest possible fare.
210: It may be July 5th, but I have that December 26th dead tired overworked Santa Claus Glad~That~Whole~Day~Is~OVER yet thankful feeling and a smile. Drats - Rudolph's water bowl is empty.
209: Word of Advice to the fine citizens of Gaffney, SC: Most serial killers know how to read. So don't be interviewed by CNN, give you and your wife's name and be quoted: "If he comes to me, face to face, I'm ready, I'm loaded, and I'm aimed for him" & "I'm afraid for my life, it's going to be kind of like a dog fight. I'm telling you: I'm going to win" - especially when your home address is available on the Internet.
208: I noticed that a bottle of imported water in my house came from the Alps. Of Arkansas. Then I looked closer at the "Alpine Spring Water" logo & it doesn't exactly have an "A" in the word "Alpine" - just an inverted V mountain shape with a jagged line to represent the snow. So I am thinking maybe "LPINE" is how they say "Pine" -> "Pine Tree" in Arkansas. Pine tree water. Is that anything like 'maple syrup'?
207: "Root beer float with a root beer chaser, please, waitress"
206: Just judging by the velocity & ferocity that my dog puts into keeping cats off our property, I think the folks at Beggin' Strips have missed out on a flavor opportunity. I am not for the wholesale slaughter of kitties, I am just thinking outside the litter-box. I figure a few of my chemist chums and I could come up with an artificial cat scent. After smelling the place where I used to work - it should be easy!
205: KFC has begun selling grilled chicken which may overtake fried. Soon they may branch off to include pheasant & quail. Then they will be known as Kentucky Grilled Birds or The KGB and then I will stop eating there out of fear.
204: If I fall asleep sitting in my lawn chair, does that count as 'camping'?
203: T - "I didn't say you could dance in my bed!!!" [Jason Mraz music induced dancing]
202: A brand new tiny little leaf !!!! Visible proof that I am not completely killing my latest orchid.
201: Last night Mr. Froggie was waiting patiently on the top step of the stairs at the back door. As soon as I opened the door he immediately jumped inside about a half of a foot, distance. I quickly & carefully (acting in my capacity of 'club bouncer') took the bottom half of my foot and sent him "hopping west" after a brief stay of 1.5 seconds. He is taking what I tell Cooper too seriously, "Mr. Froggie is our friend!"
200: The next time you are in the market for rhinoplasty, remember this piece of add-vice: You can pick your nose, and you can pick your girlfriend's nose, but if you happen to have a gorilla for a friend, you can't pick your gorilla friend's nose.
199: It appears that Facebook can't handle the word 'Facebook' in it's spell checker for messages
198: I know that Islamic Iranians don't believe in reincarnation, but it appears to me that the whole of the East Bloc communism, secret police, etc, ran downhill and resurfaced in Iran.... RomANIa .. RomAN..I.a.RomAN .... I...r..a.n
197:I am preparing for the coming nuclear holo-caustic end-of-times by backing up everything on the Internet to my hard drive in order to rebuild human civilization. Don't worry, I'm making a paper copy as well. 3 hole punch'd. In binders. Alphabetized. No porn.
196: My bio for the twitter profile display starts off with : 'Bio chemist ..." - its a good thing I didn't put down 'logist' as the first word, because I am certainly not a bio logist, much less a bio chemist. Just a scientific gardener. Mmm, tomatoes ....
195: Its seems that my world is getting wetter. And there are more frogs appearing. And supposedly there is global warming. So combined together - wetter, frogger, warmer - Global Warting !!!
194: I took one look at my wife's new wicked looking electronic facial equipment and said, “Wow, with this stuff I could get a job at Guantanamo Bay. 'Vee haf ways uf making you talk, bud virst vee vill make you scream vile vee laugh'
193: Ernest is watching a bird and squirrel fight for a spot on a phone line. Bird won, Squirrel zero.
192: I have reached the outer space limits. Of my wireless optical mouse. With rechargeable batteries. So I rearranged the furniture in my living room to compensate for the lower voltage rodent.
191: So it seems twitter has reduced the 'sound byte' to a 'sound bit'. Let me know when someone comes out w 'TwYTE-r' so I can have a longer msg
190: How do I handle pork at the Federal Gov't level? I have a separate special Spam folder dedicated just for the e-mail messages from my congressman.
189: Okay. I did it. I gave fair warning to the frog on my back door step. I told him it wasn't a good place to sit. I already stepped on him once this evening - yes, I felt horrible about it. And Cooper's training of "Mr Froggie Is Our Friend" only seems to work while I am within eyesight.
188: DPRK is so close to DORK and DARK
187: I thought that Iran's Prez Ahmadinejad wore a 'Member's Only' jacket until I saw NoKo Prez Kim Jong Ill wear one too, so it must be a 'Dictator's Only' model
186: Ghandi: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" Ernest: ".. and puts all the optometrists out of business, leading to a world ruled by a master race of German Shepherd Dogs"
185: I got my new handle for FaBo: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvuuxyz (I like my Double U)
184: Today's Life Lesson: Its a good thing carpet comes in a lemonade color.
183: I checked my earnings from Google advertisements from writing on the Internet. So far I am up to 13 cents. At this rate I will be a millionaire in about 44 years if I can get it to double every 23 months.
182: The irony of war: Most wars are fought about dirt & people. They die & get put in dirt, consuming more dirt & having less people. Lose-Lose
181: "Yes, Cooper, I realize I should be outside enjoying the coolest part of the day instead of working on this complex Excel function"
180: () If you think o herding cats O is diFFicult, you % should try teNNis baLLs ..0oO@8..
179: Does your wife know 'Hindi'? No, her do know 'Urdu'. Well, a few of words anyway. Like 'Happy' and 'Christmas' and 'Hello'. 'Hello' is 'Helo' and 'Christmas' is 'krismas' and 'Happy' sounds like the last name of the President of Egypt, so that will make it easy to remember. Everything else is harder than that.
178: PPOOP - A new acronym I created about an hour ago just as I woke up: Political Prisoner Of Office Politics
177: The ads popping up on my web browser are starting to get more personal with a change from "Get A Car Loan Even With Bad Credit" to "Get A Car Loan Even With YOUR Bad Credit"
176: A friend of one of my friends in Facebook mentioned that he likes having a 'Like' button but it would be nice to have an 'Unlike' button as well. But because it was a friend of a friend, I did not even have the option of registering a 'Like' for his 'Unlike' idea and I did not like this non-feature. Facebook - The UnLike Unable Place
175: Interesting: I started a fresh note in Facebook yesterday about how the government of Iran was blocking Facebook right before the national election. I left it in the system as a rough draft. Now I can't find it. Hmmm....
174: I wonder how many times I will have to tell MySpace NO to their stupid pop-up screen for the same &@^^')) irritating question over and over and ....
173: Don't mistake my kindness and patience as a sign of weakness. You won't enjoy the consequences.
172: I wanted to send you a card the other day, but they were out of the 'Please come home from the Army before some psychopath kills you' bin at the Hallmark store
171: My early morning not so dark sky has gone from a few noctilucent clouds with moonshine scattered across full force on my turf to cloud cover translucence on edges of a rolling roiling not really boiling lunar glow as everything near ground level that could be closely considered white responds echoishly with its w-light from the hardened dirt path resembles Milky Way to the dog treat pile scattered pieces The Pleiades
170: Ernest wonders just how much longer it will be before China tells N-Korea, "Would you just SHUT up! You are embarrassing the neighbors. Do you want to be 'Tibet-ized' ?"
169: Yea! I saw "My First Tomato of The Year" when I went to turn the lights off in the kitchen. It is almost time to move most of the moist tomato garden in buckets from by the back glass door to the glorious more solar outdoors. Solanum lycopersicum. Spring. May. Here we come!
168: Today was "Take Your Fake Sister To Work Day" so I had a great time with two of them.
167: I just noticed that actor Mel Gibson and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad look very much alike, or maybe I just need new glasses. One of those guys keeps appearing in a scary ad in Facebook (It was Mel G. in a beard)
166: T-"It is only 9:47 and it feels more like midnight" E-"Yeah, it feels more like 9:53 to me" T-"But you slept all day" E-"Honey, that's only 6 minutes difference" T-"Oh"
165: Children need to learn the subtle differences and the dire consequences of when their parents say "no", "No", "NO", and "NO!!!!!". And, "NO!!!!!", those were not 'happy' exclamation marks just then.
164: Ernest is wondering which is more difficult: To disagree on how we agreed to disagree in the past, or to agree to not disagree on how we are to agree in the future?
163: I just heard yelling and screaming outside my house. I looked out the front window to see "children" playing in the street. One "child" was sitting in the wheelchair and the other "child" was standing on the back part as it came down the hill. My dog was not amused.
162: There are just only so many things worth thinking about, and if you tried to think about all of them AND you wanted to know the exact number of things out there that were truly worth thinking about, well, then you would be thinking about one thing too many.
161: All Interrogators of the Justice Department (I-Men) know in the summer time to offer just mint flavored ice as a favorite favor treat meant for bribing the soon to be deported Sunni men in their snow cones instead of using terror or some times, alligators during interviews.
160: Just thinking about building an igloo soon . . . . . . . only I have no igloo glue or own nails made of hailstone.
159: Do you know what it feels like to be totally crushed beyond belief, relief, grief, and at the mercy of some shameless nameless faceless thief? Well, that isn't me at the moment. But the morning is young.
158: I was wondering this: If Meryl Streep had peeps, and those peeps had peeps who didn't know Meryl and Meryl didn't know them, would they be known as non-non-peeps of peeps of Meryl Streep? And if you alphabetized and ranked your peeps and had 12 of them, would the last one be known as peep L? If so, Judas was Jesus' peep L.
157:I was watch-ing a kind-of screen saver at MySpace when suddenly the real screen saver on my computer starts running, only it was just slightly different, as that picture show has almost the same ones in a slightly different order. But my pet owl kept saying "Who?" and I would have to explain things over and over and ov..
156: I am a man soon to get salmon !!!
155: The headline today was 'Obama Wants High Paying High Skill Jobs in the Future (AP)' - and I am thinking to my-unemployed-self: Doesn't he already have a pretty high paying complicated job as President of the US of A?
154: Now it seems to me that the process of parenting was a big giant waste of my time & $$$, especially now that the U S Fed Govt has got involved trying to undo it
153: I wished we were a wee bit Irish, are we?
152: If you think that it is interesting/strange/bizarre that I work on a dozen languages and several writings systems, just think what my dog has to put up with from me.
151: Ernest has just discovered the interestingly shaped typos of the word 'suddenly': suppenly, subbenly, and suqqenly.
150: I have been training my wife on some Eskimo skills (such as cleaning food off a sharp knife with just your tongue) just in case we have to relocate to the Arctic for employment. She is a slow learner and refuses to try this 'dishwashing' technique.
149: Ernest is just experiencing a typical day of being invisible, saving private chicken (plural), and finding a big shiny pretty $4000 rock (on sale!!!)
148: I think that most of the people around me live in such a tiny world (or the crazy ones - a luna) that they have no idea or can even begin to comprehend, my Jupiter existence
147: Sometimes in the course of human events, some humans get off-course and become coarse and then untimely and inhumanely vent and curse. It's like they switched courses in midstream.
146: Ernest is just sitting back watching good vs evil play out before his eyes knowing that evil people eventually dry up and blow away and to just have patience
145:Ernest is writing a poem about the purchase mixup of a 'Bullet Proof Vest' & a 'Pullet Proof Nest', a device he just invented to get young chickens to leave home.
144: Ernest is in a state of shock. A terrible thing has happened in his life: I needed to know the cube root of 2 just now and suddenly realized I didn't know it. I just felt so cold inside, so numb; numb~b~r~r
143: Ernest is free !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!:
142: Ernest noticed that it doesn't take a village to raise an idiot, but they keep appearing. Where do village idiots come from?
141: Ernest just created a new word. "legally" it is pronounced 'leg' 'all' 'eeee' - it means when everyone has their legs pointed in the same direction.
140: It takes considerable talent to turn a win-win situation into a sin-sin situation. (Note to math people: that was not trigonometry just then)
139: Ernest is shutting down for a very long time. Goodbye.
138: Ernest is a dog massage-by-feet therapist in training. Yes, thats 'feet' not 'foot'.
137: I was thinking about getting an iPhone, its pretty cool, but it sounds too egotistical, "I, I","me, me, me". Just remember, 'iPhone' backwards is 'enohPi', and when you Google that, you STILL get iPhone! Amazing................
136: I was going to change my MySpace headline to something really special but now I forgot what it was going to be so I typed THIS instead.
135: Ernest has learned how to make a survival tent out of his shirt. Was chilly. Now warm except where a wig would be if I wore one. So it is a non-wig-wa(r)m wigwam.
134: Ernest is saddened deeply by the tragic events of one selfish person in Covina CA destroying the lives of so many.
133: There have been extremely brief periods in my life when the only thing I think about are little tiny dots. (Oops! I did it again!)
132: You can tell he is a true computer geek: all his shirts are red, green, and blue.
131: I have learned that my wife really doesn't like some of my relatives, especially my father-in-law (YES, as always, I did get her permission to post this.)
130: Ernest is under at&tack from AT&T who are good at tacking on AT&Taching charges at&t an ear-ritating alarming hyperinflationary irrational rate; I irate > they pirate. <br
Dakota F. (Cutest Person in Hollywood besides her sister Elle F.)
Uma T. (Murder Williams Once and Twice)
People Who Have Freaked Me Out: See "Flying Dude" Loic Jean-Albert on YouTube from the Warren Miller ski movie "Journey"
Three Famous Encounters:
Met a tired and sweaty Itzhak Perlman in Topeka Kansas after a wonderful performance of Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major
My younger son played with Debra Winger's child during the filming of the movie "Leap of Faith" in Claude Tx until we were asked to leave by security
Got some aspirin-like-substance < ? > for the gospel group "Imperials" after their performance in Amarillo Tx; I believe it was for the singer Russ Taff
Tell Tam I miss her!!! I need a trim SOOOOOOOOO bad and I'm afraid to let anyone here touch my hair...lol. Guess I'll have to make a trip up that way very soon! Hope you all are doing well and enjoying the new houses!!!
I'd forgotten about that blog! It was called Thunder Storms and Lightning Bugs, and the only copy of it was on my old Myspace account. That'll teach me. Xx
Haaaaaa! I almost put the picture of the Space Needle in the 'I Love Lamp' folder, but decided against it at the last minute. Once again your photo comments have put a huge smile on my face. Thanks! Xx
Yay! I'm glad you like 'I Love Lamp!' Most of the pics are mine, but there are a few that I snagged from other places. Stay tuned for more as I think it will be a very easy album to add to!!! Xx
Hi Ernest! I'm glad you think washing dishes is fun! I bet Tamie loves you being home! Well thought I would drop in and say Hi! You have a Merry Christmas!
hey there!!! just read your blogs and laughed my butt off! hope aunt tamie is doing better. tell her that im going to put in some job applications tomorrow at montage and jolz and maybe tony & guy (maybe!) enjoyed spending time with you the other night!!! got new pictures u should check um out! mmmmrrrrrrr
hey stepbro...I have a confession...I have been on friends list for how long now and I still can't say I have read your entire profile...lol...what can I say I'm not much of a reader...You need to slow down please!! ha...Hope you all are doing great..Sorry to hear about Tammy my prayers are with you all. Love ya!
Yea, the mysterious place called Darrouzett TX, and there was an artificial upper limit of only 8'11" for my body info, so it makes me sound like a midget. Also, "Body Builder" is appropriate knowing how much $$$ I have put into its construction, you just have to understand what it means exactly, knowing my mass of round rotundness. I have a blog to write about that,coming soon titled "Being Thankful for 4 Feet", almost completed.
