Jimmy McPeek

“My vision is to make this the most diverse state on Earth, and we have people from every planet on Earth in this state.” ~California governor Gray Davis

"Our porkchops are hand-breaded and fried to a delicious golden perfection." ~Waitress from Cracker Barrel

"What's the difference between a #8 (chicken club) and a #9 (chicken classic)? Well, #8 is a club and #9 is a classic, sir." ~A dude from McDonald's

G4TV AOTS 4-2-08
Chris Hardwick: "This video taught us that Russians are crazy people that can never be trusted."
Audience: "USA! USA! USA! USA!"
Anna David: " You know I'm part Russian."
Chris Hardwick: "You're Russian to get in these pants!"
Audience: "USA! USA! USA!


"Always aim for high goals: if you don't succeed that is ok. If you don't succeed with low goals, you are in trouble." ~Mr. Hepner 2008

"I got rejected on eharmony...there isn't one person in the world who viewed my profile. lol" ~ Fajah

"Sorry I'm late, I'm just very important." ~ Oskar de Vries, Hank Hill's dog spiritualist

"Now Mr. Henderson, was that vulgarity necessary?" ~The uber hotel worker in AZ

"What is your most memorable memory?" ~ Adam Shefter

"I got banned from priceline.com...they refused to negotiate." ~ Fajah

lol Goobersmooch ~ King of the Hill or fajah

Smoochie Fly aka: Potbelly ~ lol Fajah

"The true question in life is whether to choose the uber Chuck Norris or the ultimate sales person Billy Mays...???"

"Everything is possible. It's just whether you can do it."

"The ultimate offense in football is Elway's power, Sanders's agility, and Rice's speed. And for defense...actually, all you need is Howie Long."

"So, is the sirline burger soup being delivered by USP?" ~ lol Mom

"I only work four hours tomorrow...it's not Marco Cinco day yet. Oh wait! I said it wrong, I had food in my mouth." ~ LOL Mom

"We have room for but one flag, the American flag. We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language. And we have room for but one sole loyalty, and that is a loyalty to the American people." ~ Theodore Roosevelt, 1907

"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be." ~ Albert Einstein

"A lot of people give up just before they're about to make it. You know you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one." ~ Chuck Norris

"An agent is a person who is sore because an actor gets 90% of what they make." ~ Elton John

"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus." ~ Ozzy Osbourne

"I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat, but that's ok - that bat had to get Ozzy shots." ~ Ozzy Osbourne

"I'm getting the basics with the AFL, but the NFL is a different animal." ~ John Elway

"To me it was never about what I accomplished on the football field. It was about the way I played the game." ~ Jerry Rice

"Let's just win it and go home." ~ Barry Sanders

"If I can change, then anyone can change. I promise you that." ~ Brett Favre

"I would like 2 sweet teas with no suger...and a bacon, lettuce, tomaty sandwidge." ~ Mother 4-30-08 LOLOLOL

"Always act stupid. Because when you do something stupid, people will think it's just your personality and you won't get blamed as much."

"Never do a good job when someone tells you to do something. That way they will never ask you to do something again." ~ Phil Margera

"Knowledge is what you know. Intelligence is how you use your knowledge." ~ Mr. Hepner

"Never end a sentence a proposition with." ~ As told by Mr. Hepner

"There are only 10 kind of people in this world. Those who know binary and those who don't" ~ As told by Mr. Hepner

"You only get nervous if you don't know what you're doing. I know what I'm doing." ~ Johnny Unitas

"You get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!" ~ Willy Wonka

"It was an ass whooping of biblical proportion." ~ Randy Cross, '81 49ers

"If you want something bad enough, you'll play thru the pain." ~ Hank Hill

"He has a beard, so he must have a deep voice." ~ Mom

"When in doubt, get the hell out." ~ TAPS

"Me: What gender are you?
Mom: American." ~ lol mom

"Those may not be his underwear lines under his pants...they may be tan lines." ~ Mom

"Your nose is under you mouth, maybe it's you!!" ~ Mom

"Let me see your pickle!" ~ Mom

"That farmer out there won the Outstanding in his Field award." ~ Fajah lol

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor." ~ Fajah lololol

"Now when you say mother-in-law, do you mean my mom or yours?" ~ Mom

"Duskie Estes" ~ Fajah lol

"The Jimbo of the Rings will rule them all!" ~ Ka Ng 2008 MHS

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger." ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Why so serious..." ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"And...here...we...go!" ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little... emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did." ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little... push." ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now... and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a dark knight." ~ Lt. Gordon, The Dark Knight

"The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!" ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"If you're good at something, never do it for free." ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Sometimes, truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded." ~ Batman, The Dark Knight

"It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair!" ~ Two-Face, The Dark Knight

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain" ~ Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

"The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming." ~ Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

"Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck." ~ Lucious Fox, The Dark Knight

"I said it couldn't hurt your chances." ~ Two-Face, The Dark Knight

"Look up, get up, and don't ever give up." ~ Michael Irvin, HoF Acceptance speech

"Love can feel like heaven but hurt like hell." ~ Destiny Plantz

"There is no such thing as impossible. There is only improbable."

"Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes permanent." ~ Mr. Very, Mead music teacher.

"Hold on I got a text from my mom... NO WAY we're having maccroni tonight that means garlic bread! Yes!" ~ Clark, The Benchwarmers

"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus." ~ Ozzy Osbourne

"Add a bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs. And pray to God she doesn't multiply." ~ LOL some kid's poem for Mrs. Morse's Valentine's Day project

"Lemme show ya something!" ~ Fire Marshall Bill