5'9" (thought I was 5'11", but got informed that I'm not, seems the people who measured me were wrong), black hair, black clothes, pale skin, and unlike all the other Goths, nobody actually did understand me as a teenager;A lesbian and I had a stammer. Even so it didn't make my poetry any better or more deep, it was still self indulgent rubbish, some people say the same of my comedy. Others say things like "Any God that would put me and her and ecstacy in the same city has an amazing sense of humour!" - Doug Stanhope, or "Black is most definitely back!" - BBC Tees Online, or "Solidly Engaging" and "A sharp tongue and an engaging personality you'd like to hear more from." - Steve Bennett, Chortle.co.uk, the Radio man from the BBC Cleveland said I was "Brilliant!", and the nice woman from BBC Newcastle Online said I was "A seductively intriguing cross between Marilyn Manson and Corrie's Haley Cropper " Which I wasn't too pleased about at first, but she meant well. Brendon Burns once said I was "Fucking funny" but that was when he was still doing drugs, so I'm not sure you can entirely count on the accuracy of that statement.
These days I tell true stories about some of my adventures, as you can imagine, my life's a bit odd on a day to day basis. If you like that sort of thing then do come and check me out.
Here's me talking about Glastonbury:
Peter Cook, Chris Morris, Bill Hicks, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, John Lydon, Jason Cook, Silky, Glenn Wool, Brendon Burns, Jimmy Cricket, Richard Pryor, The Marx Brothers, Eddie Izzard, Josie Long, Daniel Kitson, Kenneth Williams, Mark Thomas, Wil Hodgson, Stewart Lee, Jason Rouse, Jane Mackay, Dug Shelmerdine, Michael J Dolan, Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, Tim Burton, My Dad, My Mum, My Brother, My Sister and her partner, Sarah, this list could go on a while, there are lots of people I work with on a daily basis who influence my work in all sorts of ways.
TV Shows
The Richard Hammond 5 O'clock Show. ITV1
Take Two BBC1, this was in the late 1980's when I was about 8 years old.
also a couple of TV Pilots that no one will ever see.
Bethany Black's Interests
General
Experience, dancing, being funny, making funny things happen, making the world a fun place not just for me but for everyone I meet.
Well, I like going out, and staying in, when I'm not going out or staying in, I inhabit a parrallel plane of existence, kind of like purgatory, but with better weather.
When I'm out I`m usually found dancing like a twat or working in clubs up and down the country flapping my mouth and letting noises come out with form into rude stories that make groups of strangers laugh for anything upto an hour at a time, which is something I like doing.
When I'm staying in I'm cooking extravagant meals, everything's in the presentation, or I'm reading or generally being fun.
Actually that's my main hobby. I'll tell you a little story and I swear that it is true, about a year ago, I learned the meaning of life, and I'm prepared to share it with all y'all right... now.
So I'm at Glastonbury and it's all going well I'm having fun and I've not slept for nearly a week, I think I've made friends with and hugged all 125,000 party goers and told them that even though I've just met them I feel like I can really get on with them, and like they're ace and like they'll be really successful. Anyway I go for a walk and I eat some mushrooms and I buy a ukulele, it's going well. and then I sit down and realise that none of this means anything, our lives don't matter because they're only our subjective expeiriencing of something much bigger that we're a part of, and when we're gone they won't make any difference to us, in effect all we are is the ripples we create, the effect we have on other people and we should try and make that better for them.
Then I drank some orange juice and cursed myself for sounding like a hippy, but at the same time realising that the meaning of life is just this "Create the world you want, and then live in it."
Since that day I've followed that mantra and it's been ace.
So, yeah, well my hobbies do include talking a huge amount of shite.
Music
everything except "RnB" shite like Marriah Carrey and Hard house, trance and Uk Garage, but you know there's a place for all of them in my plan, if you like listening to country wilst dressed lie a Goth, or Beethoven whilst looking like a sk8er then join us too, you'll fit right in. I'm sat here in my cowboy hat singing along to Snoop at the moment, Chill.
Movies
They all have their time and place.
Television
Well being a big old Lezzer, the L word is a must, Dr Who! I also quite like lost, but you know mostly it stops you from going out there and causing trouble, which is a bad thing, get off your arse nad have fun, cause more trouble than the clap in a convent.
Books
All of them, never stop reading, never stop learning, remember they're all fiction and non fiction at the same time.
Heroes
Every single one of my friends, especially Dug, Sarah, Brendon, Paddy, Jude, Lucy, Max, Jonathan, Rosie, each and every one of them has made me look at the world in a different way all for the best, join us, fall in love with us.
About me: Wikipedia says "Bethany Black is the black sheep of her deeply religious family. While her mother, father, and brother sit down to study the Bible, she is off skating, smoking, and doing other things her family considers wicked. One day, while being chastised for her behavior, the rapture occurs. Her pious family, along with all of the other righteous humans, ascends to Heaven, while everyone else is left behind on Earth. God sends a message that he will now forsake Earth, and Satan and his demons rise from Hell to take over the planet. Ten years later, Bethany is working for the demon Lord Belial. She works for him in a bar and serves as a pet. She in turn has a pet demon named Bloato. Bloato is a "half-breed" demon, meaning that his mother and father are of two different species of demon. Earth has become Hell, with demons, giant insects, and fire reigning. Humans exist as slaves, used for labor and sex. In her years in Belial's servitude, Bethany has begun learning magic, and often uses protect spells to shield herself from the violent demons. One day, Bethany gets fed up and incurs Belial's wrath. While trying to escape her enraged master, Bloato tells her about the one remaining gate to Heaven, and that if Bethany can get to it, she may be able to sneak into Heaven. The gate is located in Vatican City." But I think that's about another Bethany Black, however it is incredibly accurate.
Withnell... shit; I'm still only in Withnell... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back on stage. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my girlfriend, until I said "yes" to us splitting up. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back on stage. I'm here a week now... waiting for a gig... getting softer; every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every time Dug gets a gig, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter.
Sorry, erm, about me, well I'm constantly bouncing back, constantly evolving, looking for experience, and extremes, I want each and everyone of you to have a good time as often as you can, I discovered the meaning of life during a particularly weird magic mushroom trip, and it is this "you can't change the past, but the future's yours to make your own, so create the world you want, and live in it."
Over time I've changed everything about who I am to create the world I want and I'm on the verge of something big, be my friend come along for the ride, it'll be weird, but I guarantee your life will be better for it.
You scored as The Stud. Often seen as the quiet loner, you often dress in leather and stand in the rain hoping to meet a potential lover.
Who I'd like to meet: Everyone who's out there, some of you will be ace, some of you will be so dreary that even some weapons grade MDMA couldn't make you interesting, but that doesn't matter, come and join us, we're very accepting.
I like strong personalities, people who know what they want, and go out to get it. Or people who don`t know what they want but are prepared to get off their arses and have a go.
I don`t like people who are selfish and spoiled, I`ll go to the ends of the earth for my friends and I expect them to at least be there for me if I need them sometimes.
I like outgoing people in general and people who like getting off their arse and doing stuff.
There`s a big wide world out there full of endless possibilities that you can get up to, fun to be had, things to do that you later regret, life is short get as much from it as you can.
That`s the sort of thing I look for in my friends.
After you've finished here, you may like to hear this poem sung on myspace...
Poem 162 of 230, WalkaboutsVerse (please see my blog): TEES TO TYNE: FIRST IMPRESSIONS - SUMMER 2001
Where traditions are not so rare; Sea, country and works scent the air; A multitude of monuments, Planted tubs and patterned pavements.
The longish pedestrian malls; The remnants of defensive walls; Historic buildings are a gauge Of the respect for heritage.
Wheat, rape and pines in the fields; Estuaries guarded by shields; Long sandy beaches and wide scenes; Romantic-ruin go-betweens.
Rivers in parts licked by trees, Or fringed by boat clubs, wharfs, gantries, And crossed by practical delights - Varied spans, forming pleasing sights.
Fine churches headed at Durham; Football kits ad infinitum; Kept castles - one for study; Masonry behind masonry.
And, with moulding-works out that way, It’s somewhere for a longer stay..?
Mysti Vine - Probably the worlds only Black Burlesque Comedienne. Mysti is winging her way to us from Canada and she is bringing her world famous V-stume act with her.
Angel LaVey - Unveiling two new frighteningly original and bizarre Burlesque creations.
Glorian Gray - Eternal Burlesque from a very classy lady.
Al Rudge - Performing magic that will astound and mesmerize you.
Al Grant - The crazy Compere. Who knows what he will do or say next?
Violet Va Voom - The best things come in little packages, and this little lady will tease the pants off of you.
Wudwud - You've never seen stand - up comedy like this before.
Pipi Strella - Bringing a delightful Eastern twist to the evening.
After you've finished here, you may like to hear this poem sung on myspace...
Poem 2 of 230, WalkaboutsVerse (please see my blog): WALKABOUT WITH MY PEN
Once drove an old sedan, up north, From a place in Sydney to Cairns; Then to Kuranda I went forth, By train, to look without set plans.
I browsed through the trendy market, With fresh fruits of tropical kind; Walked to the creek through lush thicket - Nature’s hand giving peace of mind.
I dined in a scenic cafe; Then, outside, as I wrote for yen, Some passing Kooris called-out: “Hey, You go walkabout with your pen.”
Request or question, I don’t know - Assured voices, elderly men. That’s now several years ago, And I’ve seen the world - with my pen.
*********************************************
in previsione dei campionati europei
di varsavia 2009
intervista a i ragazzi della nazionale
a Torino nel giugno 2009
Time To Pick Your Poison: Heaven in High Heels or Hell on Earth.
Welcome to the darkest summer in the history of Birmingham burlesque, and the culprit behind this black summer? None other than Gehenna of the Silk Stocking Striptease Show. However, never fear, bringing the light to the event will be Angel LaVey of the Silk Stocking Striptease Show. Whether you want something, light and comical or dark and deviant, the 9th Silk Stocking Striptease Show will have something for you. Pick your poison, light or dark, we have it all and we guarantee to satisfy your cravings.
The Silk Stocking Striptease Show Nine will be taking place on the 8th of August 2009 at The Flapper Pub. Tickets will cost you £7.50 in advance from www.birminghamburlesque.com and will be on sale until midday on the 8th of August. You will be able to buy tickets on the door at £9 each, subject to availability. The doors to the show open at 7:30pm and the show will begin at 8:30pm.
The Silk Stocking Striptease Show is sponsored by WWW.SMELLYOURMUM.COM offensive slogan t-shirts.
Click the flyer for our website and to buy
tickets.
Come and join the Save Burlesque Campaign at Proud Camden
for a glittering line of acts and performer;
Your compere, the indomitable Fred Bear will weave
together the beguiling performances from;
Mysti Vine –
taunts you with her stand up vagina and dark shadows
Ruby Rose –
shows you her gloves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tempest Rose –
develops a new habit
Kiki Kaboom –
Winner of the London Burlesque Festival Best Newcomer
Cecilia Rouge
– Our own northern light bedecked in rose petals
With special appearances from;
Jo King –
Britains Grand Dame of burlesque
Gwendoline
Lamour – the epitome of burlesque G’Lamour
Together with music from;
Tricity Vogue
– with her little pink instrument.
Twin & Tonic
– Sensational swing band and morally outraged!
DJ Lady Kamikaze – Slinky spinner of Lady
Luck Club renown
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After you've finished here, you may like to hear this poem sung on myspace...
Poem cum song 2 of 230, WalkaboutsVerse (please see my blog):
WALKABOUT WITH MY PEN
Once drove an old sedan, up north,
From a place in Sydney to Cairns;
Then to Kuranda I went forth,
By train, to look without set plans.
I browsed through the trendy market,
With fresh fruits of tropical kind;
Walked to the creek through lush thicket -
Nature’s hand giving peace of mind.
I dined in a scenic cafe;
Then, outside, as I wrote for yen,
Some passing Kooris called-out: “Hey,
You go walkabout with your pen. "
Request or question, I don’t know -
Assured voices, elderly men.
That’s now several years ago,
And I’ve seen the world - with my pen.
Come on kids Just two clicks once a day and you could get me an audition for "The Big Gay Sketch Show" It's easier then taking your birth control and a lot more fun. If you could just cut and paste the link or try Clicking
Online Now!
