Anything that holds my attention for more than 5 minutes,and if its not on my doorstep i dont give a frig,yes,i am small minded,and love being in my safe,comfy ignorant little world.Cadburys creme egg bars,science experiments:-how many flumps can i eat before i puke pink foam,what frozen objects will stick to my tongue,if i play with my belly button will my arse really fall off,what foods make me windy / smelly,how much can i drink before i REALLY need to pee.How much can i drink before i pass out.(ive tried this one several times,but i keep losing count,so have to repeat it). Livers, and how they manage to regenerate.I keep forgetting my thesis on that one too,does alcohol really affect brain/memory function. I like science.
Music
My cd collection goes from classical through to prodigy,i hate country music,but have been known to sing loudly to "stand by your man",down the pub,i cant't believe i've just admitted that one,in my defence i had several large vodkas on board, and a gun to my head. Avril lavine is a fave,just because it knobs my sis off,being the eldest,its my god given right.Default discs are; carry on up the charts,beautiful south, and alanis morrisette,jagged little pill, she makes sense when the whole world is out to get you. CD of the moment:massive attack,collected,and Orbital,halycon.I like beautiful south (the house martins to all you oldies) they are ace.
Movies
I haven't done anything new lately,due to paramount terminating my contract after some problems with slimming pills and other prescription drugs.However i like to watch;the shining,weird science,face/off,the colour purple,green mile
Television
Of course! I aint no pikey! Despite my earrings and living in Southmead. Green wing,Ghost squad,Top Gear, Wife swap. Yes i have a television, and i'm proud.It also keeps me company,when my sis goes to festivals, or replaces me with a TOY BOY.
Books
Anything by Martina Cole,Roald Dahl,reference books,reference books,reference books.Especially about beads.
Heroes
Sue White-I wish i could be that insensitive!
Trisha- she saves me from dealing wth my own crap
Peter Kay-Stunning observationist,
Andy Stewart-for carrying off ginger hair so well,
nic nacs-The only person I know who is AS crap as me!!Love you dude!
Steve Gillet-I wish i could be in-animate for that amount of time!
Roald Dahl,thanks to him,i can catch a pheasent,and i know where chocolate comes from.
About me: I would like to have tourettes.I want to have a catheter,no,you need to consider this before dismissing it, there are more advantages than you think. I like giving good advice, although i dont heed it. I pretend the world is black and white, secretly i know there is colour, it gets in the way. Im crap at keeping secrets. Honestly,dont tell me any. I hate untidyness, it makes my brain hurt. Im often wondering if my beloved has splashed shower gel on the bathroom tiles or if its something else, some how im never wondering if its chocolate on the towel, but how the offending stain got there after taking a shower. I hate tea. I love my smelly dog who shits everywhere when i go out and growls at my friends. Incompetent people frustrate me, i want to hit them. I like to drink. Lots. Gin makes me aggresive. Mushrooms make me fart. I love little shiny beads, and want to spend my days making things with them. I have an addictive personality, once is never enough, enough is never to much. Im extremely loyal. Im always late. I hate lateness, Im always ten minutes early an get frustrated when people get there on time and made me wait. I like solitude, but it bores me. I like pork scratchings, marshmallows and steak, but not together and not necessarily in that order. I wanted a brace when i was a kid so i could sit in class and lick the cornflake tart off of it. I could be better at maths. Id like to be able to draw. I like words that begin with p. pri*k is my favourite swear word.Men react to it the same way as women do to the C word. I want to have nicholas cage's babies but he is holding out on me.People trying to be continental get right on my wick i.e. people who say ciao and do that kiss on each cheek crap.People who cant say SPECIFIC. I have held conversations with people who seem very articulate,up until they say pacific,i then lose interest. Ironically,they usually throw this word in to give an air of intelligence. Although, I cannot say golf glove. I dont like hypocrits. I like irony. I love friends/family who i can just be quiet with.I HAVE GOT TO watch jeremy kyle every week day morning at 9.25. If able, i turn over to watch trisha at 10.30.If it wasnt for this i would be on time for work,at least once a week, that can't happen, ever. I get most pissed off when it is a re-union show,this puts my whole day out,i dont do sentimental shite.I like jaffa cakes and jammy dodgers, i love trifle,unless some bastard puts those nasty sponge things in the jelly. I want to know why when i wash up, I always check the bottom of the sink several times and still there is a teaspoon in the bottom when i pull the plug, and why im always wondering 'how come everyone uses the crockery but its only me that washes up'.I want to know where the little imp that messes up my house when i go to bed, hides.Do men really belive that floors are magic and wash, dry and put away there clothes. I can never find the cd i want to listen to. The phone always rings when i sit down to eat a meal. Who is sod and who allowed him to make so many rules? Do all roads really lead to rome? Why do i always need change when i have emptied it all into the savings jar? Will i really be bored when i retire, if so why not work when we are old, as all old people do is moan and wee. Get a catheter for gods sake. I love my husband because he accepts me in spite of the above. I love my kids, they accept me because they know no different. I wish i gave a shit about politics,but don't. Its all spin.Brian Cant childrens programmes should be on every day. I refuse to spend more than 20 quid on shoes,but i will spend £50 on beads.Thats me in a paragraph,if you dont like it, why dont you go switch off your computer and go off do something less boring instead.Yeh,that will help the ratings.
Who I'd like to meet: A rich man,who doesnt mind the fact that I am married,and come with a spaniel attached.Friends who i dont have to contact more than every leap year without feeling bad.Richard hammond, to find out how he felt getting back in a car,and why he lets jeremy get away with pretending to win,Jeremy Clarkson to find out why he wont approve my friend request, even though I spent money on his books which I may now put in the recycling bin.Any other material minded people,and jonny depp,of course...
Sunrise Celebration 09 Festival Launch party in Bristol
All invited!
Free entry to all Sunrise 09 ticket holders!
See www. sunrisecelebration. com for more details
Love Love Love
The Sunrise crew x
Local to whom? What happened? Strange that you, over there in deepest darkest Southmead, should know more about the goings on in my street than I do. Just proves what a terrible nosy gossip you are I suppose.
Pirahnas are wusses. We've got some in at work - you should see them trying to swim away from you really fucking fast, when they're only in a 4ft tank! It's VERY amusing. They obviously haven't heard about their own reputation...
What happened to curry night at the Stewart residence?
PS Thanks for grassing on me to your sister about those psycho comments she posted. I heard that grasses aren't too popular in the mead. Good luck with that.
I've so successfully repressed the experience with the clowns that I don't even know what clowns are.
In fact, I don't even know what I'm talking about.
What clowns?
What bad experience?
Who am I?
Who are YOU?
What am I doing here?
No really, I don't mind that I'm not showing up in your top 8 at all. Localboy was right - your friends list does reflect your real life situation. As in, I'm not in it. Fine. Just remember, two can play that game.
OK Now I KNOW you've signed in today, there's proof everywhere, but you've done nothing about putting me in my proper place in your top 8.
You suck.
It's official.
I'm telling our ma, and she's gonna beat you with the hairbrush (again).
Oh, and tell Mother if you must.
What's 14 years anyway? It's just a matter of time, and time is merely an illusion created by Einstein, who also invented the universe.
Everybody knows that.
In reality (and I mean the real one, not the one you see everyday), everything is happening all at once. It only looks linear to us because our brains can't cope with so much information all in one go, and so we break it all up into little pieces in order to prevent total overload.
It's a neat trick, sure, but it leaves us with a kind of limited view.
I'm sure he's actually much older than me in the real real life.
Would 'HAVE'. It's 'would HAVE', damn it, not 'would OF'. Ask yourself: what does the word 'of' mean?
Think about it, and then see if your sentence makes any kind of sense.
The whole freakin world keeps writing/saying 'should of', 'would of' and 'could of'. It's 'HAVE' Goddamnit!
I intend to set this straight. I'm going to publicly harrass EVERY SINGLE PERSON who does this from this moment on.
I don't care how many times I get called a freakin Nazi because of it.
Seriously, if there's one thing that will send me over the edge, this is it.
EXCUSE ME!
I booted my best friend out of my number one spot for you.
And I am not even in your top 8!
*Huffs*
My feelings are deeply, deeply hurt.
Or they would be, if I had any feelings for one so callous and uncaring as you.
