First off, I'd like to reaffirm that I am NOT a robot. This has been a topic of much heated debate and I am here, once again, to definitively address that query. I decided to interview myself, so here it is: Q: What is your function? You mean what do I do? Affirmative. A: I work for a bank as a process writer. Great fun.... I know. When I'm not working for money, I'm working for love. Q: You are a pleasure bot? A: Well...of that I have no doubt, but what I meant was, I have a wonderful family here in the OH, and I work very hard for them. I have two children who are in 4th and 3rd grade and then we have a preschooler in the house too. The older kids are mine and the younger one is my fantastic girlfriends child. She's my #1 below and no, I did not say that incorrectly. Q: In addition to the human children and young adult human in your home, is there anyone else that you include in your family unit? A: Oh definitely! We have a hamster named Spike and a gerbil named Luke (actually Lukey two, but that's another story). We also have a fairly new addition to our home. His name is Mojo and he is the best dog ever...when he is not crazy. He is a Shiba Be, which is what you get when a Beagle finds a Shiba Inu attractive for 2-5 minutes. Q: There are no pictures of the small humans you have designated as members of your family unit. Do they possess cloaking devices? A: No, no, no. I just don't feel comfortable in this day and age what with all the people of questionable mental capacity out there on the Gorernet. *Ahem* Next question please? Q: Is there anything your over lordship wants to share to make him seem MORE human? A: Sure. I enjoy movies and I don't just mean for the story telling aspect. I think one of the callings I missed was that of a continuity editor. I love looking for inconsistencies in moves and TV. I guess you could say I 'm just built that way. Um.... being right is also another past time of mine, but like Cassandra, it never does any good, so this year, I am looking to silently be right and hi-five myself quietly when whatever I predict comes to fruition. I love to cook and try new foods and recipes, but I hate cleaning-up afterwards. I despise grocery lists. If I am in the store and I am the cook, I need to wander. I think coffee and I were separated at birth. I treat it as one of the 3 main food groups. I know there are more than those, but I did not like that and so broke them down into more manageable ones. 1. Things I should eat but don't. 2. Things I do eat but shouldn't. 3. Things I must have to function. Coffee is in that last one. So are back rubs. I know that's not a food, but the list is still being tweaked. I love bad movies and will rate them on a scale of 1-5 Kulls. A rating of 5 is really bad, so when you are watching a really bad movie, that's what you want. If you don't understand the rating system, go watch Kull with Kevin Sorbo and get back to me I love beer and wine. I don't drink a lot, but when I do, I love a nice pint of Guinness. On that note, I love pubs. Dark, loud and full of atmosphere. I don't get to them often, but I would like to. If you have a favorite one, lay it on me and I'll go check it out. This year I am dedicated to getting thinner. It's hard to believe that up until I was 24 I weighed like 135lbs. Then one day I bent over and on my way up I made the Dad noise. I vow to get into better shape and to start; I am going to join a drinking club with a running problem. We'll see how that goes. In the summer, you can find me trying to be outdoors, but that probably only means that I am watching plays in the park, going to the zoo or the many cultural fests around town or just BBQing. I'll close by saying that I am from NYC and always looking for newly displaced New Yorkers to show around town and get to know. With that being said, if you should want to know more about me, or if you have a reasonable request to know less, send me a message.