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http://www.FetchThatSite.com
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Music
Top 10 Dog Country & Western Songs:
10. "Don't Chase That Pickup, Rover Boy", by Tex Critter.
9. "Howlin' Over You", by Bonnie Bloodhound.
8. "Four On The Floor", by The Toolbox Terriers.
7. "That Ain't My Collar", by Woof Brooks.
6. "Out Behind The Pool Hall", by Johnny Dumpster.
5. "Bad, Bad Leroy Hound", by Willie Welshound.
4. "Don't Kick The Supper Dish", by Flea G. Shepherd.
3. "Boot Chewin' Boogie", by Hank The Cowdog.
2. "Dog Chow Blues", by The Chuck Wagon Chasers.
1. "Fleas Release Me", by Bark Collie.
Movies
Top 10 All-Time Dog Movies:
10. "Abbott and Costello Meet Cujo". Who's on Lou?
9. "The Howling". Story of a Rotweiller and a mousetrap.
8. "All Dogs Go To Heaven". Documentary.
7. "The Maltese Milk Bone". Action adventure, starring Humphrey Gobark.
6. "The Postman Always Rings Twice". Tutorial for territorial terriers.
5. "Terminator III - Garbage Day". Cyborg meets up with crazed Cocker Spaniel. Asta la Vista, Arnold.
4. "Back To The Future IV - Einstein's Revenge", starring Michael J. Foxhound. Einstein steals the DeLorean.
3. "The Bad News Beagles". Snoopy gets rid of that loser, Charlie Brown, leads a team of beagles to the Little League World Series.
2. "Dial M for Mustard". Murderous dachsund leaves a trail of condiments.
1. "Reservoir Dogs." Don't drink the water...
Television
The Animal Channel
Books
Top 10 Alltime Doggie Bestsellers:
10. "Fire Hydrants of New York", by Rusty the Firehouse Dalmation.
9. "Oh No, Timmy's In The Well Again!", by Lassie with Rudd Weatherwax.
8. "101 Ways To Skin A Cat", by Duke "Crocodile" Dingo Dog.
7. "Why People Throw Sticks, And What To Do About It", by FetchBoy the Golden Retriever.
6. "Stop Chasing Cats and Start Catching Them", by Dr. Rover Tilted.
5. "How I Licked The Toilet Bowl Habit", by Sammy Snauzer.
4. "No Bad Dogs", by Professor Hugo Sitt.
3. "Teach Your Human To Heel", by Rowf Rotweiller.
2. "Spit For Life", by Pete the Wonderdog.
1. "Good Kitty, Dead Kitty", by Spot "Psycho" Poodle.
10. Get out the nachos and cheese, crank up the macarena on the stereo!
9. Play "hide in the dryer" with the cat. Comes out nice & fluffy.
8. Log on the the Internet, answer e-mail from adoring fans.
7. Check the couch cushions for last nights leftovers...
6. Check out the cross-dressing dogs and the owners who love them...up next on Geraldo!
5. Work on those memoirs...Chapter 2, "The day I found out I was a dog."
4. Call up the neighbors, pant heavily into the phone...
3. Practice looking excited when the people get home.
2. Return Bill's phone call...help him out with the Whitewater thing...
1. Make faces at the neighbor's rotweiller!
Life Lessons Learned from a Dog:
1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
Who I'd like to meet: Cute, well-behaved and groomed dogs with nice figures.
Dogs and people with good senses of humor!
Dog Humor:
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"
The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"
"That will be $330." the vet replied.
"I don't believe it!!!", screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330??
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
