Howie: songs, riffs/chords Matt: attitude, rhythms Drew: noise, leads YOUR NAME HERE: Massive blues / gospel / classic metal voice. Any age, gender, ethnic background, sexual orientation, planet of origin in the Kansas City metro. Contact us for more info.
Influences
Black fucking Sabbath, the rotting corpse of John Bonham, Keith Richards' bottle of Scotch, Eddie Van Halen's smoking habit, Arthur Bryant's ribs, half-read Charles Bukowski novels, the Wu-Tang Manual, Alejandro Jodorowski, that asshole Lou Reed, The STOOGES, and tape hiss.
"Loud, fun but not funny, NON-INDIE band in KC area is full of dudes that can't sing. Please visit www.myspace.com/fiftybearsinafight and if interested, call (number) to see when/where it is that we practice.
Please show up with some idea of what you're doing with at least a couple of the songs, because pointless grabass is generally not encouraged during practice, and we aren't going to 'just like get high and hang out and like shoot the shit or something dude it's all cool.' We've got fucking child support to pay and our time is precious.
Bonus points if singer is over 6 feet 7.5 inches in height, has access to an authentic viking helmet, and speaks fluent Italian. Double bonus points if you bring beer to practice. I like the pale, or just some High Life."
SCARY:
"1. It visits www.myspace.com/fiftybearsinafight.
2. It likes the music.
3. It writes lyrics and sings a song.
4. It emails mr@mrfuriousrecords.com
5. It comes to our house to play with us.
6. Or else it gets the hose again."
PARANOID:
"Dissident rock band seeks vocalist to carry message of revolution and violence to desperate proles. Go to www.myspace.com/fiftybearsinafight, email mr@mrfuriousrecords.com, and make sure you aren't followed to practice. Bring duct tape, a passport, two weeks-worth of toilet paper, a large roll of aluminum foil, and $1000 in Mexican currency. Wear earmuffs or else they will hear your thoughts."
DICKISH:
"Be in our band.
Fuck you.
mr@mrfuriousrecords.com "
SCHIZO:
"Ghost penis!
www.myspace.com/fiftybearsinafight."
........
...Fifty Bears Fighting in a Room?
...A Thousand-Bear Fight?
...10,000 Bears Attack Your Mom?
...A Billion Bears Scratching At Your Door?
Well I'll be working on my audition tape using Audacity here in the next few days. Oxford can be a little tiresome and its nice to be able to break out of the monotony occasionally with a little exxxxpression.
This shit sounds fucking hot, boys! It's still interesting, even without a singer, so just imagine what it will be like once Robert Plant shows up to practice!
