Kris was born in 1971. He's been dying ever since.
Etkilendikleri
Alcohol
Selfish People
Parents who can’t love
Ex-girlfriends
Anything television tells me
Üyeler
Sy Sperling
TV Programları
Jeopardy!
Bless this House
The John Larroquette Show
CBS Evening News
Fox 25 News
The Kris Show
Skitso!
Last Comic Standing 2
Last Comic Standing 5
Late Night with Conan O'Brien (promptly rubbed out for a commerical)
Filmler
School Tires (1992)
Houseshitter (1992)
Malice (1993)
Aphrodesiac (2004)
Fever Pitch (2005)
The Game Plan (2007)
Low Tide (2007)
Boston Psych (2008)
Albümler
Here comes Kris Eagles (1999)
Look at the Asshole! (2000)
Honest Mistake (2001)
Beating a Dead Horse EP (2002)
You had me at "Another Beer" (2004)
Fish Taco (2005)
Quiche and Crabcakes (2005)
The White Chocolate (2006)
Putting the Kris back in Christmas EP (2006)
Sugarballs (2007)
The Day the Laughter Died Part III (2007)
Obligatory Photo of Kris as a Child (2008)
Kris Earle | İlgi Alanları
Genel
Comedy, beer, food, movies, sex, comic books, naptime... usually in that order or any combination, usually at night.
Müzik
Listen to Kris Earle's radio show ev Tuesday night from 5-6pm on WMFO Medford, MA 91.5FM - or listen live on itunes/mediaplayer on wmfo.org - OR - download the show you lazy ass!
Here's some stuff I like because I'm old and apathetic.
University Of Massachusetts-Amherst
Amherst, MA
Mezun Olduğu Okul: 1993
Öğrenci durumu: Eski Mezunlar
Derece: Bachelor's Degree
Ana dal: Communications/Film Studies
Ek dal: Comparitive Literature
Kulüpler: Collegian Staff - Editorial Writer, Arts and Entertainment Writer, "Under 21" comic strip writer and illustrator
Yunanlı:
Alpha Epsilon Pi
1989 - 1993
Tewksbury Memorial High
Tewksbury,Massachusetts
Mezun Olduğu Okul: 1989
Öğrenci durumu: Eski Mezunlar
Derece: Ph.D.
Kulüpler: Chess, Latin, Cross Country Track, Some other crapola that also didn't mean a damn thing.
Hakkımda: Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Standup comic from Boston. Likes movies about sharks.
..
Kimle tanışmak isterim: More comics. Alan Funt. Someone with a large bag of money and a case of beer that says "this is for you."
You have many properties. I'm not sure you wouldn't be a shitty landlord, though. You're workin in Providence soon? Gook work if you can get it! That seemed like the proper cliche there.
How did your set go? Did you give it all you add? Did you have the theme from Fame running through your head? Are you gonna live forever? I had an interesting conversation at San Grias about that gay wino Jesus who had himself stapled to a giant dick, not that I'm judging him or anything. Anyway, good luck in Provy. I hear the mafia wants a white boy with sandals, shorts and a camouflage bow tie. You're their man. Are we still gonna super glue a urinal to Strom Thurman's grave? That's what the Junkyard Dog would have wanted. Tell the mayor I said 'high(er).' -SRA
You still alive? You sure? That's okay. I'm in school now, because Jesus lied to me about the end of the world and shit. Apparently there was a reason to set myself up with bigger paychecks. Never trust a wino. You need any wine? Talk to you soon. Let me know when you feel like killing off another bar by giving Barry Ace a stage to perform on... wait, sorry, that was me. Carry on.
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
Anger, dammit, we HAD that. Wow, am I pissed . . .
You still alive? It's okay if you are. Talk to you later. Let me know if you want to drive down to Georgia and super-glue one of those ultra lightweight urinals to any monument dedicated to a dead klan member. I'll buy the cake.
