I'm a rather broad scope of contradictory things, which are best expressed through words that make me sound as if I have something grandiose to prove. Some say I flow like quicksilver, but others say I am as viscous as the dirtiest crude oil. I prefer to listen to neither of those parties, as parties often suffer from group delusion. I am anomalous, abrasive, cunning, confusing, clever, convoluted, caustic, dauntless, esoteric, eloquent, edible, eclectic, electric, facetious, humorous, incomparable, indefatigable, incredible, insightful, lucid, lurid, magnificent, peerless, priceless, phenomenal, poetic, precise, phantasmagorical, pallid, paramount, paranoid, rational, rhythmic, spectacular, sardonic, satirical, ubiquitous, unconventional, vociferous, verbose, and most of all, understated.
I'm not nearly as pretentious as I sound. In fact, I think I'm both approachable and interesting. Feel free to come in, take off your shoes, put your coat on the rack, and sit fireside with me.
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