Shaggy

About me:

What am I?

I am a single sound in a wave of silence. I am a laugh in darkness. I am broken wings and the silver phoenix, black fire in the chill of night.

I am the Song, the Beat, and the Harpist, on the shattered note reflecting...

Ok, so enough of the emo. About me... well, first things first. I'm Richard. You might know me as Shaggy, or even That Dude With the Hair. I answer to all that, plus some stuff that I probably shouldn't write here. Mustn't corrupt the children, you know.

Now, just to spice things up, let's engage in a metaphor. Imagine, for a moment, that I am a book. Ignore the fact that I'm obviously not a book, since books don't have legs and usually can't type. When it comes to metaphors, blatantly obvious errors are all beside the point.

The cover of our metaphorical book is vaguely human-shaped, slender, and a shade under six feet tall. He (for, while we're at it, let's give this little book a gender) has long brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a vaguely Native American look to him- which is interesting, because our book's ancestors hail from Japan, Germany, Britain, and the Germanic region of Europe.

It's a common myth that there's some elf in him. Being reminded of this makes our poor little book twitch.

And now, let us open the book... All right, screw the metaphor, too. I'm a generally outgoing type of person who doesn't hold much truck with convention. I looked at the fork in the road- There was the common path, and the path less traveled. I grabbed a machete and charged into the brush, making a trail all my own.

This approach to life resulted in my being quite an interesting sort- I've been described as a great guy, an incorrigible flirt, a gentleman, a jerk, a tactful pervert, and everything in between. I'm that strange sort of person who can gently infuriate you and crack you up at the same time. Or so they tell me.

I do not, contrary to popular belief, have a birthday. I was discovered by an explorer, who found me under a large rock somewhere in the California badlands. Since he was very lost and looking for food at the time, this resulted in a fierce but very brief scuffle, which I won. I had all my teeth in, you see.