Nuthin' in the world Rockie Bee like more than re-writing his biography; so here come the new one.
Rockie Bee's musical career peaked as soon as it started, pretty much. Last time I had my name on a marquee was the first show I ever done -- Razzberry's in St. Inigoes, MD, back in '95. Got my name on one of those arrow-shaped signs like you used to see outside used car lots. Made me grateful I changed my name from the milquetoast Gaspar Brighton-Whyche to the more, in a word, HEROIC 'Footwashin' Rock Baker.'
Washed up in Baltimore '95, did the 'joining bands thing,' which is a career path which works well and wisely for some, but not the Fearless Fightin' Footwasher. Struck out on my lonesome in '96. I sort of overestimated my 'talent'; my ass wound up on a bus bound for Nowheresville, with extended stops in the humble burgs of Poverty, Shame, and Wormwood.
Nevertheless, I tarried on and wound up in an enchanted town stuck between two hills. I was treated like a king and put to work like a strapping stable boy. It kind of went to my head and I did what any sensible fellow would do under charmed and otherworldly circumstances: I went full-blown degenerate.
Familial misfortune brought me home in '01, and I found out NO ONE in Mega-City One is as impressed with my singing and guitar-playing as I am, except mebbe some of them Dutchie types up Quaker State way. But take my word for it; I am a bad-ass mother f*cker. I most certainly am.
I had quite the solo career for a while, but I screwed that up. I cleaned up my act and tried to stick it out a while longer, but Jeebus, music paydays are shit-ass compared to what you can get fixing up other folk's broken and poorly-made homes. I swear, I hung on as long as I could, but f*ck, Jack, you think I'm gonna dick around for four hours for twenty bucks when I can get twice that in half the time undoing some Harry Homeowner's tomfoolery? That's crazy talk.
Lemme see; I joined and got fired from my favorite band on the same night. I've wasted more time practicing dumb shit that SOMEONE ELSE should get straight than any gang of hapless a-holes -- that's most of the band experiences I've had in since my return from exile in the Cursed Earth. And I generally tear the ass out of any stage I play, but sadly, as I've learned, the dudes that book music wouldn't be caught dead hanging out in their own clubs. So I might as well have just stayed home.
Nevertheless, I'm on a mission to be a real hot dog and ham it up for any ol' group of good-timers, time-wasters, and faceless herpetics. I'll play any damn show for forty bucks.
Forty bucks and a chicken sandwich.
The Footwashin’ Rock Baker's Friend Space (Top 40)
I have never laughed so hard at 8 AM at work on the first day back after a weekend. If I tried to share this joke with anyone in the office, they would look at me in a more queer manner than usual. I don't know if I'm more amused with your accurate depiction via action figures or the fact that you bothered to depict Saturday nights events in that manner or both.
well the problem was that the flash was sparking right over my face. the other problem was that i wanted to get the garters in the pic............... and after all....who would be looking at my face anyway?
One of the largest, single day Rock n' Roll parties in the valley's history is going to take place on June 7th at The Crossroads Music Hall, 115 Clinton Ave. E., in downtown Huntsville. "MUSIC 4 MEDS" is the "Concert to Benefit The Community Free Clinic". Doors open at 1:30PM, and music begins at 2:00PM, and will continue nonstop until the wee hours.
A minimum donation of $10.00 is requested.
I imagine we all wish we were wealthy enough to write a huge check to solve the problems that arise, but for most of us, the best we can do is pitch in a little, and try to get the job done. If you can afford to show up on June 7th and donate a few bucks, we promise to play our hearts out for you and make it worth your while.
Plan on coming out and being a part of this celebration. Together we can do a lot to help our community, and have a great time doing it! Hope to see you there!
Thanks so much for your help and support. - Sonny Edwards
