Frankie Boyle
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Latest Blog Entries
- Oct 15, 2009 7:49 AM Extract from My Shit Life So Far
- Oct 2, 2009 2:30 PM Hey - look at this...
- Jul 16, 2009 2:18 PM Frankie's Podcast
- May 4, 2007 9:08 AM www.frankieboyle.com
Top Friends (8)
Music
Blurbs
About me:

I am a semi-professional acrobat and minor priest of Uombumbay The Undying Egg. To fund my vocation I practise stand-up comedy. What I love about my religion is that it offers no hope at all. When Uombumbay finally emerges from his egg, we believe that he will die whilst laying another egg. I have a beautiful daughter and a lot of fun. I read a lot of comic books and have recently, aged 34, made a half hearted attempt to learn to do tricks on my bike. Vive la Revolucion!
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| Tuesday 16th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre | ![]() |
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| Wednesday 17th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre | ![]() |
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| Thursday 18th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre | ![]() |
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| Thursday 18th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre |
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| Friday 19th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre |
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| Saturday 20th March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre |
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| Sunday 21st March 2010 | Glasgow - King's Theatre |
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| Wednesday 24th March 2010 | Dunfermline - Alhambra |
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| Thursday 25th March 2010 | Dunfermline - Alhambra |
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| Friday 26th March 2010 | Dunfermline - Alhambra |
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| Sunday 28th March 2010 | Inverness - Eden Court Theatre |
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| Monday 29th March 2010 | Inverness - Eden Court Theatre |
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| Tuesday 30th March 2010 | Perth - Concert Hall |
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| Saturday 3rd April 2010 | Aberdeen - Music Hall |
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| Sunday 4th April 2010 | Aberdeen - Music Hall |
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| Wednesday 7th April 2010 | Reading - Hexagon |
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| Thursday 8th April 2010 | Plymouth - Pavilions |
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| Friday 9th April 2010 | Plymouth - Pavilions |
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| Saturday 10th April 2010 | Bristol - Colston Hall |
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| Sunday 11th April 2010 | Bristol - Colston Hall |
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| Monday 12th April 2010 | Swansea - Grand Theatre |
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| Wednesday 14th April 2010 | Portsmouth - Guildhall |
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| Thursday 15th April 2010 | Portsmouth - Guildhall |
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| Friday 16th April 2010 | Southend - Cliffs Pavilion |
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| Saturday 17th April 2010 | Brighton - Dome |
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| Sunday 18th April 2010 | Brighton - Dome |
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| Wednesday 21st April 2010 | Birmingham - Symphony Hall |
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| Thursday 22nd April 2010 | Birmingham - Symphony Hall |
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| Friday 23rd April 2010 | Sheffield - City Hall |
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| Saturday 24th April 2010 | Sheffield - City Hall |
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| Sunday 25th April 2010 | Southport - Theatre |
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| Wednesday 28th April 2010 | Reading - Hexagon |
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| Thursday 29th April 2010 | Southend - Cliffs Pavilion |
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| Friday 30th April 2010 | Margate - Winter Gardens |
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| Saturday 1st May 2010 | Bournemouth - BIC |
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| Sunday 2nd May 2010 | Bournemouth - BIC |
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| Wednesday 5th May 2010 | Leicester - De Montfort Hall |
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| Thursday 6th May 2010 | Leicester - De Montfort Hall |
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| Friday 7th May 2010 | Wolverhampton - Civic |
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| Saturday 8th May 2010 | Wolverhampton - Civic |
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| Sunday 9th May 2010 | Wolverhampton - Civic |
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| Wednesday 12th May 2010 | York - Grand Opera House |
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| Thursday 13th May 2010 | York - Grand Opera House |
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| Friday 14th May 2010 | Newcastle - City Hall |
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| Saturday 15th May 2010 | Newcastle - City Hall |
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| Sunday 16th May 2010 | Newcastle - City Hall |
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| Monday 17th May 2010 | Middlesbrough - Town Hall |
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| Tuesday 18th May 2010 | Middlesbrough - Town Hall |
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| Saturday 22nd May 2010 | Belfast - Waterfront Hall |
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| Sunday 23rd May 2010 | Belfast - Waterfront Hall |
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| Tuesday 25th May 2010 | Dublin - Vicar Street | ![]() |
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| Wednesday 26th May 2010 | Dublin - Vicar Street | ![]() |
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| Thursday 27th May 2010 | Dublin - Vicar Street | 0818 719 390 | ||
| Friday 28th May 2010 | Dublin - Vicar Street | 0818 719 390 | ||
| Saturday 29th May 2010 | Dublin - Vicar Street | 0818 719 390 | ||
| Thursday 3rd June 2010 | London - Hammersmith Apollo | ![]() |
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| Friday 4th June 2010 | DVD Recording - H'smith Apollo | ![]() |
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| Saturday 5th June 2010 | DVD Recording - H'smith Apollo | ![]() |
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| Thursday 30th September 2010 | Edinburgh - Festival Theatre |
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| Friday 1st October 2010 | Edinburgh - Festival Theatre |
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| Saturday 2nd October 2010 | Edinburgh - Festival Theatre |
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| Sunday 3rd October 2010 | Edinburgh - Festival Theatre | ![]() |
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| Tuesday 5th October 2010 | Oxford - New Theatre | ![]() |
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| Wednesday 6th October 2010 | Oxford - New Theatre | ![]() |
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| Thursday 7th October 2010 | Oxford - New Theatre |
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| Friday 8th October 2010 | Ipswich - Regent Theatre |
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| Saturday 9th October 2010 | Ipswich - Regent Theatre | 01473 433 100 | ||
| Monday 11th October 2010 | Brighton - Dome | 01273 709 709 | ||
| Tuesday 12th October 2010 | Brighton - Dome | 01273 709 709 | ||
| Thursday 14th October 2010 | Nottingham - Royal Concert Hall |
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| Friday 15th October 2010 | Grimsby - Auditorium | ![]() |
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| Saturday 16th October 2010 | Wolverhampton - Civic | ![]() |
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| Sunday 17th October 2010 | Wolverhampton - Civic | ![]() |
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| Monday 18th October 2010 | Coventry - Warwick Arts Centre | ![]() |
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| Tuesday 19th October 2010 | Northampton - Royal & Derngate | ![]() |
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| Wednesday 20th October 2010 | Northampton - Royal & Derngate | ![]() |
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| Saturday 23rd October 2010 | Liverpool - Philharmonic | ![]() |
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| Sunday 24th October 2010 | Liverpool - Philharmonic |
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| Monday 25th October 2010 | Manchester - Apollo | ![]() |
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| Tuesday 26th October 2010 | Manchester - Apollo |
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| Wednesday 27th October 2010 | Manchester - Apollo |
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| Thursday 28th October 2010 | Manchester - Apollo |
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| Saturday 30th October 2010 | Cardiff - St David's Hall |
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| Sunday 31st October 2010 | Cardiff - St David's Hall |
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| Monday 1st November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo | 08448 444 748 | ||
| Tuesday 2nd November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo | 08448 444 748 | ||
| Wednesday 3rd November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo | ![]() |
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| Thursday 4th November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo |
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| Friday 5th November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo |
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| Saturday 6th November 2010 | London - HMV Hammersmith Apollo |
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| Sunday 7th November 2010 | Hastings - White Rock Theatre | ![]() |
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| Tuesday 16th November 2010 | Carlisle - Sands Centre | ![]() |
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| Wednesday 17th November 2010 | Preston - Guildhall | 0845 344 2012 | ||
| Thursday 18th November 2010 | Preston - Guildhall |
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| Friday 19th November 2010 | Blackburn - King George's Hall |
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| Saturday 20th November 2010 | Bradford - St George's Hall | ![]() |
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| Sunday 21st November 2010 | Halifax - Victoria Theatre |
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| Monday 22nd November 2010 | Blackburn - King George's Hall | ![]() |
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| Friday 26th November 2010 | Glasgow - SECC |
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| Saturday 27th November 2010 | Glasgow - SECC |
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Glasgow - SECC | ![]() |
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| Monday 29th November 2010 | Glasgow - SECC | 0844 395 4000![]() |
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Who I'd like to meet:
I'd love to go on a series of adventures through Modern European History. Perhaps travelling through some kind of Time Door, with a teenage sidekick, or a cavewoman. I would travel along the Timepaths averting wars and catastrophe, then eventually return to my own time. Where my meddling would mean that Britain was ruled by worms.
My friend Thomas Duffy and I both joined the Cubs, which we loved. I think we’d exaggerated the subs to our folks so we could buy Slush Puppies on the way home. Our parents never caught on, even though we’d always come back with bright blue or purple mouths and crippling headaches. The Cubs was run by a lovely lady who lived round the corner from us. I don’t think she knew a single thing about the Cubs or the Scouting movement; she just started it up in the church hall to give us something to do. There were none of the awkward formal greetings and knot tying of the proper Cubs. If you wanted a badge you just told her and she’d set you a totally arbitrary task. I got my sports badge for running round the hall. There was a great fancy-dress competition every Halloween. Once I went as the Hulk – painted from head to foot in watercolours that dried on me in such a way that I seemed to be walking around in a huge scab. Thomas, quite brilliantly, painted an enormous cardboard box and went as an Oxo cube. He made his dad walk us up to the hall as he had a real paranoia that a passing lunatic might set fire to him.
The Cub leader’s brother would come to the meetings a lot to help out; he was maybe in his twenties. The last 20 minutes of most meetings involved him tying an enormous running shoe to a big bit of rope and making us jump as he swung it round faster and faster. Who knows what was going on in this guy’s life that he’d turn up every week to blast wee boys into the side of a public building with an enormous shoe, but we were really glad that he did. I even won one week! I was encouraged to stage a high jump competition at some railings near our house, hurting my balls quite badly.
Our outfit or unit or whatever (not having been in the proper Cubs, who knows what the term is) went to a real Scout camp once and it was absolute chaos. There’s always been something suspect about Scoutmasters to me. Middle-aged men taking young boys into the woods to practise tying knots is clearly not good. If you’re going to get felt up in a tent by the Scoutmaster then the very least you should get is a badge that you can use to cover the hole in the back of your shorts.
There was also some weird sectarian thing going on with the guy who was leading the trip. I was too young to decode what was going on but when the kids started singing ‘Flower of Scotland’ on the bus he went absolutely tonto, making the driver pull into a lay-by and giving a truly crazy, bulging-eyed speech about the Queen. That’s a real thing with sectarians – they always assume that people are interested in the shite they talk. He was literally foaming at the mouth about the Act of Union, in front of a bunch of 9 year olds who were thinking about when they might get a hotdog. Of course one must avoid generalisations but that man was definitely a paedophile.
At camp, we were no more prepared to set up tents and light fires than a tribe of monkeys. In fact, one of our guys (a real wingnut who seemed much too tall and old to be a Cub) immediately climbed a tree and started screaming like a monkey, breaking off branches and throwing them into the camp. Another got off the bus and just ran straight down towards the river bank, crashing straight into the river. The real Scouts looked shell-shocked as the monkey guy leapt down from the tree and tried to engage them in swordfights with an enormous stick. Clearly, all pretence of being a real outfit, unit or possibly troop had been blown.
The Scouts sent an observer to one of our meetings. I missed it but apparently he stood around slack-jawed watching boys get pelted into stacks of chairs with a big training shoe. We were all made to attend a real Cubs meet in a better part of town. The Cubs had to line up and do a little salute at the start! The leader was called Arkela! The gymnastics badge didn’t simply require jumping two-footed over a chair! Their leader called out a boy to give a mad little speech about the history of Scouting. He had an enormous gumboil, easily half the size of his face, and spoke in a wet mumble like The Elephant Man Jr. The meetings must have been bad because our Cubs got shut down and there was fuck all to do again.
Details
- Status: In a Relationship
- Here for: Networking, Friends
- Hometown: Glasgow.
- Body type: Average
- Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
- Zodiac Sign: Leo
- Children: Proud parent
- Occupation: Comedian
Schools
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Holyrood Secondary School
- Crosshill, United Kingdom
- Graduated: N/A
1951 to Present
Companies
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Chambers Management
- Barbican, London UK
- These are my agents











helenofthestoneage. 3 years ago
John Keenan 3 years ago
Duncan 3 years ago
Stephen Hawker 3 years ago
Mizaria 3 years ago
3 Colours Beige 3 years ago
Ross Kobak 3 years ago
Ross Kobak 3 years ago
Calaveras 3 years ago
Plek 3 years ago
10 of 3245MoreYou were fantastic in Leicester :)
Thanks for accepting my add request Frankie hope you enjoyed the songs;-)
Ya mad bastard!
Have a great week!
J;-)
Just read "A Letter From Frankie Boyle", thanks for that. It finished with "Please do not reply to this email". Sorry, I have to, somehow.
For a Pro human site and readings. Get involved:)
http://www.realityinfo.org
http://www.realityinfo.org/news/?p=165
http://www.realityinfo.org/forum/topic.php?id=17
You and your team have a voice. MAKE it happen. We'll ALL be there :)
Peace,
Dunk
Fae yir hame toon.
Hi, will there be any plans for new dates to be added to the tour i.e leicester or Nottingham because really want to come see you live & watch you take the piss out of everybody& everything, lol
Hey! Finding active people on myspace these days is so difficult! But as friends of ours already on myspace, just thought we'd keep you up to date on happenings with the band.
We've just uploaded 2 new tracks this week called "I'm Stressed Out" and "Dancefloor". Let us know what you think :)
x Neeraj (drums)
Yes, I would consider myself a romantic. Absolutely. But then, what kind of girl doesn’t enjoy the feel of a stranger’s coarse, sweaty hand rummaging around violently under your skirt...in a Croydon car-park...
I think I spoke too soon on my 2nd to last comment :P
That'll teach you to take the piss out of Mongoloids, you Mongoloid lol. As your previous comment off Plek says the parents must have known what your act entailed. Kinda makes you wonder who the kid got their brains off XD
Oh well. As they say, even bad publicity is good publicity :P
http://www.myspace.com/calaverassongsthatmocktherichandthepowerful
Heya just to say was not impressed with the woman who complained about your act re a certain thing in England. You were spot on, she knew what kind of act she was going to see... I cannae be arsed with these people. You are a comedy act end of. Enjoy the tour, pity I never got tickets and I only stay 10 minutes from you and your misses .... grrr ^^