If you can catch me when I'm not hungry for mac and cheese or thinking about monsters eating your brain, you're a lucky person. Buy a lottery ticket.
Music
I had a dream that Carmen Electra recorded an insane metal album with Today is the Day as her back up band. It was released by Relapse records and it was the best thing I had ever heard. Unfortunately, it isn't real.
Movies
Killer Tongue, Videodrome, Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Django, Trancers, Toxic Avenger, Star Wars, King Kong, Frankenhooker, Street Trash, Susperia, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Cyborg 2
Jess Franco, David Cronenberg, Asia Argento, Dario Argento, George Romero, Charles Band, Lloyd Kaufman
University Of Wisconsin-Eau Claire
Eau Claire, WI
Graduated: 2000
Student status: Alumni
Major: Building vomit icicles and using them to stab out your eyes.
Minor: Baking apple pies with urine in them.
Clubs: Building houses out of rhinos and making you sleep in them without a night light bastard face.
1996 to 2000
North Hi
Eau Claire, WI
Graduated: 1996
Student status: Alumni
Major: Forming arrows out of poop and shooting them at your face.
Minor: Shoes like grease.
Clubs: Death and Dismemberment. Barfing. Jazz band.
1992 to 1996
Freak Tension's Companies
Freak Tension Inc. Minneapolis, MN US Foreman Knife stealing
Forever
Freak Tension is in your backyard. Posted at 11:51 PM Apr 20 view more
About me: My name is MP Johnson. You can call me Matt. I write bizarre stories about monsters and weirdos. My stuff has been published in a bunch of underground horror magazines, like Cthulhu Sex, Black Petals and Bare Bone.
I've played some bit parts in B-movies, including a role as a drug dealer who gets shot in the stomach by legendary action hero Rudy Ray Moore in “It Came from Trafalgar.”
I'm the creator of Freak Tension fanzine, which focuses on punk rock and things that eat brains. The zine only comes out at random intervals, but you can check out my music reviews more frequently in Razorcake magazine:
The site also contains a full list of my published short stories, a cover gallery of all issues of Freak Tension and some other fun stuff.
Who I'd like to meet: The man with an ax and a partially burned face. I know he will be waiting in the back seat of my car one day. I check almost every time I climb in, but it's not 100%. The one time I don't look first, I'm going to end up driving off the road because I'm trying to stop my head from rolling into the passenger seat.
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