Music
Bicylce
Swimming
Reading
Hiking
Vagabonding
Cooking
Learning
Writing
conversation
Music
Aloha
Beirut
Maps&Atlases
City and Colour
Gregor Samsa
Grizzly Bear
Mogwai
The Album Leaf
31 Knots
Gaza
Jument
Black Sheep Wall
The Cancer Conspiracy
Johanna Newsom
Braveyoung
SuperMachiner
God Machine
Jesu
godflesh
Coalesce
Final
The Dead See
the Crinn
Kayo Dot
Movies
Dead Man
Primer
Sunshine
Into The Wild
Let There Be Blood
Catching Out
Oliver!
Dancer In The Dark
Television
Damn you Bear Grylls.
Books
Bukowski
Henry Miller
Ezra Pound
T.S. Eliot
Gary Snyder
Lorca
Rimbaud
Jack Kerouac
Allen Ginsberg
James Michener
Heideggar
Anthony Burgess
David Foster Wallace
Al Burian
Albert Camus
Gide
Michel Foucault
H.P. Lovecraft
Thus Spoke Zathustra
"most wretched men are cradled into poetry by wrong, they learn in suffering what they teach in song"
-Percy Shelley
"I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music."
--George Eliot
Who I'd like to meet: "Indigo sky swept clear of fleecy clouds, gaunt trees infinitely extended, their black boughs gesticulating like a sleepwalker. somber, spectral trees, their trunks pale as cigar ash. a silence supreme and altogether European. Shutters drawn, shops barred. a red glow here and there to mark a tryst. brusque the facades, almost forbidding; immaculate except for the splotches of shadow cast by the trees. passing by the Orangerie i am reminded of another Paris, the Paris of Maugham, of Gauguin, Paris of George Moore. I think of that terrible Spaniard who was then startling the world with his acrobatic leaps from style to style. i think of Spengler and of his terrible pronunciamentos, and i wonder if style, style in the grand manner, is done for. i say that my mind is occupied with these thoughts, but it is not true; it is only later after i have crossed the Siene, after i have put behind me the carnival of lights, that i allow my mind to play with these ideas. for the moment i can think of nothing-Except that i am a sentient being stabbed by the miravle of these waters that reflect a forgotten world. all along the river banks the trees lean heavily over the tarnished mirror; when the wind rises and fills them with a rustling murmur they willl shed a few tears and shiver as the water swirls by. I AM SUFFOCATED BY IT> NO ONE TO WHOM I CAN COMMUNICATE EVEN A FRACTION OF MY FEELINGS..."
--HENRY MILLER
"I know myself too well to believe in pure virtue."
"Play."
"The Terror."
"A Nihilist!"
"Violence everywhere, Everywhere Falsehood."
"Destroy, destroy!"
"A Realist."
"He must get into the Okhrana."
"Between the two, Kaliayev."
--'No, Boris, no.'
-'Ilove them'
-'why do you say that in such a terrible way?'
-'Because My Love Is Terrible'
"Whatever does not kill you strengthens you."
'Yes, but...'
"And how painful it is to dream of happiness. The crushing weight of it all. Better to say nothing and pay attention to everything else."
A dilemma, Gide says, between morality and sicerity. And Again: 'the only beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.'
I must break with everything. If there is no desert at hand there is always the plague or Tolstoy's little railway station
Goethe: 'I felt myself God enough to descend to the daughters of men'
There are no great crimes of which an intelligent man does not feel capable. According to Gide, great minds do not give in to this, because they would limit themselves by so doing.
"The Frenchman has preserved the habit and traditions of revolution. The only thing he lacks is guts: he has become civil servant, philistine, midinette. It was a stroke of genius to make of him a legal Revolutionary. He indulges in plotting with official approval. He reshapes a world without stirring from his easy chair."
--Albert Camus Journals:42-51 in January of 42
it sort of turned me into a finish all my incomplete projects because it's rainy outside mood, and i divulged into that for far too long. sort of shut myself out a bit too. i'm sorry man!
my right knee was run over by a car when i was 10, my left knee was crushed in a bike wreck, it was the first thing to hit the ground, and my left hip had a staph infection in the joint. had surgery on it and they told me it would always give me discomfort and sometimes pain for the rest of my life... that was freshman year and it still hurts. all the bmx'ing i used to do and failed to do (wrecking a lot) is causing me issues now.
Maybe ill just call it good on the schooling. i don't feel there is anything in the world that I have an interest in, at least nothing sustainable. Though, I have terribly weak hips and knees ken, I may not be able to make it very far
my sister and her boyfriends sister were going to drive her moms Escalade to Sacramento and Folsom, CA for a rodeo and so that girl could see her dad, and i volunteered as a chaperone (only as a joke) and BOOM! here i am! driving a brand new Cadillac Escalade all over haha AWESOME! ken, i cant even begin to describe how amazing and luxurious these vehicles are...oh wait, yes i can; AIR CONDITIONED SEATS...cold air you can control comes out of the leather seats to keep your back and butt from getting sweaty...holy shit, right?!?!
i was at neurolux...i was like wtf...ken? he was sitting on the rail on the patio and wearing a shoulder bag and then he turned i was like, nope! oh everyone see's me driving, singing and looking ridiculous.
so i had my logic class today. turns out, it IS symbolic logic, aka FUCKING MATH SHIT. oh well. though it isnt our textbook, I know he uses that logic book you 'gave' me. he used one of Quine's examples from the very first few pages. ive been reading nieztche too. im taking notes as i read "the antichrist" so i can get a better understanding of it. i feel so out of condition, and i am.
im in boise tomorrow at 8am. ill be there until sunday at 6am. if you dont call me, i will find a way to slice your nuts off. got it? lets go somewhere where i can hear you play.
Ken I'm coming down on the 19th for killwhitneydead, then coming back to start school the 22nd. I've been thinking what bike ill get, I've got a good idea in my head.
Here, the logic class is a 100 level. I wish I hadn't given up on that ethics class I took at bsu. Hell, I wish I had been ready when I started there, because I'd almost be done by now. Fuck it though. If I hadn't moved here, my eyes never wouldve been opened by a certain someone. I have a good job that I will stick to. It will pay the bills until I'm ready to write. If this project of ours proves its worth, which, I don't know why we've never been in an actual band together, I think you should move up here. The scene stretches from Vancouver Canada to Vancouver Washington, which is close enough to be Portland. I need to see a crowd from one stage, at some point in my life.
