Music
Bicylce
Swimming
Reading
Hiking
Vagabonding
Cooking
Learning
Writing
conversation
Music
fuck yes:
Aloha
Beirut
Maps&Atlases
City and Colour
Batman vs. Predator
Russian Circles
Red Sparrows
Gregor Samsa
Shelter Red
palmreader
Deerhoof
Rodrigo y gabrielle
Twain Harte
Everlovely Lightningheart
The Decca Sequence
The Cancer Conspiracy
Q.
Facing New York
Friendly Bears
Mare
Harlots
Giant
Parallax
Cursed
Converge
Meshugga
Jimmy Eat World
Shonberg
Apex Twin
Xiu xiju
Fuck Buttons
Super machiner
Sikth
Capsule
Tides
North
Tusk
Coalesce
Canvas Solaris
Scale the Summit
Electro Quarterstaff
This Runs Through
Animosity
Pelican
Jesu
Kayo Dot
31 Knots
JUMENT
Gojira
Into the Moat
Gaza
psyopus
Car Bomb
Black Horizons
Sunno)))
Apex Theory
GlassJaw
ISIS
The Sleeping
ATTN
Magic Lantern
Torche
Saxon Shore
BlacksheepWall
Movies
Dead Man
The Fifth Element
The Constant Gardener
City of God
High Fidelity
Stir Crazy
The Rear Window
planet earth
the fountain
The Empire Strikes Back
Pollack
Basic Instinct
Amelie
Darjeeling Limited
No country for old men
Let There be blood
Television
folded paper
Books
Infinite Jest
Picture of Dorian Grey
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
Homage To Catalonia
Enough
Forty Stories by Donald Barthelme
The Road
Veils
Arsonists Guide to Writers Homes In New England
The Idiot
The Gulag Archipilago
Doors of Perception
Art of Seeing
Better OFF
Portnoy's Complaint
The Air-conditioned Night Mare
De La Mare
House Of Leaves
The Burn Collector
The pit and the pendelum
Letters from the Underworld
The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath)
Anna karenina(Tolstoy)
Tremor of Intent(burgess)
Neverwhere
Caravans(michener)
The Source
Alaska
into the wild
you can't win(Black0
Tropic of Cancer(Miller)
Animal Farm
1984
Face (Cecille Pineda)
Germ
Things i overheard while talking to myself (alan alda)
The Wasteland
The Devine Comedy
Inferno
A Dead Man in Debtford
A Tale of Two Cities
The politix of the family
Knots.
Deconstruction (Derrida)
panopticon (Foucault)
consultations of the cave (Zizek)
the Bicameral mind.
War and Peace
(Francis Bacon)
of human bondage
the razors edge
among the thugs
that hideous strength
catcher in the rye
to kill a mockingbird
in cold blood
ishamael
the glass bead game
"most wretched men are cradled into poetry by wrong, they learn in suffering what they teach in song"
-Percy Shelley
"I only believe in fire. Life. Fire. Being myself on fire I set others on fire. Never death. Fire and life. Les Jeux."
--Anais Nin
"...prepared in innocence to meet our king of glory
and so we have this
you have it in your secret windows
and you're understanding to understand it and to bring it forth
it takes minute detail
it takes a holy life
it takes emotions
it takes dedication
it takes dedication
it takes a death
and only god can allow it
and you couldn't do it if you're not the seed of god
and so the path through the great corridors
these are corridors unto his perfection
that is which the prophet and the oarman summoned has penetrated
that through this great sea of blackness
that i penetrated through these corridors
and i went through that last segment
where i went through these dark serpentines
i passed through that corridor
where they sat
where they are
and when you penetrate to the most high god
you will believe you are mad
you will believe you've gone insane
but i tell you if you follow the secret window
and you die to the ego nature
you will penetrate this darkness
oh yes there's many a man or woman
that's been put in the insane asylum
when this has happened to them
and they're sitting there today, people think they're insane
but they saw something that's real
and they see it when they're on drugs
the only thing is they see it
not through the light of god, and the way i show you
i show you to see it through the light of god
and the understanding of god
because when you see the face of god you will die
and there will be nothing left of you
except the god-man, the god-woman
the heavenly man, the heavenly woman
the heavenly child
there will be terror under this day of night
there will be a song of jubilee waiting for your king
there will be nothing you will be looking for in this world
except for your god
this is all a dream
a dream in death
and so i went through that window
and the tower of hell and the great serpentines of the highest order
and i went through that when i showed you chart #3
the question is asked and learned and someone who.... "
--Godspeed! You Black Emperor
"'let there be light!' said God and there was light. 'let there be blood,' said man, and there was a sea."
--lord Byron, Don Juan
'In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine."
--George Bernard Shaw
"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die."
--G.K. Chesterton
"It is required of every man," the ghost returned, "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide; and, if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death."
--Charles Dickens
"Then must you strive to be worthy of her love. Be brave and pure, fearless to the strong and humble to the weak; and so, whether this love prosper or no, you will have fitted yourself to be honored by a maiden's love, which is, in sooth, the highest guerdon which a true knight can hope for."
--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
"Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love . . ."
George Eliot
"I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music."
--George Eliot
Who I'd like to meet: "Indigo sky swept clear of fleecy clouds, gaunt trees infinitely extended, their black boughs gesticulating like a sleepwalker. somber, spectral trees, their trunks pale as cigar ash. a silence supreme and altogether European. Shutters drawn, shops barred. a red glow here and there to mark a tryst. brusque the facades, almost forbidding; immaculate except for the splotches of shadow cast by the trees. passing by the Orangerie i am reminded of another Paris, the Paris of Maugham, of Gauguin, Paris of George Moore. I think of that terrible Spaniard who was then startling the world with his acrobatic leaps from style to style. i think of Spengler and of his terrible pronunciamentos, and i wonder if style, style in the grand manner, is done for. i say that my mind is occupied with these thoughts, but it is not true; it is obnly later after i have crossed the Siene, after i have put behind me the carnival of lights, that i allow my mind to play with these ideas. for the moment i can think of nothing-Except that i am a sentient being stabbed by the miravle of these waters that reflect a forgotten world. all along the river banks the trees lean heavily over the tarnished mirror; when the wind rises and fills them with a rustling murmur they willl shed a few tears and shiver as the water swirls by. I AM SUFFOCATED BY IT> NO ONE TO WHOM I CAN COMMUNICATE EVEN A FRACTION OF MY FEELINGS..."
--HENRY MILLER
"I know myself too well to believe in pure virtue.
Play. the Terror. a Nihilist. Violence everywhere, Everywhere Falsehood.
Destroy, destroy.
A Realist. He must get into the Okhrana.
Between the two, Kaliayev.--No, Boris, no.
'Ilove them'
'why do you say that in such a terrible way?'
'Because My Love Is Terrible'"
-Albert Camus, from 'journals: '42-'51' Notebook V in Sept. 45
"'Whatever does not kill me strengthens me.' Yes, but...
And how painful it is to dream of happiness. The crushing weight of it all. Better to say nothing and pay attention to everything else.
A dilemma, Gide says, between morality and sicerity. And Again: 'the only beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.'
I must break with everything. If there is no desert at hand there is always the plague or Tolstoy's little railway station
Goethe: 'I felt myself God enough to descend to the daughters of men'
There are no great crimes of which an intelligent man does not feel capable. According to Gide, great minds do not give in to this, because they would limit themselves by so doing.
The Frenchman has preserved the habit and traditions of revolution. The only thing he lacks is guts: he has become civil servant, philistine, midinette. It was a stroke of genius to make of him a legal Revolutionary. He indulges in plotting with official approval. He reshapes a world without stirring from his easy chair."
--Albert Camus Journals:42-51 in January of 42
my right knee was run over by a car when i was 10, my left knee was crushed in a bike wreck, it was the first thing to hit the ground, and my left hip had a staph infection in the joint. had surgery on it and they told me it would always give me discomfort and sometimes pain for the rest of my life... that was freshman year and it still hurts. all the bmx'ing i used to do and failed to do (wrecking a lot) is causing me issues now.
Maybe ill just call it good on the schooling. i don't feel there is anything in the world that I have an interest in, at least nothing sustainable. Though, I have terribly weak hips and knees ken, I may not be able to make it very far
my sister and her boyfriends sister were going to drive her moms Escalade to Sacramento and Folsom, CA for a rodeo and so that girl could see her dad, and i volunteered as a chaperone (only as a joke) and BOOM! here i am! driving a brand new Cadillac Escalade all over haha AWESOME! ken, i cant even begin to describe how amazing and luxurious these vehicles are...oh wait, yes i can; AIR CONDITIONED SEATS...cold air you can control comes out of the leather seats to keep your back and butt from getting sweaty...holy shit, right?!?!
i was at neurolux...i was like wtf...ken? he was sitting on the rail on the patio and wearing a shoulder bag and then he turned i was like, nope! oh everyone see's me driving, singing and looking ridiculous.
so i had my logic class today. turns out, it IS symbolic logic, aka FUCKING MATH SHIT. oh well. though it isnt our textbook, I know he uses that logic book you 'gave' me. he used one of Quine's examples from the very first few pages. ive been reading nieztche too. im taking notes as i read "the antichrist" so i can get a better understanding of it. i feel so out of condition, and i am.
im in boise tomorrow at 8am. ill be there until sunday at 6am. if you dont call me, i will find a way to slice your nuts off. got it? lets go somewhere where i can hear you play.
Unfortunately, the philosophy meetings sort of died out. We don't
really do that anymore. I think we're looking for a new place to do
them and we're going to try to structure the group a bit better. Pretty much all the meetings were degenerating into chaos pretty fast. Also, I wish my real name was Hogarth or something. Then I wouldn't need a nickname.
Ken I'm coming down on the 19th for killwhitneydead, then coming back to start school the 22nd. I've been thinking what bike ill get, I've got a good idea in my head.
Here, the logic class is a 100 level. I wish I hadn't given up on that ethics class I took at bsu. Hell, I wish I had been ready when I started there, because I'd almost be done by now. Fuck it though. If I hadn't moved here, my eyes never wouldve been opened by a certain someone. I have a good job that I will stick to. It will pay the bills until I'm ready to write. If this project of ours proves its worth, which, I don't know why we've never been in an actual band together, I think you should move up here. The scene stretches from Vancouver Canada to Vancouver Washington, which is close enough to be Portland. I need to see a crowd from one stage, at some point in my life.
All in due time, monsignor. Cigarettes are drying out my throat, allergies cluttering up behind my face every liquid in my body. Fuck shit. I'm gonna look for bicycles.
Ill call and let her know. Summer is nothing when you're all alone. But school will begin soon. First class is philosophy of logic. And sociology. Send tracks before I die. I just bought an SM58 that I wanna use.
sorry man i wasnt able to answer cuz i was at a friends. just let me know when you wanna pick that shit up, my mom is always fucking there, drunk as an irishman.
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