| Heroes | 
Motherly Corner<3
"Say 'I Approve of your Motherly Corner' so I can quote you on myspace."-Gab
"Your motherly corner I apporove"-Mom
ADVICE OF THE WEEK;
"Everyone has more than one soul mate."-tasha
"I don't have one."-me
"Of course, you don't have a soul, how could you have a soul mate."-mom
advice of the past;
"I won't drive, I'll just ride a bicycle my whole life."-me
"That's great! You'll have sexy legs!"-mom
"Can I have pound cake?"-me
"Why? So you can gain another pound?"-mom
"Say something"-mom
"what?"-me
"anything, you're too quiet"-mom
"i dont have anything to say"-me
"no jokes or anything?"-mom
"no"-me
"ok then i'll tell you a joke"-mom
*silence*
"well..."-me
"is it ok if i tell you a joke about orgasming?"-mom
"sure..."me
"ok so 'mary' says to 'john' 'remember when i had that orgasm 20 years ago? well it wasn't an orgasm it was asthma'"-mom
"is that it?"-me
"yes! hahahah! you're dad told me that one!"-mom
texting convo
"I got a 93 on my math test!!!"-me
"Ok. Im very happy"-mom
"I was close to a 100!"-me
"Its because u was nice to me karma ."-mom
"Sure."-me
"i know u can do it cus i know u have a brain."-mom
"Your father cried when beyonce sang,"-mom
"do you guys watch the superbowl?"-me
"yeah."-parents..
"we'll crash your party. we'll fit in with your crowd."-mom
"no you won't."-me
"yeah. i'll be a hippie wear converse and do the peace sign."-dad
"that's the 70s"-me
"you wear converse now"-mom
"i'll wear the converse and tattoo russia on this arm and ukraine on this one and 1-9-5-3 on my fingers *holds out fist*"-dad
"don't worry, we're hip."-mom
"wtf"-me
"we'll make this a real surprise party"-mom
"can you make us latkes?"-me
"what do i get out of this?"-mom
"a hug"-me
"oh, i'm so excited i just fell out of my chair."-mom
"we're monkeys and andrea's a goat."-me
"you are monkeys. you walk like monkeys, talk like monkeys. and andrea is a goat, just living life..like a goat."-mom
"There are a lot of youn boys at this gym."-mom
"Well I'm going when no one will see me."-me
"You'll ask them to turn off the lights, right?"-mom
"I'm not getting into college."-me
"Why? Are the doors closed? Then you can go in through the windows."-mom
*learning 'gold ring' in russian*
*someone signs on and the little sign on box thing comes up*
"zdravstvuyte, at 11:30. Are they learning russian songs too? Maybe they're learning 'silver ring'."-mom
*in response to my randomly swollen lip*
"What happened? Did a boy try to kiss you and bite you instead? Just kidding, you wish a boy tried to kiss you."-mom
"I'm turning off this movie, it's scaring me."-mom
"It's just snakes...on a plane."-me
"THEY BITE!!!!!"-mom
"Don't call me that. Call me gabrik or something."-me
"Call you what?"-mom
"That satanous name..."-me
"gabriela?"-mom
"YES STOP IT!"-me
"Listen, I named you that, I'll call you it all I want gabriela gabriela gabriela. Your friends can call you shithead."-mom
"i still have to get a blood test"-me
"youre always too busy to go on saturdays."-mom
"arent they open during the week?"-me
"yeah but when can you go?"-mom
"at night?"-me
"gabrik, humans dont give blood at night. vampires do."-mom
"I'm not evil, i'm just mean"-mom
"what are you attatched to your skateboards boys? do you sleep with them?"-mom
"Girls behave, I know the boys will."-mom
"Time's flying, gabrik,"-mom
"Your moms flying."-me
"Why is babushka flying?"-mom
"because she is?"-me
"no no, i said time's flying."-mom
"i just want you to be healthy and happy be happy. hoppy happy hippie. just happy happy be."-mom
"gabrik want to drive. She already drive me crazy."-mom
*stares at 'hudson'* it's not fun to try everything when you're young."-mom
"shut up, i'm not trying anything."-me
"no, really, it's more fun when you're older. don't have sex now, wait a little, it's better when you're older."-mom
"i'm a virgin, chill."-me
"i'm just telling you. what would you do if you had sex now? call andrea and be like 'VASYA PUT IT IN WRONG!'?"-mom
"yes mom, that is exactly what i'd do."-me
"you guys are stupid."-me
"we're happy"-mom
"you're red"-me
"we're communists gabrik, cmon"-mom
"wear a thong to tan your ass"-mom
"i don't have one, shut up"-me
"an ass or a thong?"-dad
"both."-me
"well tan whatever's there"-mom
"i dont have a thing, shut up."-me
"borrow the one i bought for your mom on march 8th [womens day]"-dad
he was kidding btw
"are you serious, no fucking clubs?"-me
"they said teens meet, it's not a singles club"-mom
"i dont care! i need to find anyone! singles, lesbians, anything!"-me
*stares*-mom
"i'm not lesbian, i just need a friend."-me
"maybe you want a nudist club. oh! i have an idea! go outside naked and people will follow you! you'll start your own club!"-mom
"I had to buy my own tampons. wtf."-me
"do you expect me to buy things that go inside of you? What, do you want me to buy you a husband too?"-mom
*on phone with dadh* "activate my phone!"-me
"tell him thank you"-momh
"thankyou"-me
"that you will kiss him"-momh
"i will kiss you"-me
"his ass"-momh
"your ass"-me
"his toes"-momh
"here's the phone. WAIT WTF MOM !?"-me
"what you gonna geeve me in reeeturn gabreeella?"
"MY BODY, TAKE MY BODY" *pushes between boobs*-me
"Gabreek whoreee!"-mom
"don't you believe in physics, a phone can't dissapear."-dadh
"i knowww! mikey said his house has restless indian spirits, maybe they took it."-me
"they're not interested in phones, they don't need to call each other. spirits, they don't use the phones."-momh&dadh
"gabreeek, you are the h word....WHORE!"-mom
"He couldn't take his eyes off of you, they were all over you, he wanted to look at yours but you wouldnt look at him."-mom
"you gotta have some confidence. WORK THAT UP DO!"-me
"yes, you need confidence. it is she who chooses in the end, not he."-mom
"mom that's like your original motherly corner quote!"-me
"it is true. when he asks can you marry me, you say i will think."-mom
*me and andrea laugh*
"no, you can not say you will think you have to say NO!"-mom
"what if you like him?"-me
"then you say YESSS!!! DEFINATELY!! I WILL MARRY YOU! NOW!!"-mom
*me and andrea die*
*walking out the door for school* " peace maa"-me
"what is this peace? war!"-mom
"what do you want to eat? i make quesadilla with chicken and cheese?"-mom
"no mom i wanna be skinny"-me
"yeahhh me too i wanna be skinny"-andrea
*shakes head* "i am motherrr not genie!"-mom
"how do you use text language like on the commercial?"-mom
"just keep texting i'll know what you mean"-me
***[examples of] texts;***
-how was scl
-wr u gng now and hu
*gets off phone with andrea*-me
"are you doing witchcraft again?"-mom
"uhh.."-me
"are you trying to get a boy?"-mom
"wtf?"-me
"do your hmwk."-mom
"why is there vodka in the fridge?" -me
"don't worry about it, it's not for you, your party's over."-mom
*tells about house party*-me
"well at least we have a nice kitchen, did they say they like the kitchen?"-mom
"crystal's not a virgin. and neither are you. she finds you boys to have sex with behind fences. that's why you come home so late everyday."-mom
"don't tell me you like these boys that haven't even grown penis's yet."-mom
"I don't want that girl on my bed."-raffi
"you will in a couple of years."-mom
"YEAH GIANTS YEAHHHHHHH !" *runs through house screaming* "GABRICK THE GIANTS WON YOU SHOULD BE DANCING!" -mom
ps- my mom doesn't keep up with football.
*runs through house with phone in hand* "VOLDEMORT IS CALLING! VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT!"-mom
"you can plan your kids"-me
"How?" *puts fingers to ear like phone* "Excuse me husband, today you come home, we make kids."-mom
*when he comes home* "it's 9 o clock, we have an apptmnt, let's make kids."-mom
"mom, there are no surveilance camera's at train stations!"-me
"yes there are, people commit suicide there and they kill other people."-mom
*looks to person sitting next to her* "she like's trains. they should have an AP train class for her."-mom
"excuse me mom, what was that?"-me
"AP train..advanced trains"-mom
"buy yourself a bra instead of those ugly pants."-mom
"i'm too poor, you buy my bra's"-me
"i'd have to bring your boobs with me to do that."-mom
"mama, I'm fat"-me
"i know, stop eating."-mom
"your mom"-me
"how dare you say something like that about your babushka."-mom
"she said she was 2% native american if you trace back her history."-me
"how far back?"-mom
"idfk, like thousands of years?"-me
"millions of years ago dinosaurs lived where we live so what, we're all 2% dinosaur? go tell people that."-mom
"cut off your blue hair and wear that to school, boys won't be able to keep their mouths closed."-mom
"but she told me to chill!"-raffi
"at least she didn't tell you to heat."-mom
"you're not wearing slippers. no boy will even want to stand next to you, or especially kiss you"-mom
"do you have global hmwk?"-mom
"uhmm..maybe"-me
"and you wanted to get into AP US history. you'll get into history, just not US."-mom
"who is this cobaka of the 92nd year?"-mom
referring to someone's IM that had "92" in their sn.
"your mom"-mom
"yeah ma, that's you. you're insulting yorself."-me
"you insult me enough."-mom
"I was just asking if you knew them."-me
"Yeah, they're my friends, they're just blue and I'm black."-mom
"I don't have a myspace, I have your space. I want to be in your space."-mom
"get out mom"-me
"then why are you using my quotes?"-mom
"shut up. your gay"-me
"i want you to be out of space. yurachka, get her out of space, i don't want her to be in space anymore."-mom
"ooh. who are these boys ?"-mom
"some kids from school"-me
"which one do you like?"-mom
"NONE MOM SHUT UP!"-me
"i bet you like that one."-mom
"no mom but i'd be happy to introduce you."-me
"so who do you like show me their space."-mom
"no one, shut up."-me
"so show me who likes you."-mom
"no one! shut up!"-me
"i don't believe this."-mom
"kss kss ksss. kitty kitty kitty"-mom [to a cat outside of a deli]
*cat doesn't respond*
"it doesn't speak english or russian. It must speak chinese"-mom
"me and ali are gonna be jews for halloween."-me
"You be moses, she'll be jesus. Take the torah, she'll take the bible. Take your people to promise land. when you get tired tell them, okay people, we'll take this land, i have no time for you people, i have life. don't forget the torah and tell jesus not to forget the bible. now you need an Allah, he'll take the Koran."-mom
"i love boys with messenger bags, it's so cute and smart looking."-mom
"you're finally a sophomore. I've waited my whole life for this moment. I like that word."-mom
"don't bother father..or mother."-mom
"yo mom bouncee."-me
"dance? why? with who?" *pauses* "you're going to a dance? you're going to dance for me?"-mom
"This matzah's from 2004."-me
"Sell it on ebay, make some money."-mom
"They're selling just the xbox 360 console, no controllers or anything."-raffi
"They have just skull, no brain or anything."-mom
"I'm mad fat."-me
"you should mad run."-mom
"you left your space on raffi's computer."-mom
"yo mom where you goin?"-me
"following you, taking up yourspace."-mom
"What are you gonna do, go up to them and be like there's a sale sign but i see no sale?"-me
*Points to thong with little hole thing on it*"Should i go up and ask them about that hole in the ass too."-mom
"you should eat walnuts, theyre brain food, look they're shaped like brains!" *takes out big walknut* "That's what a brain looks like, yours shrunk" *takes out a wallnut less then half that size* "That's your brain. eat wallnuts, grow your brain back."-mom
"andrea has a space?"-mom
"yeah."-me
"she's out of space, not in space."-mom
*holds up grape*"marianna is pure. she is a virgin. you are a bad influence."-mom
"why the hell are we parking here?"-me
*points to some men*"you don't like the boys? well I like the boys, that's why."-mom
*pats left shoulder*"you have a devil" *pats right shoulder* "you have no angel"-mom
"i really got a 106 but she doesn't like me so she gave me an 86!"-me
"It's because of yourspace!"-mom
"wasn't it ourspace?"-me
"no space! out of space!"-mom
"I really wanted that sandwich."-me
"you're going to die."-mom
*points to train schedule on my wall* "there's the schedule of your life, go catch the train. you're a failure."-mom
"okay when i'm 16 you're going to get me a car and i'mma leave. and if i'm drunk, you'll pick me up, okay?"-me
"no, when you're 16, I'm going to get you a horse."-mom
"uhm..o.0"-me
"and a wagon of course! you and your friends can't all fit on one horse. if they did it in richmond town, you can do it now..you'll be the first kiddo on the block with a horse."-mom
"what's gahng-stah"-mom
"when yer cool,"-me
"oh i'm gahng-stah."-mom
"the bus crashed."-me
"oh good, how did you do on yer english test?"-mom
"mom there are ants in the house."-me
"the ants go marching one by one hooray, hooray."-mom
"Does this shirt look good on me?"-me
"It's fine."-mom
"But my boobs look big."-me
"that's good. look, the bird spread it's wings, if you didn't have boobs, it wouldn't be able to do that."-mom
"I saw ms. dobry in home goods."-mom
"you don't know ms dobry..."-me
"of course i do, everyone knows ms. dobry!"-mom
"So how was your CIM testing?-mom
"gay, we gotta 0 everyone failed."-me
"Tell him to sp;it a banana into 3."-mom
"he liked giving 0's, he laughs."-me
"What is he, lacking a chromosome?"-mom
"mom, my hair's falling out in clumps. I have lukemia!"-me
"no, it's fikemia."-mom
"huh?"-me
"fire-kemia...because you always burn your hair."-mom
"...oh."-me
"There are mices in taco bell."-mom
"No mom there are mice in taco bell."-me
"Yes there are mice."-mom
*continues eating cabbage soup*
"es."-mom
"You should go paint a 100 on his ugly ass bald head!"-mom
"uhh..mom?"-me
"you know what, why don't you give him a mission, give him a red flag and tell him 'turn this blue!'"-mom
"I practice abstinence."-me
"Yeah, you do that."-mom
*driving to michelle's partay on st.pats day.*
*we see 2 garbage snowcleaning trucks and like 2 cars following*
"What is this, the st. patricks day parade?!"-Mom
"andrea's like a snail now and in about two years, she'll come out ans show her peace sign...antenna's."-mom
"uhmm."-me
"You should be tortise, like andrea, the hare doesn't win."-mom
"you don't have to love your husband, you take what you can get."-mom
*jenn&i get in my car after coming out of andrea's house& dancing to the car*
"Why were you dancing?"-mom
"because a black famly moved in down the street let's relocate!"-me
"what black family?"mom
"nvm mom."-me
"why are we relocating, what? where is this black family?"-mom
"lmfao, you won't get it,it's from a song."-me
...2 minutes later...
"where's the black family?"-mom
"omg it's from a song!"-me
"why are we relocating?!"-mom
"mom! we're not relocating!"-me
"what?"-mom
...she still doesn't get it.
"He's not that tall."-Me
"Yes I am I'm 5'5!"-Brother
"Go to sleep nd you'll be 5'4."-Mom
lmfao;; I don't get it either.
"what's this 'lmao'"-mom[she pronounced it ee-ema-ai-yo]
"Andrea tell her what it means. She's trying to say 'lmao'"-Me
" i thought you meant 'ohh mae-ohh why you betray me'"-Andrea
"who betrayed you? Why you betray her?"-Mom
"haha."-Andrea
"lmao. She still wants to know. laughingmyassoff."-Me
"Ohhhh. But why does your ass have to laugh--you can't do it or something?"-Mom
"This traffic must be to go to andrea's house."-mom
"haha no..people think she's 'mad weird'."-me
"Aww..tell andrea that it's she who choses in the end not he."
*starts singing a russian song*-mom
"It's always just the three of us..me her and jenn."-me
*starts singing another russian song;* (translated) "There were nineteen and then there was threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"-mom
"we're losers."-me
"no you guys are not!" *starts singing some other russian song* (something like this [translated]); "It was black then it was white it was black and it was white lalallala" (idk it)-mom
[i forgot the rest...]
"You're like a durnk..always finding excuses."-mom
"He's not gay!"-me
"Maybe he won!27t admit to it now but one day he's gonna have sex with a girl and realize he doesn't like it and come to the conclusion that he's gay."-mom
"MOM WTF!"-me
"About your singing...i can help you"-mom
"WTF am i that bad?!!?!"-me
"well i could help you get better...a lot better"-mom
"MOM! you lower my self confidence"-me
"well yu do need work on yur singing"-mom
"OMFGWTFSTFU stopstopstopit!!"*runs away*-me
"I just want to help you!!"-mom
"She's half."-me
"Which half..right or left?"-mom
"nonono not like that!"-me
"then top or bottom?"-mom
"You know what...you guys are too obsesed with myspace...you should make a club called ourspace."-mom
|
