Who I'd like to meet: That Gandhi chick, you know, the one from India.
Tom.
The Singing Nun.
The Flying Nun.
FINE ... All Nuns.
Tom, did I mention Tom already?
Mary Kay Laterneau ... is that how you spell her last name? I usually have my secretary do my spelling for me, but she's busy shredding top secret military documents down at Kinko's.
That douche Tom. Prince Graceland
Beverly from 6th Grade, but just to say "hey, Beverly". Bhagarna the Foreign Man
If it ain't metal, it ain't shit
My 2 Best Friends
Hulk Benet Ramsey
and
Joran Van Der Hulk
Ask the Velcro Monkey of Doom ...
Ten Questions That I Was Asked Today
1. Is it the ennui or the humidity?
2. Is Chez Whiz an acceptable means of post coitus birth control?
3. Celebrities with mongoloid children, is this the latest fad?
4. How do I get a pair of underpants off of my head without touching them?
5. I remember when the alphabet had more than 26 letters, or was this a dream?
6. In what countries can you marry a goat without being laughed at?
7. That time Mick Jagger had sex with the Utah Jazz basketball team and had to get his stomach pumped. Ok, that's not really a question, but it makes you think, doesn't it?
8. Does it increase you chances of getting pregnant if your dog watches?
9. How can I stop thinking about gay sex with one of the apostles when I am in church?
10. What are the rest of the lyrics to that song that starts out "I've got a condom in my pocket and murder on my mind"?
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