George
Stand-Up / Explicit/Raw / Blue
|
|
 |
I'm a modern man.
Male
72 years old
I'll Fuckin Be There, California
United States
Last Login: 7/12/2007
|
|
|
|
View My:
Pics
| Gifts
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
George's Comedian Bio
|
| Bio | I grew up in New York city, county, and state. You know where I was conceived? Rockaway Beach. I make people laugh a lot. That's about all there is to it. | | Website | georgecarlin.com | | Influences | Catholic Church, Masturbation, Marijuana, The English Language, Society | | Members | George Carlin, The Hamster | | TV Shows | I've done more HBO Specials than Dennis Miller, and was recently a guest with that cunt on Jay Leno. Speaking of Dennis, I was on his show too. I've been all over the television scene. | | Films | Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Scary Movie 3, and that movie with that queer Ben Affleck. I only did the movie because I thought Jennifer Lopez had a nice can. | | Albums | Take Offs and Put Ons, FM & AM, Class Clown, Occupation: Foole, Toldeo Window Box, An Evening with Wally Londo Featuring Bill Slaszo, On the Road, A Place for My Stuff, Carlin on Campus, Playin' With Your Head, What Am I Doing In New Jersey?, Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics, Jammin' in New York, Classic Gold, Killer Carlin, Back in Town, You Are All Diseased, The Little David Years, Complaints and Grievances, George Carlin on Comedy, Life is Worth Losing |
|
|
George's Details
|
| Status: | Married | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | New York, NY | | Zodiac Sign: | Taurus | | Smoke / Drink: | Yes / No | | Income: | $250,000 and Higher |
|
|
![]() |
George's Latest Blog Entry
[Subscribe to this Blog]
|
Been busy.
(view more)
|
Never Hang Around - Excerpt from new book.
(view more)
|
| [View All Blog Entries] |
|
George's Blurbs |
About me:
I'm from New York. I make people laugh for a living. If you haven't seen a special on me yet then I'm really curious as to why you stopped in at my page.As many of you have most likely heard in one of my acts, I am a sun worshipper. Imagine if Christianity had not been previously established and you had just read the Bible for the first time. Well, ok, let's be realistic. Only a child molesting priest with an available hand would be willing to read the entire thing, that's just rediculous. But imagine you heard the general summary of the Bible for the first time and religion wasn't previously established. Wouldn't seem like a lot of bullshit? Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man who lives in the clouds. And this man has a list of 10 things that he doesn't want you to do. And if you do ANY of these things, he has a place full of burning and fire and hatred and eternal pain for you. BUT....... he loves you. He loves you, and he always needs money! After growing up on this story, I learned that there is only one constant thing in my life that is always there for me and gives me the basic necessities of life without asking for anything in return: the sun. So pretty much over night I became a sun worshipper. Well.. not overnight.. you can't see the sun at night. But the very next morning.
|
Who I'd like to meet:
Joe Pesci. Because I think he's a good fucking actor. Also I would like to meet the woman who was the inspiration for Snapper Lawnmowers. Am I the only one still laughing when these commercials are on TV? Doesn't anyone else in this fading republic remember what a Snapper is? A Snapper is a Pussy! Specifically, one with very tight elasticular walls that can grab a hold of you and give you a decent fuck. Now I have seen a few Snappers in my day. Never seen one that will cut grass. Maybe do a little edging.. maybe a little edging after a party... but that's all you could hope for.Here is a lit of people that, while I don't want to meet them, I would thoroughly enjoy watching them burn alive while trapped inside a port-a-potty:
Uppity parents who place bumper stickers on there car referring to there child's so-called success in a pathetically low-class learning institution.
These guys with the barbed wire tattoo that goes all around the bicep.
Anyone with the shirt that says "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way."
Anyone who wears the shirt "I'm With Stupid." when they're all alone.
Elvis. Let's face it folks... he really wasn't that great.
Any woman who gives me a toothy blowjob.
Rev. Jessie Jackson. Shut the fuck up already.
I will stop here for now. The list is incredibly long, and it is consistently growing.
|
|
| George's Friend Space (Top 8) |
|
![]()
|
